We embark on the final leg of our trilogy as we meet Tim Mokert. He is the last owner profiled, but certainly not the least as he is a favorite of one long-time owner.
“I, Richard Bentel – owner and mismanager of Dem Rebels, do hereby solemnly swear to honor, cherish and adore the membership of Tim Mokert, until death do us part. . . . Or until he doublecrosses me at next year’s draft.”
“I had no idea just how popular a guy could be by bidding two cents on Barry Zito. Had I known this in high school I would have been going up to all the hotties, bidding .02 on every ballplayer I could think of.”
Tim’s story begins in the Bay area (San Francisco, not Green) where he started his adult life running a Microbrewery. “Everyone else is growing grapes for the Wine Set. Me? I want to serve the common man with discerning taste.”
An errant conversation from a group of Silicon Valley big shots sent his life into a new direction. “I stopped by their table to see if they enjoyed my latest brew. As I was approaching, one guy was complaining of the production of Rick Reuschel. Another guy was harping at the slump of Bobby Bonilla. I heard them say ‘For what we paid for them, we should be getting more in return.’ I thought I was hearing the owners of the Giants and Mets talking. Turns out they belonged to a fantasy league. After some quick thinking, I joined the league on the promise that I would provide free beer to all league functions.”
The rest is history. Tim made quite a mark on this Bay area league, becoming the Commissioner and staying a part of it, even after he moved back to Chicago. Once back in Chicago, he ditched the microbrewery business and looked to make a splash in corn dogs. “Rolling Meadows is the perfect location to build the corn dog empire. It’s near O’Hare to catch all the tourists, and right off the main expressways to nab all the construction workers.”
He was also looking for a local league to dominate and saw the posting for the opening in the CFCL at the Fantasy Baseball Café website.
“My team name came pretty easy to me,” says Mokert. “Sometimes when we’re coming up with new recipes for the corn dogs, they don’t always turn out the way we would like. Then production stops for a few days while we deal with the residual issues.”
As the saying goes, “When one gastro-intestinal owner’s door closes, another one opens.”
Fortunately at the draft, there were no “corn dog issues”. Mokert made a splash right away, acquiring the eighth player of the draft, Jake Peavy, for .42. “I was looking for a California guy to start off my day and he was the first one brought up. That’s also probably why I went to .02 on Zito. I didn’t have any Giants on my team yet. I sure wasn’t trying to become best friends with Bentel. The guy won’t leave me alone. The e-mails, flowers, gift baskets. Dude, aren’t you married?”
Little does Tim know those are diversionary tactics to knock him from his current Second Place Loft. They are NOT, according to a source within the Rebel Flannel Factory, affectionate tokens of appreciation – as far as you know.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
One Moore Owner To Meet
In our continuing stooorrry about the three new additions to the CFCL we turn our attention to Michael Moore. Admittedly the CFCL was a bit nervous having a famous film director join their round table. Oh sure, the CFCL is not new to, nor intimidated by, the film industry. Having been featured in Trading the Gator, the red lights and red carpet are part of their makeup. Additionally let’s not forget the horrible mistake of a film the Bulls made at home in their youth (visit YouTube.com and search on “Bulls Getting Jiggy With It”). Being around a camera is second nature to the CFCL.
Imagine the surprise when, on March 30th, a dumpy, hairy, bespectacled man did not enter the Draft War Room, but a clean cut, slim, young banker did. This is Michael Moore? This is Michael Moore.
Currently residing in Rogers Park on the North Side, the Moore story starts earlier. Growing up in rural Wichita, Kansas young Michael was sitting at the dinner table one evening, having just shucked his twentieth silo of corn. He heard his sister proclaim: “Momma, these cornbread muffins are more better than them flapjacks you made this morning!” Young Michael’s life was changed forever. “If I ever move to Chicago and join an elite fantasy baseball league, I’m going to call my team More Better. No wait!!!! Moore Better! I could work my name into it! How cool! Hmm. I should go into marketing.” And a dream was born.
A few years later after Michael finished high school and college in the back of the warehouse of Brooks Agricultural in Salina, Kansas, he loaded up his car to head to Chicago. His father, hugging him good-bye, slipped a few extra dollars into the pocket of Michael’s waistcoat and wished his son “God speed.” After a few months of hitting the streets of downtown Chicago trying to show off his Marketing Wizardry, Michael was down to his last few dollars and desperate.
A stranger eating a bratwurst approached. Engaging Michael in conversation our Caped Crusader heard Michael pine, “All I want is to join a Fantasy Baseball League, forget about marketing and get into banking.”
