Pat Hughes Must Go

This isn’t the first time I have written this and unfortunately it probably won’t be the last, but Pat Hughes (radio play-by-play man for the Cubs) needs to quit or be fired!

I hate being negative toward someone or criticize the job someone does because I know I am the furthest thing from perfect.  But the Cubs and/or WGN Radio keep running Hughes out to provide the radio description of Cubs games and every year, for me anyway, it gets more and more aggravating.

When Hughes first joined the Cubs he was partnered with Ron Santo.  Hughes would handle some of the pre-game analysis, Ron would interview the manager.  Then Hughes would do play-by-play for the entire game and handle the post-game highlights.  Not a big deal, pretty much what every announcer does in any major league town.

During the games with Santo he would “leave the game” and talk with Ron about everything but baseball.  Some people found that cute.  That’s ok.  I never really did, but whatever.  The irritating thing started when I heard Hughes interviewed during the off-season and the interviewer commented on how much fun he and Santo seemed to have broadcasting the games.  Hughes, with an almost defiant air of superiority, mandated “My job is to make the listener really laugh two or three times a game.”  Really?  I thought your job was to describe what’s happening on the field since I’m in my car and don’t have access to a television.  If I wanted to laugh I would turn off the radio and pop in my Bill Cosby CDs.

But fine, you want to talk about Ron’s toupee or your tuna sandwich, whatever.  But then I was told about a conversation Hughes had DURING THE SEASON with the Program Director of WGN.  Apparently he said “Man I’m worn out.  Any chance I can get a short vacation?”  Fortunately the PD said “No.”  But let’s look at this a bit, shall we?  The baseball season runs from the beginning of April to the end of September (that’s the Cubs season anyway since we don’t have to worry ourselves with post-season play).  That’s six months.  Spring Training begins in mid-February, but games usually aren’t broadcast until Mid-March.  So at most he’s working six and a half months.

A baseball game typically lasts about three and a half hours.  If you’re doing pre-game and post-game stuff you’re on the air for maybe four and a half hours.  Sure there’s research and prep work to be done, but keep in mind there are A LOT of people out there working ten hour days unloading trucks ALL YEAR LONG!

So when Hughes was doing all his duties for the Cubs he was working six and a half months about five hours a day.  Yes, I know, travelling can wear you out.  I don’t travel for a living so I don’t know what effect it can have on the body.  But guess what?  You knew that when you applied for the job!  I help people invest for their financial future.  This would be like me saying “I don’t mind getting paid to do my job, but could I not talk about investments?  It’s really wearing me out.”

So somehow the Cubs/WGN have agreed to this current schedule for Hughes.  He doesn’t do Spring Training games until about a week before the regular season starts.  He doesn’t do any pre-game or post-game work.  That’s handled by Keith Moreland and Judd Sirott.  He also DOES NOT BROADCAST THE 5^TH INNING OF THE GAME!  He does not broadcast one inning per game (times 162 games = 162 innings divided by 9 [standard length of a game] =18 )  He essentially does not broadcast 18 games a year or 11% of the season.

Last year he missed at least seven additional games for (according to WGN) non-health related reasons.  He also missed three games so he could be in Cooperstown to honor Ron Santo at his induction.  The Hall of Fame time I totally get.  He should be there.  He worked with Santo for about 18 years.  He absolutely needed to miss the Cubs games that weekend and be with Santo’s family.

And all of this other stuff would be fine (well no it wouldn’t but it would be tolerable) if Hughes wouldn’t whine every time a game was played in less than 60 degree temperatures or during a ten or fifteen day streak of consecutive games.  The minute the temps are in the 50’s or the Cubs play ten days in a row or 19 out of 20 games, Hughes will comment on it as if it is personal torture.

He needs to keep in mind that there are hundreds and thousands of people that would love to work half a year and get paid to talk about baseball.

The sickening thing in my mind is that if he would just do his job; forget the damn jokes, forget the stupid ass 9^th inning trivia and just broadcast the game.  If he just did that?  He’s one of the best play-by-play guys I’ve ever heard.

