Husky Power

** To my loyal Monroe Doctrine readers. This summer has been a challenge to maintain weekly submissions, in part due to what you are about to read. I thank you for your patience and I will do the best I can to get back to consistent articles. Now, on with the show. **

Boy, being Mike Quade isn’t easy. I recently “volunteered” to coach my daughter’s third/fourth grade softball team, the Huskies. I say “volunteered” because I wanted to do it but wasn’t sure I would have the time to devote to it. When the second e-mail from the association came out saying they didn’t have a coach for the team I stepped up.

You would think the biggest challenge would be able to explain the Infield Fly Rule, or where the cutoff man should be on a hit to the outfield. Not for yours truly. My biggest challenge was learning and (more importantly) remembering 14 names. It didn’t get any easier by having two Alexandras and two Kirstens (one pronounced Keer-sten, the other Kur-sten and believe me the teammates notice when the wrong Kirsten is pronounced).

On our first day of practice I introduced myself, explained how our practices would run and then I asked if there were any questions. “Will you have a steal sign?” Man this is an advanced group.

Just before the third game of the year I had just finished my pre-game prep talk. A hand shot up in the air. “Yes?” “Can we slide into home?” Mind you in our first two games combined we had scored all of one run.

We have one slugger on the team who can reach the outfield grass on a fly. I have never heard so much noise as the two times she’s cranked the ball to the outfield and ended up with doubles.

Every game and each practice we talk about the fundamentals. Pay attention. Swing at pitches you can reach; not over your head or one’s that bounce three feet before the plate. Watch the batter when you’re in the field in case the ball gets hit to you. Quade has to deal with high priced stars and agents. I have dance steps in the outfield and hair blowing in faces “because my visor makes me hot.”

But even with that minor frustration, nothing can compare to the look on a child’s face when they have stared down the pitcher, hit a shot up the middle and legged it out for a basehit. The sheer joy on their face says everyone is having a great time.

Quade has his staff of Riggins, DeJesus and Dernier. I wouldn’t be anywhere without the parents of my team as well as my stellar staff of my oldest daughter Katelyn and a dad (Steve) of one of the players. Steve has the same mannerisms, voice quality and, if he shaved his goatee, facial features of The Professor. That could be why I’m enjoying the season so much. It brings back memories when Dave and I were leading “Martha and the Vandellas” to glory.

Weather, like with any outdoor sport, plays a factor. We have gone, in the space of four days, from 93 degrees with high humidity to 57 degrees and gusting winds. We also have had three rainouts. Mother Nature is not a friend to the Huskies.

As with any sport there will be altercations. Turns out the adults are the biggest problem. In one game I engaged in a shouting match with the other team’s coaches. After the game our girls said “That team is awesome! They cheered for us!” Didn’t matter to our girls that the other coach had his team stealing second and third in the sixth inning (we only play six innings, assuming it’s not dark yet) while leading 14-1. Every once in a while the kids see the bigger picture.

We’re still looking for win number one. You ever hear how a ballplayer says they feel like they went 3 for 4 because they hit the ball hard, yet they ended up going 0 for 4? That was us last night. It felt like a win. We cranked out eleven hits, struck out a season low ten times and had the tying runs on base in the last inning before losing 6-4.

Half way through the season and it’s already been a great year.

There's Good and Bad in Everything

As with most things in life there can be good and bad in the same entity. Despite the fact that the Cubs are in the throes of an eight game losing streak there are still some positives to consider if you look for them.

Going back to last off-season, the Cubs were looking for the next color guy after Ron Santo’s passing. I’m sure they had many options in the baseball world, but we heard publicly of three: Keith Moreland, Gary Mathews and Dave Otto. I would have been fine with either Moreland or Mathews but really wanted Moreland. Otto (especially with the season playing out the way that it is) would have been death on the radio. The Cubs got it right by hiring Moreland. He’s done a great job; very insightful, puts coherent thoughts together. The only complaint is that he sucks as the Ed McMahon to Pat Hughes’ stupid stories. That’s not his fault. He’s put in the awkward position of having to feign interest or amusement when Pat decides it’s time to tell a “funny” story because the game isn’t interesting enough to focus on. Hughes finally has a partner who can reach for the next level. It’s time he does the same thing.