“I think I can help you on both fronts,” said our hero as he adjusted his Brewer boxer shorts and straightened his Bernie The Brewer headpiece. “You see I am recent champion of a prestigious Fantasy League. And I also happen to own a bank. Why don’t you have dinner with me and we will figure things out.”
And so a few months later Michael joins the CFCL and becomes the youngest current owner. Being the youngest owner could be a problem for most, but not the determined Michael. “It’s really more of an advantage because by the fifth round of the draft, most of my older compatriots are looking to take a nap and I’m just getting started.”
That strategy will need some work. This year in the 5th round Moore Better snagged So Taguchi for .02 and in the 6th round they picked up Jack Wilson for .15. “I’m not worried,” says Moore. “Now I’ve got everyone’s phone number. Around midnight next year I’m going to start calling the other owners so they don’t get a good night’s sleep. 2009 will be my year to shine.”
Imagine the surprise when, on March 30th, a dumpy, hairy, bespectacled man did not enter the Draft War Room, but a clean cut, slim, young banker did. This is Michael Moore? This is Michael Moore.
Currently residing in Rogers Park on the North Side, the Moore story starts earlier. Growing up in rural Wichita, Kansas young Michael was sitting at the dinner table one evening, having just shucked his twentieth silo of corn. He heard his sister proclaim: “Momma, these cornbread muffins are more better than them flapjacks you made this morning!” Young Michael’s life was changed forever. “If I ever move to Chicago and join an elite fantasy baseball league, I’m going to call my team More Better. No wait!!!! Moore Better! I could work my name into it! How cool! Hmm. I should go into marketing.” And a dream was born.
A few years later after Michael finished high school and college in the back of the warehouse of Brooks Agricultural in Salina, Kansas, he loaded up his car to head to Chicago. His father, hugging him good-bye, slipped a few extra dollars into the pocket of Michael’s waistcoat and wished his son “God speed.” After a few months of hitting the streets of downtown Chicago trying to show off his Marketing Wizardry, Michael was down to his last few dollars and desperate.
A stranger eating a bratwurst approached. Engaging Michael in conversation our Caped Crusader heard Michael pine, “All I want is to join a Fantasy Baseball League, forget about marketing and get into banking.”
“I think I can help you on both fronts,” said our hero as he adjusted his Brewer boxer shorts and straightened his Bernie The Brewer headpiece. “You see I am recent champion of a prestigious Fantasy League. And I also happen to own a bank. Why don’t you have dinner with me and we will figure things out.”
And so a few months later Michael joins the CFCL and becomes the youngest current owner. Being the youngest owner could be a problem for most, but not the determined Michael. “It’s really more of an advantage because by the fifth round of the draft, most of my older compatriots are looking to take a nap and I’m just getting started.”
That strategy will need some work. This year in the 5th round Moore Better snagged So Taguchi for .02 and in the 6th round they picked up Jack Wilson for .15. “I’m not worried,” says Moore. “Now I’ve got everyone’s phone number. Around midnight next year I’m going to start calling the other owners so they don’t get a good night’s sleep. 2009 will be my year to shine.”
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Meet the Candy Colored Clowns
Since our time is always limited at the Draft for socializing and connecting with our fellow owners, the Monroe Doctrine has stepped up to the plate to bring you in-depth information about our three new owners. Over the next three weeks, you will be meeting your new owners again, for the first time. Due to scheduling conflicts and time constraints we didn’t bother ourselves with the formality of actually interviewing the new owners. I’m sure what follows will be news to them as well as you.
Monroe Doctrine (MD): It’s a pleasure to have you in the CFCL.
Candy Colored Clowns (CCC): Thanks. I’ve been looking for a local league that is as dedicated as the CFCL appears to be.
MD: Did you know that you look like Mr. Mitchell, Dennis the Menace’s father? Or Calvin’s father from Calvin and Hobbes? Especially when your glasses get dark due to the light.
CCC: Interesting. My wife has told me I’m quite dashing, but I’ve never been compared to a comic strip character – let along two. Next year I’ll bring a pipe to complete the image.
MD: Where does the name Candy Colored Clowns derive from?
CCC: It’s me facing my childhood fears. Clowns scared the hell out of me and candy with various colors freaked me out. Give me a Snickers, Milky Way or Hershey’s Bar any day of the week. But jelly beans, Skittles, M&M’s and Chuckles give me the willies. Think of it like the dude from The Natural. The owner of the New York Knights had a fear of the dark, so as an adult he kept his office in the dark that he might prove he had conquered his fears.
