So Monday night I had one of the best nights in a looong time. I surprised my 13 year old daughter, Kristi, with tickets to Pentatonix. If you don't know who Pentatonix is, shame on you. Go to Youtube and be amazed.
On the way home - and this is an honest to God true story - we were recapping the concert and talking about "stuff". Somehow, the conversation went like this (and before I regale you, you need to understand that Kristi has become obsessed with playing "The Oregon Trail". Apparently it's a web based game that actually teaches the youth of America life skills like critical thinking and money management.)
On the drive home we passed a building with the letters NSA on them. So Kristi makes the comment that the government is in that building, watching our every move. "If you didn't already know, I am totally anti-government," she said. Yeah, I had a feeling. So I made a comment about her removing herself from society and living alone.
"My goal," she said in response, "is to have a covered wagon led by oxen and go on The Oregon Trail to . . . Oregon." (I SWEAR to you this conversation really took place).
I responded "Well, that would certainly get you on the news as they follow you across the country on your way to Oregon."
"I would have my oxen scare off the reporters so they would leave me alone," Kristi said.
And from there I decided to verbally imagine what the news report would sound like.
Carol (in the studio) - We now go live to Bob who is following a story somewhere out west.
Bob (on location) - Thank you Carol! We are following a covered wagon led by a team of oxen. The driver's name is Kristi and it appears that she is headed toward a remote cabin in Oregon where she will be meeting up with her followers - Kristi-ites.
*Kristi (in the car) starts laughing out loud with the occasional "oh my god" thrown in*
Carol - Bob, have you been able to ask Kristi what her intentions are?
Bob - Not exactly. Every time we approach her she gives her oxen a command in some foreign tongue that causes the oxen to begin to attack us. We're not sure what language she's using, we've taken to calling it Kristiphonics. I think she created the language so only she can communicate with the oxen.
*Kristi (in the car) narrowly misses hitting her head on the dashboard as she doubles over in laughter. Don't call DCFS, this is NOT my fault!*
Bob - We are currently in Montana. It looks like she will be passing through the tall stick part of Idaho where she will pick up a few potatoes for her, her oxen and the Kristi-ites and then make her way to the remote cabin in Oregon.
Carol - Bob! This is an amazing story! How do you know her destination is Oregon?
Bob - Well, Carol, we have an advance team of reporters that have spotted the remote cabin, largely because the Kristi-ites are sitting in a field, holding their cellphones aloft with the flashlight feature on, creating a large luminescent bon fire for Kristi and the oxen to drive towards. As they await their leader's arrival, they are humming and singing, a cappella, a Kumbuya type of song in their Kristiphonics communication.
*Kristi (in the car) gasping for breath, holding her hands over her mouth to prevent spitting while laughing*
Carol - Bob, do you or the advance team appear to be in any danger?
Bob - Carol we haven't been attacked - aside from the surly oxen - if that's what you mean. Though we do have reports from the government that they are concerned that Kristi is transporting many years worth of munitions to fortify herself and the Kristi-ites as they plan to establish what we have now learned to be a new religion of goat worship. Apparently they are establishing "Goatism" where in they meet on the second Tuesday of every June. They need to keep it simple because, well, goats are simple.
*Kristi - there may have been a snort*
Carol - Bob, for the love of god . . . or goat, please be careful and report back to us if you hear anything new.
Bob - Thank you Carol. We're keeping an eye on things. Back to you in the studio.
Friday, March 13, 2015
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Ice Hogs And What They Teach Us
Boy, it's been a while since a new Monroe Doctrine has been posted. I've found that going through a divorce can really sap all creative strength from a person. So here's an attempt to get back into the swing of things and rather than hit the ground running with baseball, I figured I would ease myself back in with, of all things, hockey.
Admittedly I am a fair weather, bandwagon jumping fan of hockey. Didn't care much about it until the Blackhawks won the first of their two recent Stanley Cups. That sparked an interest.
So while trying to find something fun and different to do with the kids last weekend I took them to Rockford, IL to see the Ice Hogs (minor league affiliate to the Blackhawks). I was impressed. The way the Ice Hogs handled their pre, during and post game stuff reminded me of the Kane County Cougars for minor league baseball. It was fun, it was professional and it was cost effective.
My kids (three girls and a boy) seemed to view our excursion as a punishment rather than an adventure. The older two girls absolutely wanted nothing to do with this, but they went anyway.