Brief Recap of the 2013 Draft

Wow, has it really been six and a half months since the last post?  I guess it has.  Well with baseball back in full swing there is plenty to talk about.  We will get there in due time.  But as is tradition here at the Monroe Doctrine it is time to kick off the year with the 2013 CFCL Draft In Review.

Every year the draft brings some interesting things and this year was no exception.  With three owners living out of state and an early Easter this year, coordinating schedules was a challenge.  The Ruffins were unable to make it in to town, which sucked.  Every year you can always count on Dave’s humor to keep the draft moving along.  But whenever a door closes a window opens, as they say and our window was former Copperfield owner, David Mahlan.  David had been the heart and soul of the league for 27 years before retiring back in 2010.  He has been sorely missed and we have tried everything to get him back.  Well it finally worked.  David agreed to be the proxy for David’s Ruffins.  Patched in with a Bluetooth headset and cellphone, David was the voice for the Ruffins and a welcome sight for the CFCL.

I just committed the biggest sin (or one of them) in journalism.  I buried the lead.  The lead of the blog should be - - - THE CFCL TURNS 30 THIS YEAR!  Thirty years ago David approached me about a little green book he found in the sports section of the book store and the rest is history.  Actually the rest and the history is being presented on a separate blog.  For those of you so inclined, I invite you to visit http://cfclrebelcopperfield.blogspot.com/ where you will be able to read daily entries pertaining to the history of the CFCL.  Our goal is to provide an update daily with historical knowledge about the league, trivia, video clips and Q&A from former and current owners.

Back to this year’s draft.  We had some interesting things take place.  The owner of The Danger had an unavoidable conflict arise and couldn’t attend, so he sent his brother to draft for him.  So for the first time in CFCL we had two proxies sitting in.

The Ruffins invoked the Ruffin Privilege at 12:55pm and brought up Troy Tulowitzki and we were off to the races.

A few hours into the draft, for the second time ever, we had an owner depart before the draft ended.  Dan, the proxy for The Danger, received word that he had feverish children at home.  Doing the only thing he could, he left to take care of his family.  But not before he nominated Carlos Marmol for bidding a .05.  I will grant you this is a Cub Fans League (that’s with CFCL stands for – Cub Fan Club League), but nobody took the bait.  Nine owners passed quickly and Marmol took his seat in the Danger bullpen.

**If my memory is right about this one, the only other time an owner left the draft before it was over was in 2002 when the Resevoir Dogs had to leave, also due to an ill child.**

Within six nominations of each other, Tim Lincecum and Roy Halladay were brought up for bidding.  The strange thing this year about that is that Halladay was brought up at the end of Round 4 and Lincecum in the middle of Round 5.  Normally they would have gone early in Round 1.  The other crazy thing is that Halladay went for .11 and Lincecum for .10.  Combined .21.  The last time they were available at the draft Halladay was taken at .37 (DoorMatts – 2010) and Lincecum went for .37 as well (Twin Killers – 2012).  How quickly baseball changes.  A combined .74 down to a combined .21.  Rafael Soriano basically went for the same price (.20) as those two combined.

When the Danger Proxy left, the Danger still needed four active players and an entire reserve list of seventeen.  In what may actually have been a first, the Danger completed their roster three days after the draft ended.  In the short run they don’t seem to be too damaged as they are entrenched in sixth.  But the Reserve List usually shows its strength or weakness in the dog days of the season, so we’ll see what staying power the Danger have in the long run.

The highest player salary this year was Joey Votto (.49 to the Clowns) [Honorable Mention to Carlos Gonzalez who went for .48 to the Danger).  Most expensive pitcher was Cliff Lee (.41 to the Beatniks).  The Twin Killers picked up the first penny player, Donovan Solana, in the second round.

And five hours and five minutes after the Auction Draft began, the Kenndoza Line took Daniel Descalso to complete the draft.