MD: In your “application” to the CFCL you mentioned that the Cincinnati Reds are your favorite team. Do you see any future drafting problems with other owners trying to make you pay extra for your home town heroes?
CCC: Not at all for two reasons. First of all this is the “Cubs Fan Club League” so methinks there are plenty of Cub rooters that are facing the same dilemma. Secondly, I saw the abuse heaped on the Stones and their Brewer love so I think I’ll be able to fly under the radar for a few years.
MD: You certainly did make a big statement when you pointed out that .23 wouldn’t be enough to buy Corey Patterson.
CCC: Yeah, that’s true. I was just telling them the price of playing poker. It’s not like I overdid it by drafting sixteen Brewers for my reserve list. I mean, c’mon Steve, at least try to disguise your passion a little!
MD: How did you find the CFCL?
CCC: I turned right off of Meyers, into the parking lot. But seriously, I received an e-mail from Kenn Ruby asking if I would be interested in joining. Kenn and I go way back. We were in the same STATS Fantasy League and I kicked Kenn around like he was a worn out soccer ball. Then we bowled together, just because I wanted him to think he could beat me at something. I’m not so sure about him anymore, though. What’s with Mr. Corn Cob?
MD: We’re not quite sure either. But the dude did win it all last year so you have to give him his props.
CCC: I will, begrudgingly.
MD: During the draft, the Rebels implored you to blink in the bidding on Derrek Lee. Ultimately you passed at .41. Had the Rebels worn their Authentic Derrek Lee jersey, would you have bid higher?
CCC: Oh man, I would have made him pay more than Chase Utley. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have blinked. I felt like the Stones were most likely going to drop (which they did), but I should have pushed the Rebels around with my pocketbook like I was Paris Hilton on a weekend spree. Oh well, live and learn.
MD: Mike, thanks for your time. Welcome to the CFCL!
CCC: My pleasure. If you’re ever in Orland Hills . . . keep driving. We’d prefer if you didn’t stop in to visit.
Monroe Doctrine (MD): It’s a pleasure to have you in the CFCL.
Candy Colored Clowns (CCC): Thanks. I’ve been looking for a local league that is as dedicated as the CFCL appears to be.
MD: Did you know that you look like Mr. Mitchell, Dennis the Menace’s father? Or Calvin’s father from Calvin and Hobbes? Especially when your glasses get dark due to the light.
CCC: Interesting. My wife has told me I’m quite dashing, but I’ve never been compared to a comic strip character – let along two. Next year I’ll bring a pipe to complete the image.
MD: Where does the name Candy Colored Clowns derive from?
CCC: It’s me facing my childhood fears. Clowns scared the hell out of me and candy with various colors freaked me out. Give me a Snickers, Milky Way or Hershey’s Bar any day of the week. But jelly beans, Skittles, M&M’s and Chuckles give me the willies. Think of it like the dude from The Natural. The owner of the New York Knights had a fear of the dark, so as an adult he kept his office in the dark that he might prove he had conquered his fears.
MD: In your “application” to the CFCL you mentioned that the Cincinnati Reds are your favorite team. Do you see any future drafting problems with other owners trying to make you pay extra for your home town heroes?
CCC: Not at all for two reasons. First of all this is the “Cubs Fan Club League” so methinks there are plenty of Cub rooters that are facing the same dilemma. Secondly, I saw the abuse heaped on the Stones and their Brewer love so I think I’ll be able to fly under the radar for a few years.
MD: You certainly did make a big statement when you pointed out that .23 wouldn’t be enough to buy Corey Patterson.
CCC: Yeah, that’s true. I was just telling them the price of playing poker. It’s not like I overdid it by drafting sixteen Brewers for my reserve list. I mean, c’mon Steve, at least try to disguise your passion a little!
MD: How did you find the CFCL?
CCC: I turned right off of Meyers, into the parking lot. But seriously, I received an e-mail from Kenn Ruby asking if I would be interested in joining. Kenn and I go way back. We were in the same STATS Fantasy League and I kicked Kenn around like he was a worn out soccer ball. Then we bowled together, just because I wanted him to think he could beat me at something. I’m not so sure about him anymore, though. What’s with Mr. Corn Cob?
MD: We’re not quite sure either. But the dude did win it all last year so you have to give him his props.
CCC: I will, begrudgingly.
MD: During the draft, the Rebels implored you to blink in the bidding on Derrek Lee. Ultimately you passed at .41. Had the Rebels worn their Authentic Derrek Lee jersey, would you have bid higher?