While the Ice Hogs put on a great game and won 3-0, for the kids the entertainment seemed to be more in the stands. Directly in front of us was a young boy who would alternate his attention between the action on the ice and his hand held electronic device. My son (age 7) was yelling at the players (from the second to last row of the stadium) "Get it to number 28! Oh man, 28 was open! Why didn't you pass it to him?!"
That caused the boy in front of him to comment "They should pass it to 57." My son responded "Well, that is a very good suggestion!" At which point my son leaned to me and said "Papa, I have a new best friend."
Watching this exchange caused my 13 and 15 year old daughters to absolutely crack up to the point of near tears as the banter between the boys continued throughout the game. That coupled with my son's efforts to get on the video screen by dancing wildly to the music during the time outs was more entertaining that anything American Idol can produce.
It's obvious my son understands the nuances of hockey because part way through the second period he asked "Hey, when are they going to start fighting?" I explained that these players don't make much money and probably get fined if they fight.
My oldest daughter wasn't as impressed with the Ice Hogs. Based on the play she was observing she couldn't understand how any of these guys were going to be called up to the Blackhawks any time soon. Her standards for hockey play are pretty high.
Another interesting and telling moment during the game was when the audio people tried to get the crowd amped up. There is a tradition for them to play "Monee, monee". Now in the clubs, I think we're all aware of the part of the song where people will yell out about the opportunity to have some entertaining nocturnal activity. When they started playing the song in the stadium, I cringed thinking my kids were going to hear this. Instead the crowd is conditioned to another response. It took me a few times through to understand what the crowd was yelling, but I finally got it. Both my 13 and 17 year olds asked what the crowd was yelling. I said it's "Hey, guess what? You're goalie sucks!" Upon hearing that my 13 year old said "Aw that's just mean."
I took them to see the Ice Hogs because they had never been to a live hockey game. And while the game was entertaining and the Ice Hogs do it up right, sitting in the stands I observed more about my kids' personalities than I did about a hockey game. It was awesome.
Admittedly I am a fair weather, bandwagon jumping fan of hockey. Didn't care much about it until the Blackhawks won the first of their two recent Stanley Cups. That sparked an interest.
So while trying to find something fun and different to do with the kids last weekend I took them to Rockford, IL to see the Ice Hogs (minor league affiliate to the Blackhawks). I was impressed. The way the Ice Hogs handled their pre, during and post game stuff reminded me of the Kane County Cougars for minor league baseball. It was fun, it was professional and it was cost effective.
My kids (three girls and a boy) seemed to view our excursion as a punishment rather than an adventure. The older two girls absolutely wanted nothing to do with this, but they went anyway.
While the Ice Hogs put on a great game and won 3-0, for the kids the entertainment seemed to be more in the stands. Directly in front of us was a young boy who would alternate his attention between the action on the ice and his hand held electronic device. My son (age 7) was yelling at the players (from the second to last row of the stadium) "Get it to number 28! Oh man, 28 was open! Why didn't you pass it to him?!"
That caused the boy in front of him to comment "They should pass it to 57." My son responded "Well, that is a very good suggestion!" At which point my son leaned to me and said "Papa, I have a new best friend."
Watching this exchange caused my 13 and 15 year old daughters to absolutely crack up to the point of near tears as the banter between the boys continued throughout the game. That coupled with my son's efforts to get on the video screen by dancing wildly to the music during the time outs was more entertaining that anything American Idol can produce.
It's obvious my son understands the nuances of hockey because part way through the second period he asked "Hey, when are they going to start fighting?" I explained that these players don't make much money and probably get fined if they fight.
My oldest daughter wasn't as impressed with the Ice Hogs. Based on the play she was observing she couldn't understand how any of these guys were going to be called up to the Blackhawks any time soon. Her standards for hockey play are pretty high.
Another interesting and telling moment during the game was when the audio people tried to get the crowd amped up. There is a tradition for them to play "Monee, monee". Now in the clubs, I think we're all aware of the part of the song where people will yell out about the opportunity to have some entertaining nocturnal activity. When they started playing the song in the stadium, I cringed thinking my kids were going to hear this. Instead the crowd is conditioned to another response. It took me a few times through to understand what the crowd was yelling, but I finally got it. Both my 13 and 17 year olds asked what the crowd was yelling. I said it's "Hey, guess what? You're goalie sucks!" Upon hearing that my 13 year old said "Aw that's just mean."
I took them to see the Ice Hogs because they had never been to a live hockey game. And while the game was entertaining and the Ice Hogs do it up right, sitting in the stands I observed more about my kids' personalities than I did about a hockey game. It was awesome.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Happy 100th Wrigley!!