The Real Starlin Castro

In some respects I hope that Starlin Castro is the next Andruw Jones.  First of all hitting 433 homeruns so far is pretty cool (as long as they weren’t chemically assisted).  Ten consecutive Gold Gloves makes a fan salivate, especially if it came from a shortstop.  But perhaps the piece de resistance is the fact that Jones hit two homeruns in the World Series for the team that drafted him and promoted him from the minors.  As a long suffering Cubs fan, the thought of Castro hitting two homeruns for the Cubs in a World Series is beyond comprehension.  So based on the above, I wouldn’t mind it if Castro was the Cubs version of Andruw Jones.

Upon further review, there are some striking similarities.  Both Castro and Jones had their first full year in the majors at age 20.  They both finished 5^th in the Rookie of the Year voting.  After three years in the majors Castro has 511 hits, Jones had 413 hits.  Castro had 57 steals to Jones 71 and Castro has a .336 OBP compared to Jones having a .339 OBP after three years.

Unfortunately it doesn’t end there.  Despite winning ten consecutive Gold Glove Awards, Jones was, on multiple occasions, pulled during a game and even DURING AN INNING for lackadaisical effort.  Castro has the same tendencies.  The first one is well known, because Castro decided to completely ignore a couple of pitches on a nationally televised game.  Bobby Valentine, before he went to Boston to deconstruct the Red Sox, went to great lengths to deconstruct Castro’s performance during the at bat.  Castro, apparently thinking of an out he made while batting, was playing shortstop and turned his back to the plate while Ryan Dempster was in the middle of his windup.  Many Chicagoans jumped on Valentine’s case for embarrassing Castro.  While I can’t stand Valentine, he wasn’t wrong.  Castro completely exposed his team while in the field and then-manager Mike Quade should have run out the backup shortstop and pulled Castro before Dempster threw another pitch.  The fortunate part about that play was that the ball was never put in play and Castro resumed paying attention with the next pitch.

This season he wasn’t so lucky.  The Cubs were in Houston last Tuesday.  Yes the Astros and Cubs are playing for the vaunted “Please Don’t Let Us Lose 100 Games Award” and so the game was basically meaningless.  But no game is really meaningless.  The Cubs were on a four game winning streak (in fact they won the following two games as well, so a win here gives them a nice seven game run).  Guys are playing for their job next year; managers are trying to instill a certain ethic expected of their team; etc.  With the Cubs trailing 1-0 in the top of the sixth, here’s what happened.

Starlin Castro led off with a single to center.  Steve Clevenger struck out swinging.  With one out and Castro on first Dave Sappelt doubled to right putting Castro on third.  Then the braindead kicked in.  Darwin Barney lifted a flyball to center deep enough to score Castro.  Sappelt thought it was deep enough for him to get to third.  Turns out he was wrong.  He was thrown out at third for an inning ending unconventional double play.  Not a big deal until you see the replay that shows Castro cadillacing his way home and actually looking over his shoulder to watch the play at third.  In doing so he slowed himself down enough that he didn’t cross the plate before Sappelt was tagged at third, therefore the run didn’t score.  Cubs lose 1-0.

Will Castro grow up?  He’s 22, so yes he has some maturing to do.  But at age 22 many people are college graduates and working in Corporate America.  It’s not asking too much for a 22 year old to play (mind you PLAY – not WORK) a game he’s been playing for probably 15 years to the fullest of his ability.

I love Starlin Castro.  Love him to the tune of a four year, .25 contract in my fantasy league.  And maybe he’s extra irritating because he’s both on my favorite major league team and my fantasy team.  Maybe he’s extra irritating because the Cubs broadcast all 162 games on television so I can see each of his mistakes where if he played for the Orioles or Padres I’d only see the really stupid mistakes that make the highlight reels.  Maybe it’s because I just finished ten years of Aramis Ramirez dogging it around the bases and in the field and I’m looking for a fresh, revitalized star that gives his all.

And maybe, just maybe that’s what Castro is and I will end up remembering him more for his spectacular bat and not being pulled off the field in the middle of an inning.

Getting Called Up To The Big Leagues

“Have you had skin cancer before?”  And with that question, my battle against cancer began.  To be honest, it wasn't really much of a battle.  I have friends, clients and family members that have fought against cancer.  They have lost body parts, undergone extensive radiation and chemotherapy and been part of experimental drug treatments.  These people have been to war.