CCC: Oh man, I would have made him pay more than Chase Utley. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have blinked. I felt like the Stones were most likely going to drop (which they did), but I should have pushed the Rebels around with my pocketbook like I was Paris Hilton on a weekend spree. Oh well, live and learn.
MD: Mike, thanks for your time. Welcome to the CFCL!
CCC: My pleasure. If you’re ever in Orland Hills . . . keep driving. We’d prefer if you didn’t stop in to visit.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
The 25th Draft Is In The Books
Draft Day 2008
7:50 – Stones and Moore Better win the Da Paul Meister Award for arriving five minutes after the proposed start of the draft. Apparently they couldn’t pass up the Grand Slam breakfast at Denny’s.
8:01 - Presentation of trophy to Kenn who was too self-absorbed to show up to the banquet to receive it.
8:04 – Beginning of rule reviews and new business
8:15 - Election of the Executive Committee. Nick (unanimous despite haphazardly throwing his hat into the ring), David and Rich.
8:18 – Ruffin Privilege, Dave Holian brings up Dan Haren for .01. The DoorMatts acquire Haren two minutes later for .33. If you remember, last year the Matts didn’t get their first player until 10:40am.
8:29 – Chase Utley becomes the first .50 player with the Kenndoza Line snagging him at .53
8:41 – Mokert’s Revenge becomes first new team to acquire player (Jake Peavy at .42)
8:56 – First Round Complete
9:10 – Moore Better draft their first ever player, Andre Ethier for .17
9:45 – Candy Colored Clowns become the final first year team to acquire a player, Carlos Zambrano for .22.
9:59 – Rebels implore the Clowns to blink on their bidding for Derrek Lee. Ultimately they do and Lee goes to the Fightin’ Flannel for .41
10:08 – Rebels acquire Eugenio Velez whom the Copperfields, Ruffins and Kenndoza Line feel is this year’s De Aza. The main difference is that the Rebels were happy to draft Velez, where the Splinters were devastated when they bid .12 on De Aza. PLUS, Velez came at a 38% discount below De Aza’s price. Fantasy consensus is this is where Dem Rebels jumped the shark.
10:15 – Kenndoza Line, having walked into the draft with two dollars to spend, acquire their first outfielder (Andruw Jones for .29)
10:51 – First reference to Mike (Coulter) and Mike (Moore) in the morning by Matt Grage
11:05 – Picts use their twentieth Home Team Discount to acquire Derek Lowe
11:06 – Elijah Dukes (but not his cousin Daisy) are acquired by the Kenndoza Line for .08
11:42 – Moore Better gets locked out of the office for the third time, still not taking the hint that he’s supposed to stay in the lobby.
12:20 – Copperfields break out the traditional chicken patty on a bun for lunch
12:21 – Ruffins are the first team to draft a .01 player, Duaner Sanchez.
12:58 – Granging Bulls acquire Jose Bautista for .19, thereby completing their draft. They only have to wait two hours before the start of the Rotation Draft.
1:51 – Ruffins, Picts and Moore Better finish
2:47 – Mo’s Red Hots complete the draft by selecting Matt Murton. The 25th CFCL Draft is complete and a statement is made by the DoorMatts and Moore Better. They had .13 and .23 left in their pocket book, so they feel they can knock off their competitors by using 5% and 9% less money that everyone else. Time will tell.
3:20 – During the Rotation Draft, Kenn reports Texas is getting killed by Memphis
4:45 – The Rotation Draft is complete and everyone lets out a sigh of relief that the long day is over.
7:50 – Stones and Moore Better win the Da Paul Meister Award for arriving five minutes after the proposed start of the draft. Apparently they couldn’t pass up the Grand Slam breakfast at Denny’s.
8:01 - Presentation of trophy to Kenn who was too self-absorbed to show up to the banquet to receive it.
8:04 – Beginning of rule reviews and new business
8:15 - Election of the Executive Committee. Nick (unanimous despite haphazardly throwing his hat into the ring), David and Rich.
8:18 – Ruffin Privilege, Dave Holian brings up Dan Haren for .01. The DoorMatts acquire Haren two minutes later for .33. If you remember, last year the Matts didn’t get their first player until 10:40am.
8:29 – Chase Utley becomes the first .50 player with the Kenndoza Line snagging him at .53
8:41 – Mokert’s Revenge becomes first new team to acquire player (Jake Peavy at .42)
8:56 – First Round Complete
9:10 – Moore Better draft their first ever player, Andre Ethier for .17
9:45 – Candy Colored Clowns become the final first year team to acquire a player, Carlos Zambrano for .22.