So Wednesday (4/23) was
the 100th birthday for Wrigley Field. The Cubs organization decided to celebrate,
in part, by bringing back a few former Cubs.
I didn’t pay close attention to all the festivities since it was a day
game and I had other commitments to attend to during the day.
I did notice they lost (natch) and I did see a picture posted on FaceBook showing Ferguson Jenkins, Ernie Banks, Billy Williams, Randy Hundley and Andre Dawson on the field. Kind of cool. Except Jenkins, Banks and Williams are ALWAYS at Wrigley.
400th anniversary of the organ Frank Pelico played? Jenkins, Banks, Williams.
Lights for the first time at Wrigley? Jenkins, Banks, Williams.
Special Celebration Day for Ron Santo NOT making the Hall of Fame (again)? Jenkins, Banks, Williams.
There were missing players and personnel. One that was not missing was the jackass that wore #21 for 13 years. All day long on sports talk radio the following day was the great debate as to whether Sammy Sosa deserved to be invited back.
NO!!! That arrogant, roided-up, corked bat sorry excuse for an outfielder does not need to be invited back to Wrigley. I may be in the minority on this one as other may say “Let by-gones be by-gones.” I can’t do that. In fact, I have a relatively comprehensive list of players who should have been invited back well before Senor Sosa.
Bill Buckner – He was (and still is) my all-time favorite Cub. Growing up watching him waggle his bat in the lefthand batter’s box right before he laced another double to the gap was a joy.
Dave Kingman – For two years I loved watching him hit homer for the Cubs rather than against them. Yes, he spent “Dave Kingman Day” on his boat on Lake Michigan rather than at Wrigley Field. And he gave a reporter a shoe box with a dead rat in it, but he still deserves to come back before Sosa.
Steve Bartman – This is a no-brainer. The only problem is had he come back, then the story was Bartman and not the 100th birthday of Wrigley. But Bartman needs to be invited (and he needs to accept) looooong before Sosa is addressed.
Ed Lynch – Understand I HATE (REALLY HATE) Ed Lynch. He massively sucked as the Cubs GM and he may have been a better GM for the Cubs than he was a pitcher.
Larry Himes – Was integral in having our future Hall of Fame secondbaseman retire (for the first time) too early. And yet I would invite him back before SS.
Steve Ontiveros – Spokesman for the hair replacement company while he was “patrolling” thirdbase. Still don’t forgive him for ending the magical game against the Phillies the Cubs lost 23-22. His weakass, game-ending groundout ruined any chance for another comeback.
Lee Elia – Give him an open mike and a seven second delay.
Dallas Green – Architect of 1984. Where was he on Wednesday?
Dusty Baker – Absolutely ruined our chance for glory in 2003 and yet I would rather see him walk on to the field to celebrate than Sosa.
Andy Pafko – Is he still alive? If so, he should have been there.
Mick Kelleher – He hit 545 fewer homeruns than Sosa as a Cub. He should have been there to make the girls swoon once again.
Andy McPhail – Couldn’t do much right for the Cubs after taking the Twinkies to the Promised Land twice.
Anyone, anyone would be better than Sosa. Milton Bradley, Michael Barrett, Carlos Zambrano, Roy Smalley who never met an error he didn’t like.
I did notice they lost (natch) and I did see a picture posted on FaceBook showing Ferguson Jenkins, Ernie Banks, Billy Williams, Randy Hundley and Andre Dawson on the field. Kind of cool. Except Jenkins, Banks and Williams are ALWAYS at Wrigley.
400th anniversary of the organ Frank Pelico played? Jenkins, Banks, Williams.
Lights for the first time at Wrigley? Jenkins, Banks, Williams.
Special Celebration Day for Ron Santo NOT making the Hall of Fame (again)? Jenkins, Banks, Williams.
There were missing players and personnel. One that was not missing was the jackass that wore #21 for 13 years. All day long on sports talk radio the following day was the great debate as to whether Sammy Sosa deserved to be invited back.
NO!!! That arrogant, roided-up, corked bat sorry excuse for an outfielder does not need to be invited back to Wrigley. I may be in the minority on this one as other may say “Let by-gones be by-gones.” I can’t do that. In fact, I have a relatively comprehensive list of players who should have been invited back well before Senor Sosa.
Bill Buckner – He was (and still is) my all-time favorite Cub. Growing up watching him waggle his bat in the lefthand batter’s box right before he laced another double to the gap was a joy.