My battle was more like a squirt gun fight.  Basal Cell Carcinoma is, in fact, a form of skin cancer.  But as I was told by the dermatologist it’s the best kind to have.  Kind of like being given a dining choice of sautéed liver, live slugs and rare bird droppings of Indonesia.  While the fried liver is at least the most healthy, you really wouldn’t want any of them.

The fight was basically over before the bell rang.  A 30 minute procedure to remove a chunk of my back roughly the size of a large marble and it was done.  [I will, however, have a new and empathetic view of the pumpkin this Halloween.]  Sure there were follow up visits to remove stitches and do a full body examination to make sure no more Basal Cells were lurking elsewhere.  But basically that was it.

So now I guess I’m in the community of cancer survivors.  But it really feels like I’m saying “I’m a member of the 2004 World Champion Red Sox” when in fact, yes, I was on the team - but as a back-up catcher with 24 at bats and was sent down in August.

It all started innocently enough with a somewhat routine visit to the dermatologist.  I say somewhat routine in that I had never been to the dermatologist before.  I was there for a thing on my back that had been there for over a year.  It was a source of entertainment for the family as we affectionately called it “The Lesion”.  It itched, it freaked the kids out (in a good way) and basically added to the amusement my body brings to the family (think Shrek without the green hue and ears on top of the head).

My primary physician said it was most likely an open wound but since it hadn’t healed itself over the course of a couple of months I should go to the dermatologist.  He was reasonably certain it wasn’t cancer.

The dermatologist said that whatever had been there was pretty much gone and it just needed to heal.  However, to be on the safe side, she was going to slice off a biopsy of the surrounding tissue and have it analyzed.

Had either health professional been as blasé about this as I had been for more than a year, it would never have been diagnosed.

*Side note – previously I had visited doctors for various leg, shoulder and other body ailments, which ended in a “there’s nothing there” diagnosis.  So rather than waste time, pay the co-pay and be poked and prodded, I chose to ignore and wait for the healing to begin.  All this despite my wife telling me for a year, “You should really have that thing checked out.”

A few days after the biopsy the call came and the rest is 2004 Boston Red Sox World Series history.

In a weird spin away from normal major league baseball, I’m hoping I don’t get called up to the majors again.

Take from this what you will.  I don’t think there’s a deep(er) message.  Maybe just don’t think you’re crying wolf even if in the past something was nothing.  This time it might be something, if nothing more than fried liver.

The Bar is So Low You Can Step Over It

This year it was my turn to get my driver’s license renewed.  As I sat there waiting to be processed, I was able to observe some interesting things.  What does getting a driver’s license renewal have to do with sports?  Let’s find out.

I saw what’s great about America; its diversity - people from all walks of life, all ages, all ethnic groups.  Not unlike baseball.  We have age diversity (Bryce Harper, age 19; Jamie Moyer, age 49).  We have Panamanians, Americans, Japanese, Dominican, Cubans and even White Sox.

One thing I couldn’t stand, aside from the waiting time, was that everything was dumbed down to the lowest common denominator.  Can’t understand someone telling you to wait in Line D?  Don’t worry, there’s a HUGE arrow leading you to a HUGE sign that says “D”.  Do we want the lowest common denominator driving a seven thousand pound vehicle?  My oldest daughter has yet to receive a B in school as she enters her sophomore year.  I’m not sure I want her on the roads.  And she’s intelligent.

I saw people bringing their children to the facility so the children could INTERPRET FOR THEIR PARENTS!!!  If you can’t speak the local language, I’m assuming you can’t READ the local language.  If you’re incapable of doing either, how can you drive safely?

In sports, especially children’s sports, everyone has to be included.  We’re not allowed to have just the best of the best or those deserving participate-win-succeed.  Hockey allows more than half their teams into the playoffs.  Basketball has eight teams in each conference get to the playoffs so many times the seventh and eighth seeds haven’t even won more games than they’ve lost.  In Major League Baseball, Bud Dumber has decided that more is more (which actually is less) in baseball by including another wild card team.  Supposed to create excitement or something.  In kid sports everyone receives a trophy nowadays – just for participating.