9:59 – Rebels implore the Clowns to blink on their bidding for Derrek Lee. Ultimately they do and Lee goes to the Fightin’ Flannel for .41
10:08 – Rebels acquire Eugenio Velez whom the Copperfields, Ruffins and Kenndoza Line feel is this year’s De Aza. The main difference is that the Rebels were happy to draft Velez, where the Splinters were devastated when they bid .12 on De Aza. PLUS, Velez came at a 38% discount below De Aza’s price. Fantasy consensus is this is where Dem Rebels jumped the shark.
10:15 – Kenndoza Line, having walked into the draft with two dollars to spend, acquire their first outfielder (Andruw Jones for .29)
10:51 – First reference to Mike (Coulter) and Mike (Moore) in the morning by Matt Grage
11:05 – Picts use their twentieth Home Team Discount to acquire Derek Lowe
11:06 – Elijah Dukes (but not his cousin Daisy) are acquired by the Kenndoza Line for .08
11:42 – Moore Better gets locked out of the office for the third time, still not taking the hint that he’s supposed to stay in the lobby.
12:20 – Copperfields break out the traditional chicken patty on a bun for lunch
12:21 – Ruffins are the first team to draft a .01 player, Duaner Sanchez.
12:58 – Granging Bulls acquire Jose Bautista for .19, thereby completing their draft. They only have to wait two hours before the start of the Rotation Draft.
1:51 – Ruffins, Picts and Moore Better finish
2:47 – Mo’s Red Hots complete the draft by selecting Matt Murton. The 25th CFCL Draft is complete and a statement is made by the DoorMatts and Moore Better. They had .13 and .23 left in their pocket book, so they feel they can knock off their competitors by using 5% and 9% less money that everyone else. Time will tell.
3:20 – During the Rotation Draft, Kenn reports Texas is getting killed by Memphis
4:45 – The Rotation Draft is complete and everyone lets out a sigh of relief that the long day is over.
10:06am (Tuesday, April 1) - E-mail from the Ruffins arrives stating that he left behind half a turkey sandwich and a power bar in the refridgerator. It was delicious.
Here are some Draft Stats for you number geeks:
Most money spent at the draft on pitching: Red Hots .79
Most money spent at catcher: Ruffins .13 (Soto – last year it was the Rebels .16 for Ianetta)
Most money spent at Swing: Stones .33 Bay
Least money spent on Corner positions: Stones .03
Most money spent on Corner positions: Kenndoza Line .58
Most money spent on In positions: Kenndoza Line .55
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
The Hundred Year Itch
The 2008 Major League Baseball Season has kicked off with Boston off to a smashing success in defending their 2007 World Series Title. And while most of us are not terribly interested in the “other” league, there are some interesting things to consider.
For the first time since 2000, the season has begun in Japan. Harkening back to 2000, it was the Chicago Cubs and their nemesis New York Mets that squared off before flying back to the US to continue what would end up being a dismal season.
The Cubs led off on March 29th by winning 5-3 as the “visitors” and unbeknownst to Cub faithful, some benchmarks were achieved that day. Most notably and saddest, the fact that they had reached their high water mark FOR THE SEASON of 1 game over .500!!! The next day, playing a “home” game, they lost 5-1 in eleven innings (damn you, Benny Agbayani and your pinchhit grand slam!)
So back to America they came, an even 1-1 record. They would never see .500 for the remainder of the 2000 season. In fact they would finish 30 games back at 65-97 in Don Baylor’s inaugural season.
Was it the 12,640 mile round trip road trip that did them in? Could be. Maybe they didn’t get back on US or Chicago time until mid-May. That could certainly explain the funk they were in for the season. Until you look over to the Eastern Division and see that the New York Mets travelled 13,486 miles and finished the season 94-68, Wild Card winners of the National League and eventual runners up to the New York Yankees in the World Series.
Hmmm. Not the travel schedule then. Could it be the talent? Oh diggedy dog, yes. As is always the case (at least for the last 100 years) it was the talent. The Cubs starting line-up that year had one player under the age of 30. The world famous Willie Greene manned the hot corner at age 28. Other stellar performers on the diamond for our boys were Ricky Gutierrez at shortstop and Damon Buford in centerfield.
Our starting pitching was able to produce one double digit winning hurler (Jon Lieber, with 12). Scott Downs held down the 4th spot in the rotation and Rueben Quevedo and Ismael Valdez took turns as the fifth starter.