During the off-season the Cubs were looking for a firstbaseman, a starting pitcher or two and some relief help. They did what the Federal Government, State of Illinois and most family households can’t do – they showed some fiscal responsibility. They picked up Matt Garza for prospects, signed Kerry Wood at a nice discount and signed Carlos Pena for a paltry $10 million which they spread over two years. Garza has been disappointing, but the potential is there. Wood has been good as well as an awesome influence in the clubhouse. Pena, while starting slow, has started to pick it up and may be the nicest Cub we’ve had since Ernie Banks.

At the top of the decision list during the off-season was “Who’s going to run this club?” It came down to fan favorite Ryne Sandberg and baseball lifer Mike Quade. Again the Cubs got it right. Eventually I would love for Sandberg to be managing the Cubs, but I don’t think he was ready. Our Boys in Blue are currently 12 games under .500, 11 out and six behind the Pirates. Think Sandberg would have changed that? More importantly how would he handle it? No one with an ounce of logic can blame Quade for this. 40% of his starting pitching went on the shelf in April, his centerfielder got hit in the face, Ramirez got a busted lip, Soriano is back on the DL, Colvin decides to hit like Karl Pagel and Dempster started out the year with an ERA of over 6.00. Some things are out of a manager’s control. The key is how the manager handles it.

Quade hasn’t overreacted or blown up. He had a team meeting behind closed doors. He didn’t take it to the media. When Zambrano made the immortal claim “We stinks”, Quade said it would be handled by Z’s teammates if they had a problem with his comments. The next day Zambrano apologizes and there’s no more story. Quade was the right personality to run this club. Now he just needs the talent.

Heading into the season Quade named Dempster the Opening Day starting pitcher. Exact right move. Sure it could piss off Zambrano, but Z didn’t earn it last year – Dempster did. Quade made the right decision, hurt feelings be damned. Imagine how good the Cubs could have been had Baker pushed Sosa down in the order before Sosa “volunteered” or had Pinella taken Soriano out of the leadoff spot years before it actually happened?

Like with anything there are also bad choices that were made. When Wells and Cashner went down, the original choice was to have Jeff Russell spot start. Oh baby that’s not the way to go. Then logic says bring in a grizzled veteran to eat up some innings. Sounds logical as long as that grizzled veteran isn’t Doug Davis. Strike two. Need someone in addition to Davis to be able to turn the rotation over? Here’s Rodrigo Lopez. Strike three looking. Now the fans are saying “Isn’t there some prospect at Double or Triple A that could be promoted and get some Major League seasoning?” That’s backseat driving in my opinion. Had they done that first and the prospect gets smoked, then we would be calling for the Doug Davis’ of the world because “they have experience and can at least eat some innings.” We just don’t have the depth. That’s probably a Hendry issue. But how many teams have seven quality starters in case they lose two or three of their rotation? None.

In the meantime we’ve been able to enjoy the emergence of Darwin Barney (again the right choice to start at second, rather than going with the veteran DeWitt) and the energy of Tony Campana. Sure, Campana will most likely go back to the minors when Johnson, Baker and/or Byrd come back, but it sure has been fun to watch Campana fly around the bases in a way we haven’t seen since Dunston was legging out triples.

So while the Cubs are horrible this year, it’s important to keep in perspective that decisions made during the off-season were correct.

Running With The Wolves and My Girls

This week we bring you a mash-up of sorts of Monroe Doctrines present and past.

Yesterday was the culmination of my semi-volunteering/getting talked into running the Second Annual Running of the Wolves 5K. My daughters, Ally and Kristi, wanted to do it. Ally’s an old pro, having run it last year (Monroe Doctrine May 24, 2010). Kristi was giving it a shot for the first time.

We go to registration to pick up some swag and receive our runners bibs. Much to my chagrin I was assigned number 21. The marathon gods are laughing at me. Will I juice up and perform like Sosa or underperform like Colvin or go old school like Greg Gross?

I noticed last year and again this year, there seems to be a parental courtesy of slowing down to run/finish the race with your child. However it doesn’t appear to be a reciprocal relationship. Ally took off at the starter’s gun and Kristi came down the homestretch, saw the finish line and took off like she was the Roadrunner getting away from Wile E Coyote (little puff of smoke leaving her heels included).