At the DMV, by allowing for interpreters, by having signs a second grader could follow, we are perpetuating the societal view that everyone should be allowed to do everything.

I have four children and that means that I am an expert on “The Incredibles”.  In the movie, the evil boy-genius has a plan of perfecting his “evil super powers”.  His ultimate goal is to give everyone super powers, because “if everyone is super, then no one is.”  That’s our society in a nutshell.

Everyone has trophies, certificates, driver’s licenses.  And if someone doesn’t, rather than encourage that person to raise his bar for achievement, society looks to lower the bar and find a way to create another category so that a certificate or trophy or license can be handed to that one unfortunate sole.

Look around you.  It’s everywhere.  The Mortgage Loan fiasco, while surely driven by greed and profit, could also be viewed as making sure everyone achieved the American Dream by owning a home way bigger than they need, whether they could afford it (deserved it) or not.

An argument could be made that Baseball’s Hall of Fame is getting to be the same way.  Statistically it still is home to the fewest members of the major sports.  But major leaguers with good careers are making it into the Hall.  But that’s another blog for another day.

California Dreamin'

For those of you loyal Monroe Doctrine subscribers, and this posting is dedicated to one in particular, you may recall that I was amazed we had received hits from all over the WORLD, yes I said WORLD.  (Monroe Doctrine, May 17, 2011 “The World is Warming Up to the Monroe Doctrine)  I couldn’t believe that anyone outside of the league would tap into our little fantasy life and so I figured the furthest interest would be North Carolina, home of the four-time champion Ruffins.

Again, I am amazed at the ability of the internet to make the world smaller.  In the last two months alone we have had hits from (I’m not making this up) Kiev, Kyyiv, Ukraine; Wichita, KS; Eden Prairie, MN; Russian Federation; Pordenone, Friuli-Venezia Giulia, Italy (Hi Dave on sabbatical!); Oakland, CA; Milpitas, CA; Buffalo, NY, San Francisco, CA (Hi Matt on vacation!); and four visits from a friend in Mountain View, CA.  I say a “friend” because Mountain View, CA has long been tapping in to the silliness of our league.  I always wondered what could be so interesting about a fantasy baseball league in the suburbs of Chicago that someone on the other side of the country would keep coming back.  So in true Monroe Doctrine form, we decided to find out.  Also true to form, we didn’t bother ourselves with actually interviewing Mountain View, CA, so what follows will no doubt be news to them as well as to you.

MD:  So who are you exactly?

MV:  If it’s all right with you, I would prefer not to use my name.  For reasons that should be obvious, consistently tapping in to a Fantasy Baseball Newsletter is not something I want my friends and neighbors to know about.  You can call me Mountain View.

MD:  Fair enough.  Let’s start there.  Tell us about Mountain View.

MV: In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m not in Mountain View, California.  That apparently is where my Internet hub is located.  Until I am convinced that the CFCL and Monroe Doctrine is not a shell front for some organized stalking organization, let’s keep working on the assumption that I’m in Mountain View.  With that being said, Mountain View is a beautiful bedroom community at the south end of the San Francisco Bay.  We’re close enough to get to either a Giant or A’s game in a matter of minutes, but far enough way that even in his most steroid-hopped-up-stupor Barry Bonds couldn’t reach us with a homerun.

MD:  What brought you to our humble publication?

MV:  Oh just general Internet searching about baseball related articles.  The Monroe Doctrine was listed in one of the results lists and I was intrigued.

MD:  What has brought you back?

MV:  There’s a certain je ne sais crois.  And let me tell you, most Californians don’t understand that phrase.  Call it whimsy, call it variety, call it Midwestern home spun Americana.  I check in every week or two to see if there’s something new that’s worth reading.  As much as I’ve enjoyed past articles I will say it would be nice if you stepped it up a bit.

MD:  Point taken.  Do you participate in fantasy baseball?