And yet somehow, as Cub fans, we believed that 2000 was our year. In the ‘70’s when we had Steve Ontiveros, Davey Rosello and Joe Wallis fielding their way to infamy, we still believed that this was our year. That is the glory and the failing of Cub fans. We embrace Bump Wills and believe that his game opening home run in Cincinnati to start the 1982 season was a sense of great things to come. But how could it when we had 36 year old Larry Bowa playing shortstop and Gary Woods running around in left, center and right? Karl Rhodes homers three times off Dwight Gooden in 1994 and we still lose 12-8 on the way to a 5th place finish, 35 games below .500.
And yet again we are seven days away from Opening Day, fully believing that D. Lee, Soriano, Fukadome, Wood, Zambrano and Lilly will lead us to the promised land. The baseball gods have it in their plans. Once every 100 years the Cubs and their fans will get a taste. Jack Brickhouse was wise beyond any of our expectations, a franchise really can have a bad century. It all ends now. Next year is here! Beware Red Sox, we have you in our sights and we are loaded.
For the first time since 2000, the season has begun in Japan. Harkening back to 2000, it was the Chicago Cubs and their nemesis New York Mets that squared off before flying back to the US to continue what would end up being a dismal season.
The Cubs led off on March 29th by winning 5-3 as the “visitors” and unbeknownst to Cub faithful, some benchmarks were achieved that day. Most notably and saddest, the fact that they had reached their high water mark FOR THE SEASON of 1 game over .500!!! The next day, playing a “home” game, they lost 5-1 in eleven innings (damn you, Benny Agbayani and your pinchhit grand slam!)
So back to America they came, an even 1-1 record. They would never see .500 for the remainder of the 2000 season. In fact they would finish 30 games back at 65-97 in Don Baylor’s inaugural season.
Was it the 12,640 mile round trip road trip that did them in? Could be. Maybe they didn’t get back on US or Chicago time until mid-May. That could certainly explain the funk they were in for the season. Until you look over to the Eastern Division and see that the New York Mets travelled 13,486 miles and finished the season 94-68, Wild Card winners of the National League and eventual runners up to the New York Yankees in the World Series.
Hmmm. Not the travel schedule then. Could it be the talent? Oh diggedy dog, yes. As is always the case (at least for the last 100 years) it was the talent. The Cubs starting line-up that year had one player under the age of 30. The world famous Willie Greene manned the hot corner at age 28. Other stellar performers on the diamond for our boys were Ricky Gutierrez at shortstop and Damon Buford in centerfield.
Our starting pitching was able to produce one double digit winning hurler (Jon Lieber, with 12). Scott Downs held down the 4th spot in the rotation and Rueben Quevedo and Ismael Valdez took turns as the fifth starter.
And yet somehow, as Cub fans, we believed that 2000 was our year. In the ‘70’s when we had Steve Ontiveros, Davey Rosello and Joe Wallis fielding their way to infamy, we still believed that this was our year. That is the glory and the failing of Cub fans. We embrace Bump Wills and believe that his game opening home run in Cincinnati to start the 1982 season was a sense of great things to come. But how could it when we had 36 year old Larry Bowa playing shortstop and Gary Woods running around in left, center and right? Karl Rhodes homers three times off Dwight Gooden in 1994 and we still lose 12-8 on the way to a 5th place finish, 35 games below .500.
And yet again we are seven days away from Opening Day, fully believing that D. Lee, Soriano, Fukadome, Wood, Zambrano and Lilly will lead us to the promised land. The baseball gods have it in their plans. Once every 100 years the Cubs and their fans will get a taste. Jack Brickhouse was wise beyond any of our expectations, a franchise really can have a bad century. It all ends now. Next year is here! Beware Red Sox, we have you in our sights and we are loaded.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
The Rights of Spring
At long last, the first weekend of March. The dreaded groundhog has made his appearance a few weeks back and . . . who cares if he saw his shadow or not? It always stays cold and snowy for another month anyway, damn rat-like varmint. But all that is behind us, it’s now March. The gods are about to reward us for the harsh winter by bringing to us, straight from the desert, Your Chicago Cubs!!! Live at 2pm Central Time on Saturday, March 1st, WGN-TV comes through with the first televised broadcast of 2008.