My hope was to finish with a better time than I did last year. But since I didn’t train at all, was one year older and the last time I went for a run was the First Annual Running of the Wolves, the odds weren’t favorable. Surprisingly I finished 14 seconds behind last year’s pace with a time of 35:12 (ok, so I performed like Colvin), which if you turn that into a whole number is the amount of aches and pains I’m feeling this morning.

I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. This year there wasn’t a positive Cubs team to focus on. The Rebels are stumbling in eighth place, and I didn’t want to be focusing on that for 3.2 miles. So I charged up my IPod and set the tunes to Straight No Chaser (Monroe Doctrine April 20, 2011). I knew I was going to need the guys to carry me through the hard parts (basically everything after the first half mile).

That strategy worked pretty well. “Up On The Roof”, “Billie Jean/Poison”, “For The Longest Time” and “Heard It Through The Grapevine” took my mind off the pain in my legs, the cramps in my sides and shortness of breath. Down the home stretch I queued up “Lion Sleeps Tonight”. The goal was to finish the race before they finished the song. It was close, but mission accomplished. Before the final “Aweemaway” I sprinted past the school’s principal and, wait, what the hell is that? Oh god, dehydration and delusion must be setting in. There’s a huge six foot dog at the finish line. That can’t be right, can it? Don’t piss him off! Give it a high five. As it turns out it was a guy in a big dog suit that is the mascot from Aaron’s Furniture & Electronics in Aurora.

I will tell you that one parallel in life and sports is focus and determination. Ally was determined to improve on her performance last year and get a medal. She did it. Knocked five minutes off her time and finished second in age group, garnering not a medal but a trophy.

We’ll be back next year for more pain, suffering and pride.

The Globe is Warming Up (to the Monroe Doctrine)

The Monroe Doctrine is many things. Whimsical? I hope. Insightful? I double hope. A waste of time? I hope not. But international? Who knew?

Being able to track the visitors to the Monroe Doctrine has allowed me to recognize my loyal readers (Matt B., Tim, David) but also the states and countries – yes I said COUNTRIES – that have visited the humble musings of a bald guy destined for endless second division finishes.

Aside from Naperville, Chicago and Mount Prospect, here are the more interesting hits on the 3^rd rock from the sun. Liepaja, Latvia; Mesa AZ; Quezon City, Philippines; Russian Federation; Mountain View, CA; Laurens, SC; Ulsan, Republic of Korea; Oakley, CA; Rego Park, NY; Council Bluffs, IA; Nagoya, Aichi, Japan; North Easton, MA; Saline, MI; Fort Wayne, IN; Burlington, IA; Quinter, KS; Greensboro, NC, I kid you not.

I know some of the distance comes from current and past owners. But Ulsan, Republic of Korea? Hello! Was someone in Mesa, AZ trying to get the latest baseball news as Spring Training was beginning?

Is North Easton, MA, trying to get the latest on the Red Sox/Yankee rivalry? Boy did you misfire, we only cover major league baseball at the Monroe Doctrine.

Mountain View, CA is closer to Stanford University than they are to a major league city. Is a movie director scouting me out to turn my words into pictures?

When I saw this I had to think about what someone in the Phillippines could be searching on that would cause them to visit the Monroe Doctrine. It couldn’t be that we’ve become an international hit could it? Will I be invited to come to Liepaja and appear on “Good Morning Latvia”?

Will I guest appear with “Boris and Kathy Lee” in the Russian Federation? I could be spreading the word about fantasy baseball in general and the CFCL in specific. Ooh the possibilities! You guys better be nice to me lest all your dirty secrets come flowing out!

Maybe I make the typical rounds of the Philippines, Japan, Korea and Rego Park, NY, dropping amusing anecdotes and weighing the response. Then I come back and write the Great American CFCL Fantasy Novel and do it up big. Certainly owners like the DoorMatts and Ruffins are in more jeopardy simply due to their tenure in the league. But as the MD has proven in the past, we never let the facts get in the way of a good story. So the Clowns being scared of multi-colored candy and the Danger sleeping with a stuffed sheep could make its way into chapters five and six.

Mr. Shigatosi, I’m ready for my closeup!