MV:  I do.  I guess I was hoping for some insight on players to acquire, winning strategies, etc.  But considering you haven’t had a winning season since 2002 I may be looking under the wrong streetlight.  On an unrelated topic, does The Professor write a baseball blog?

MD:  Ahem, he has written many politically insightful articles, but to date I believe he was steered clear of baseball.  How long have you been involved in fantasy baseball?

MV:  A couple of years.  I understand one of your owners is commissioner of a league based here in California.  Amazing dedication to fly halfway across the country to draft ballplayers you’ll never meet.

MD:  Agreed.  Not to toot our own horn, but that’s one of the amazing qualities about the CFCL.  We currently have three owners that make it a point to travel in from other states to attend the draft, live and in person.

MV:  That is amazing.  Now more about me.  When I go to games I tend to go to A’s games.  When I attend a Giants game, I’ll cheer for whomever they are playing.

MD:  Why is that?  Are you more American League than National League?

MV:  Not at all.  National League is in my DNA.  I just can’t stand the Giants.  The park is beautiful, but between Baker’s managing, Bonds, Kent and a few others, I just can’t stand the Giants.  I’m more of a Dodgers fan.

MD:  Fascinating.  It’s almost like the teams never left the burroughs of New York.  Any last comments?

MV:  Thanks for the shout out.  Now leave it alone.  I feel like I’m going to see some dork in a CFCL hat peering in my window some evening.  If so, you’ll have to change the name of your league to the Clandestine Following Creeper League.

Inspired by Youth

As much as I try to be consistent with my entries for the Monroe Doctrine, this year has been especially challenging.  The benefit of having active children is that they are active and there is a lot of chasing around to do.  That and having a job that will pay for the effort, but takes time away from writing also bites into trying to be creative.  So I have had to find my moments to be inspired to write.  Last night (or should I say, this morning) I was so inspired.

While the kids were waking up this morning I flipped on the MLB Network to see what I missed last night.  Of the games that were played, I knew that the Nationals beat the Marlins.  Seems Ozzie and Crew are having a hard time finding their feet and establishing their loyal fan base.  But what I didn’t know was how the Nationals beat the Marlins.  Turns out the how was Bryce Harper.  All of 19 years old and he is playing like he is from another planet.

He hit a single to left-center and because he was hustling out of the batter’s box, taking nothing for granted (note to Aramis Ramirez – this is how you play baseball) he took second when the outfielder bobbled the ball.  Then while on second he noticed that the pitcher had not called timeout and the shortstop and thirdbaseman were huddled on the grass between the mound and the base path.  Cool as a cucumber Harper got a walking start and then bolted for third, arriving before Hanley Ramirez could cover and before the pitcher had a chance to throw.  For good measure he made a diving catch running in from centerfield later in the game.

I may never own Harper in our fantasy league (CFCL – coming soon a Facebook page to “like” as the CFCL turns 30 next season) or at least at a price that is affordable.  But I will enjoy watching him.  At 19 he’s already won the respect of the veterans in his clubhouse.  He plays hard and has been named to an All-Star team.  At this point, anyway, he’s a good guy, dedicated and respects the game.  The type of guy you want on your team.  A guy like Jason Heyward.  Solid human being who also happens to be a pretty good baseball player.

And that’s why Ryan Braun will never darken the door of the Rebels clubhouse.  He cheated, he lied and he manipulated the system.  This year he’s putting up phenomenal numbers and I would hope anyone with a brain would understand that there’s a good chance he’s not doing it naturally.  He’s just immune since he beat the system.

Harper may not remain in the current light.  He has had moments that were less than stellar.  While he was in the minors last year he hit a homerun and blew kisses to the pitcher while circling the bases.  When I read that I figured this was another punk player that was believing his press clippings – press clippings that include a feature length article on him while he was fourteen (!).  But then I heard some perspective.  First of all, there was a little backstory to why Harper did what he did, I don’t recall the details.  And then I heard a guy on the radio say that while it wasn’t great behavior, it was the action of an 18 year old.  Think back to when you were 18.  If the worst thing you did was blow kisses to a pitcher after you hit a homerun, well, that’s not so bad.