After 68 inches of snow and 350 days of sub-zero temperatures this winter, the anticipation is high. Our Boys of Summer are back! Lock the kids in their rooms, send the wife out to the mall, it’s baseball time! Sweet Lou leading the way in the first step in putting an end to the 100 Year Drought. ‘Click’ goes the remote and before me unfolds the beautiful green of the baseball lawn, the supercharged high blue sky of Arizona and the Superstation graphics laying out the starting line-up. Hold on, what’s that? Starting at firstbase, Micah Hoffpauir? Who? (Hey Abbott was right – Who really is on first!) At thirdbase Alex Cintron? Are you kidding me? Starting at shortstop is Ronny Cedeno? Hasn’t he been traded to Baltimore about six times this offseason? Rightfield is home to Sam Fuld? I know he’s competing for an outfield position, but he’s one-third too far west in the outfield. Where’s our newest Japanese import? Where’s the guy that actually makes me wish Harry was still broadcasting? “And now batting is Kouse-kouse F**k-a-dom-me. Hey Steve, can you believe the FCC is letting me say F**k-a-dom-me?”
Where is DLee, Ramirez, The-Riot, and Big Z?
I know it’s the first weekend game of Spring Training and none of this means anything come October, but c’mon Lou! We’ve had a dismal winter and are chomping at the bit to see our Men in Blue. At least for two or three innings, give us the good stuff. Let Zambrano air it out for an inning and then bring in the scrub pitchers. We need something to cling to when we watch the next weather forecast that truly makes us believe the Home Opener on March 31st will be snowed out.
After 68 inches of snow and 350 days of sub-zero temperatures this winter, the anticipation is high. Our Boys of Summer are back! Lock the kids in their rooms, send the wife out to the mall, it’s baseball time! Sweet Lou leading the way in the first step in putting an end to the 100 Year Drought. ‘Click’ goes the remote and before me unfolds the beautiful green of the baseball lawn, the supercharged high blue sky of Arizona and the Superstation graphics laying out the starting line-up. Hold on, what’s that? Starting at firstbase, Micah Hoffpauir? Who? (Hey Abbott was right – Who really is on first!) At thirdbase Alex Cintron? Are you kidding me? Starting at shortstop is Ronny Cedeno? Hasn’t he been traded to Baltimore about six times this offseason? Rightfield is home to Sam Fuld? I know he’s competing for an outfield position, but he’s one-third too far west in the outfield. Where’s our newest Japanese import? Where’s the guy that actually makes me wish Harry was still broadcasting? “And now batting is Kouse-kouse F**k-a-dom-me. Hey Steve, can you believe the FCC is letting me say F**k-a-dom-me?”
Where is DLee, Ramirez, The-Riot, and Big Z?
I know it’s the first weekend game of Spring Training and none of this means anything come October, but c’mon Lou! We’ve had a dismal winter and are chomping at the bit to see our Men in Blue. At least for two or three innings, give us the good stuff. Let Zambrano air it out for an inning and then bring in the scrub pitchers. We need something to cling to when we watch the next weather forecast that truly makes us believe the Home Opener on March 31st will be snowed out.
Monday, February 25, 2008
The Fourteenth Time is Right
When the Monroe Doctrine was resuscitated from its flatline status last year after a brief 16 year break, I harped on the morons in baseball’s fan-base that voiced their opinions on ESPN.com for Hall of Fame selection.
We now come full circle with the morons that actually do the voting. Just before this year’s election results were made public, the Tribune dedicated a page to their writers that had a vote for The Hall. While you could argue with their picks (Fred Mitchell voting for Tommy John; Dan McGrath voting for Alan Trammell; Phil Hersh voting for Don Mattingly;) at least these guys had a logic for their ballot. Then we come to Mark Gonzales. He voted only for Rich Gossage and Jim Rice. OK, fair enough. Personally I think Dawson should have been voted for as well, but that’s my opinion. The problem I have is with the article that Gonzales wrote explaining his selection.
“Someday, Tim Raines may be voted into the Hall of Fame. But not this year, at least not on this ballot. . . . I’m grateful I’ll have more chances to vote for Raines in the future. But after three days of crunching numbers and weighing other considerations, I wasn’t ready to vote for Raines – yet.”
What sense does this make? I can understand the person that won’t vote for a player and then over the years has his mind changed by further number crunching or insightful discourse with his colleagues. But Gonzales freely admits that he most likely will end up voting for Raines, but just can’t do it on this ballot. Why? He didn’t exceed his limit. He only voted for two guys.