Meet Stranger Danger

2011 brought the CFCL a new owner, Scott Strang. Before we meet Scott, first the Monroe Doctrine disclaimer:

Due to scheduling conflicts and time constraints we didn’t bother ourselves with the formality of actually interviewing the new owner. I’m sure what follows will be news to him as well as you

MD: As the newest owner you have some pretty big shoes to fill, taking over the roster of the Copperfields. Feel any pressure?

SS: Can’t say that I do. I don’t know the Copperfields.

MD: The Copperfields were a combination of Thomas Jefferson, for creating the CFCL, and New York Yankees, for dominating the standings.

SS: Gee, thanks for that. NOW I feel the pressure. Actually I feel more pressure trying to compete and surpass the DoorMatts, they are the ones that brought me into the league.

MD: Fair point. Hey did the DoorMatts tell you that you're supposed to submit a Team Profile?

SS: He mentioned it. You guys really are geeks, aren't you?

MD: To the core. You brought along an assistant to the draft, who was he?

SS: Assistant, yeah. He’d hate that title. That was my brother, Bob. I view him as my assistant, but he thinks he’s the Co-President of Stranger Danger.

MD: That leads to the team name. Interesting choice.

SS: I know, I know. Makes everyone think I stalk little kids at schoolyards. Not true. With my last name there’s not a lot of directions you can go. My intent was to point out that I’m a stranger to the league but you’ll be in danger if you overlook the new guy.

MD: I like it. You could have gone down the road of “Perfect Strangers”, especially since your brother is part of the decision making process, at least on Draft Day. Nice little comparison to the TV show about cousins that lived in Chicago. Are you the Balki Bartokomous of the duo?

SS: Well, I don’t have an accent, but I do sleep with a stuffed sheep. His name’s not Dmitri, it’s Fluffy, so I guess there’s enough of a similarity.

MD: We’re going down a road we should get off of. You mentioned that you didn’t want the league to overlook the new guy. You went a long way to make that happen by dominating and spending most of your budget in the first two rounds of the draft.

SS: I had some guys targeted that I felt would represent the Stranger Way. They were brought up early in the draft, so I had to strike.

MD: “Stranger Way”? What’s that?

SS: The Stranger Way is the way I live and what I expect my players to exemplify. The Stranger Way is a weekend getaway at the Hilton in the Executive Suite. The Stranger Way is maintaining legal speed driving in the left lane to pass – only. The Stranger Way is NOT texting while driving. The Stranger Way is killing the DoorMatts! (make me clean the pits, will you?) The Stranger Way is red in Vegas, not black. The Stranger Way is zip-lining through the rain forest, not sitting on a beach. The Stranger Way is top hat and tails on New Year’s Eve. The Stranger Way is calling Mom every week. And the Stranger Way is running out every lazy flyball and easy grounder to short.

MD: Words to live by. Thank you, Scott, it’s been a pleasure.

Straight No Chaser

It’s always fun when two areas of our lives crossover. Say you love beer and your wife comes home and says “Let’s check out the new microbrewery.” Nice. Boss comes in to your office and says “I’ve got two behind homeplate for today’s game. Don’t take a sick day – let’s go!” Better than great.

The world of music and baseball collided in my life. Baseball has always been number one, year round, 24/7. As for music, you may be familiar with The Beatles, The Who, Rolling Stones, Led Zepplin, Jon Bon Jovi, Lady Gaga. Well above all of that are Don, Seggie, Ryan, Walt, Mike, Randy, Dave, Jerome, Charlie and Tyler. No, it’s not the other Jackson kids. Those in the know, know these ten are Straight No Chaser.

For those sadly unaware, Straight No Chaser is an a cappella group formed at Indiana University who became an Internet sensation when their final concert at IU was taped and posted on YouTube. Their rendition of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” went viral (over 13 million views) and the president of Atlantic records saw it, called the guys and said “Let’s make a deal.”

You have no doubt heard a cappella music whether it’s singing in the shower, listening to Rockappella, Huey Lewis and the News, Billy Joel or even the guys standing around the burning trash can in “Rocky”. I’ve heard a cappella. During my formative college years I ran around Chicago with my best friend watching “Four Guys Standing Around Singing” perform. What Straight No Chaser does is in another stratosphere, setting the Platinum Standard for a cappella if not music itself.