This gets to the age old argument of how a guy can be Hall worthy after being eligible for nine years (Gossage, et al.) How did Gossage become better 14 years after he retired or how was he somehow worse only seven years after he retired? Either a player is worthy of the Hall of Fame or he isn’t. I suppose if the rules were changed and the player was only eligible for one ballot, there wouldn’t be as much drama each year. Baseball is steeped in tradition and one of those traditions is each year seeing if a player has risen up the percentage ladder to the magic 75% that grants him immortality. If you go to the Hall of Fame’s website you can see the election results of every election. In a sense it’s fascinating to see who made it and who didn’t each year and to see the progression of the eventual electees.
But from a practical standpoint you have to wonder why it is important to keep a player eligible to 15 years. That just contributes to the problem of the writers being allowed to not vote for a guy who is worthy. “I won’t vote for him this year because I can vote for him anytime over the next fourteen years.”
As with anything in life, it is better to talk about the solution than complain about the problem. I don’t see a clear cut solution. There has been talk that the fans should have a say. Dear god, please don’t. The All-Star game is already enough of a popularity contest.
There has been talk that select Baseball People should only vote (guys like Ernie Harwell, Bob Costas, etc. Gentlemen that actually watch the game and know who the great players are.) I don’t mind this too much, but I would hate to see Costas or any other individual turn into Joe Morgan (former Red/Astro/Phillie/A) and not vote for anyone.
Barring a major change in who casts votes, I think a step in the right direction is that anyone who doesn’t return their ballot or returns their ballot empty should lose their voting rights.
In a way baseball has continued the success ratio. You can bat ten times and reach base safely three times for a .300 batting average and be considered an All-Star. You can also vote ten times for the Hall of Fame, have logic or a certain rationale in your voting and logic three times and still be viewed as enough of a Baseball Know It All that you are allowed to have control over the history of baseball.
We now come full circle with the morons that actually do the voting. Just before this year’s election results were made public, the Tribune dedicated a page to their writers that had a vote for The Hall. While you could argue with their picks (Fred Mitchell voting for Tommy John; Dan McGrath voting for Alan Trammell; Phil Hersh voting for Don Mattingly;) at least these guys had a logic for their ballot. Then we come to Mark Gonzales. He voted only for Rich Gossage and Jim Rice. OK, fair enough. Personally I think Dawson should have been voted for as well, but that’s my opinion. The problem I have is with the article that Gonzales wrote explaining his selection.
“Someday, Tim Raines may be voted into the Hall of Fame. But not this year, at least not on this ballot. . . . I’m grateful I’ll have more chances to vote for Raines in the future. But after three days of crunching numbers and weighing other considerations, I wasn’t ready to vote for Raines – yet.”
What sense does this make? I can understand the person that won’t vote for a player and then over the years has his mind changed by further number crunching or insightful discourse with his colleagues. But Gonzales freely admits that he most likely will end up voting for Raines, but just can’t do it on this ballot. Why? He didn’t exceed his limit. He only voted for two guys.
This gets to the age old argument of how a guy can be Hall worthy after being eligible for nine years (Gossage, et al.) How did Gossage become better 14 years after he retired or how was he somehow worse only seven years after he retired? Either a player is worthy of the Hall of Fame or he isn’t. I suppose if the rules were changed and the player was only eligible for one ballot, there wouldn’t be as much drama each year. Baseball is steeped in tradition and one of those traditions is each year seeing if a player has risen up the percentage ladder to the magic 75% that grants him immortality. If you go to the Hall of Fame’s website you can see the election results of every election. In a sense it’s fascinating to see who made it and who didn’t each year and to see the progression of the eventual electees.
But from a practical standpoint you have to wonder why it is important to keep a player eligible to 15 years. That just contributes to the problem of the writers being allowed to not vote for a guy who is worthy. “I won’t vote for him this year because I can vote for him anytime over the next fourteen years.”
As with anything in life, it is better to talk about the solution than complain about the problem. I don’t see a clear cut solution. There has been talk that the fans should have a say. Dear god, please don’t. The All-Star game is already enough of a popularity contest.
There has been talk that select Baseball People should only vote (guys like Ernie Harwell, Bob Costas, etc. Gentlemen that actually watch the game and know who the great players are.) I don’t mind this too much, but I would hate to see Costas or any other individual turn into Joe Morgan (former Red/Astro/Phillie/A) and not vote for anyone.
Barring a major change in who casts votes, I think a step in the right direction is that anyone who doesn’t return their ballot or returns their ballot empty should lose their voting rights.
In a way baseball has continued the success ratio. You can bat ten times and reach base safely three times for a .300 batting average and be considered an All-Star. You can also vote ten times for the Hall of Fame, have logic or a certain rationale in your voting and logic three times and still be viewed as enough of a Baseball Know It All that you are allowed to have control over the history of baseball.
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