The way they cover The Beatles, Coldplay, Michael Jackson and Bel Biv Devoe is beyond standard. Everything they do is “with a twist”. Everything - including how they interact with their fans. During select songs they will bring an audience member up on stage. After every, I MEAN EVERY, show they meet their fans out in the lobby for autographs and pictures, waiting until everyone has been taken care of. They encourage their audience members to videotape their concerts and post them on YouTube. They go out of their way to remember and acknowledge their returning fans. These guys don’t have groupies – we are Chasers.

Certainly music is foremost in their lives, but these guys are well-rounded. Most are college basketball fans. But this is about music and baseball. Seggie’s from Detroit so he’s a Tiger fan and he’s also into fantasy sports. For some reason Walt has decided that the Mets are worth following, but he redeems himself by being an avid fantasy sports fan. Don also is a Mets fan (from Colorado?), but he redeems himself by having the same birthday as me and Mike B. Randy’s from Naperville so I can only hope that he’s a Cub fan.

Before you think this was a manufactured group ala O-Town or an American Idol winner, think again. This group has serious chops. They’ve performed with Manilow. They sold out an entire summer concert series at Harrah’s in Atlantic City last year. They’ve done the National Anthem at Wrigley and Soldier Field. They were the featured group in the nationally televised “Skate From the Heart” starring top professional ice skaters.

If you haven’t indulged yourself, I encourage you to visit their website at www.sncmusic.com and check out more videos. I’ll warn you in advance to allow for plenty of time. Just like Jays potato chips – once you start, you just can’t stop. I will end this article the way they end their shows. For their final song, they go “unplugged” putting away their microphones and just harmonize. This is from a show they did in Kansas City. .

A Privilege Playing With The Ruffins

The first time I met Dave Holian I was a senior in high school sitting in Mr. Curry’s Journalism class at Oak Park – River Forest High School. Dave was the Sports Editor for the award winning school newspaper “The Trapeze” and had come in to consult with Mr. Curry. He looked over at me in my Cub shirt, pointed with a big grin on his face and proclaimed “They’re everywhere!”

Each morning he would grab the Tribune, turn to page 3 and read Royko. He had his walkman on with a Mo-Town mix tape, eyes closed, head swaying in a less exaggerated Stevie Wonder motion saying “Bring it home Diana!”

After the CFCL had been cooking along for two years it was time to bring in a quality owner so we asked Dave to join us. Twenty-six years later he still hasn’t forgiven me for not asking him to join in our inaugural year.

Once the invitation was offered and accepted, Dave quickly became the humor and light of the CFCL. Virtually every clip of previous drafts on YouTube, in Monroe Doctrines and on various CFCL websites is there because something amusing happened. In the middle of that amusement is Dave making a witty observation or being downright hilarious.

But before you think Dave is just a guy with seltzer water, he’s also a man with an amazing vocabulary. One night we were walking to a restaurant in Forest Park and we passed a bar called the Nut Bush. One comment led to another about whether this was a gay bar. Once this question was posed, two guys came walking in the opposite direction holding hands. Dave then pointed out “That was a perfect schematic representation.” Now in retrospect, that description makes sense and is easy to understand. But at the time I’m just a guy walking down the street when all of a sudden “schematic representation” happens.

He uses that knowledge to teach students at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro (actual class he teaches – American Politics where he discusses the size of Thomas Jefferson’s hat and the impact it had on the South’s loss in the Civil War), hence the nickname “The Professor”. That professorial demeanor doesn’t preclude him from exuding boyish excitement like when he created his Ruffin logo by taking a picture of the Temptations (led by singer David Ruffin) and superimposed a baseball bat in such a manner that it looks like the Temps are pointing to the bat. “Look! They’re pointing at the bat!” he was heard to exclaim.

Some unique owners in CFCL history even make it into the Constitution. Look at Article IV and you find The Ruffin Privilege. Every year the Ruffins have thrown out the first player to be bid on. Most of the time he was successful in doing so, but even a Northwestern grad has his Ray Lankford moments (See Youtube.com and search ‘Ray Lankford Incident’).

With the retirement of the Copperfields, Dave is the second longest tenured owner and the last remaining owner named Dave (five total in CFCL history). Dave has done all of this from three different states (Illinois, Indiana and North Carolina). He’s also the only owner, other than the Copperfields, to win three CFCL titles.

It’s been a privilege to have the Ruffins in the CFCL for the past 26 years.