Dave Kingman – For two years I loved watching him hit homer for the Cubs rather than against them. Yes, he spent “Dave Kingman Day” on his boat on Lake Michigan rather than at Wrigley Field. And he gave a reporter a shoe box with a dead rat in it, but he still deserves to come back before Sosa.
Steve Bartman – This is a no-brainer. The only problem is had he come back, then the story was Bartman and not the 100th birthday of Wrigley. But Bartman needs to be invited (and he needs to accept) looooong before Sosa is addressed.
Ed Lynch – Understand I HATE (REALLY HATE) Ed Lynch. He massively sucked as the Cubs GM and he may have been a better GM for the Cubs than he was a pitcher.
Larry Himes – Was integral in having our future Hall of Fame secondbaseman retire (for the first time) too early. And yet I would invite him back before SS.
Steve Ontiveros – Spokesman for the hair replacement company while he was “patrolling” thirdbase. Still don’t forgive him for ending the magical game against the Phillies the Cubs lost 23-22. His weakass, game-ending groundout ruined any chance for another comeback.
Lee Elia – Give him an open mike and a seven second delay.
Dallas Green – Architect of 1984. Where was he on Wednesday?
Dusty Baker – Absolutely ruined our chance for glory in 2003 and yet I would rather see him walk on to the field to celebrate than Sosa.
Andy Pafko – Is he still alive? If so, he should have been there.
Mick Kelleher – He hit 545 fewer homeruns than Sosa as a Cub. He should have been there to make the girls swoon once again.
Andy McPhail – Couldn’t do much right for the Cubs after taking the Twinkies to the Promised Land twice.
Anyone, anyone would be better than Sosa. Milton Bradley, Michael Barrett, Carlos Zambrano, Roy Smalley who never met an error he didn’t like.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Draft Day 2014 - Recap
We also welcomed back some former owners who came by to help us celebrate the 30th anniversary. Kelly Barone (Six Packs), Paul Zeledon (Da Paul Meisters) and David Mahlan (David's Copperfields) all stopped by to shake hands and talk about memories. The fact that they would be willing to take time from their busy weekends to visit a fantasy baseball draft speaks volumes of their character. David came despite being heavily medicated to mask the pain of a kidney stone.
Once all the current owners were finally in place, we commenced with league business. We elected the Executive Committee. Usually there is a clear cut direction the league wants to go with their leadership. This year the voting was more diverse. The EC was established for 2014 with the election of: Tim Morkert (10 votes), Rich Bentel (9 votes), Nick Hansen (6 votes) and [alternate] Matt Bentel (4 votes). Also receiving votes were: Mike Bentel (2 votes), Matt Grage (1 vote), and Pat Chesnut (1 vote).
The CFCL also welcomed a new franchise. Stranger Danger resigned at the close of the 2013 season. Hey Patta Matta Swing (The Swing) was offered the franchise and took to it like a fish to water. Pat Chesnut and Matthew Barriball (childhood friends of the owners of the Twin Killers) joined the CFCL in December and threw themselves into ownership with a ferocious passion.
At 1:30pm the Ruffins began the draft with the Ruffin Privilege, nominating 2013 NL MVP Andrew McCutchen. Annnd we were off to the races. Walking into the draft Kenndoza Line had the most money to spend per player (over .20!!!) and figured to be the odds on favorite to snag any player they wanted. Little did they know that when it came to McCutchen, there were a couple of other owners who had a strong opinion. Morkertzuma's Revenge and Dem Rebels also coveted the Pittsburgh centerfielder and had money burning a hole in their pockets. The bidding was fast and furious. Once it reached .48 the Revenge thought better of things and dropped out. So the Line and Rebels were in a showdown that reached near record proportions. When the Rebels unbelievably said "Fifty-five", the Line came to their senses and flipped their card over.
The table let out a collective breath as they saw the Rebels spend 42% of their budget on the first player in the draft. As if that wasn't enough, the next player ** nominated was Matt Harvey. Matt Harvey who is currently recovering from Tommy John surgery and isn't expected to pitch until the second half of the season at the earliest.
** Usually (usually) in the CFCL draft, the first two rounds of players nominated are players that will command high salaries. Some owners nominate these players to try and suck out a lot of money from their fellow owners. Others will do it because the high priced players are well known and they (the owners) know that if they nominate a player, they won't get stuck with that player unless they really want him and if they don't get the player, it fills up a roster spot on an opponent.
Mike Bentel of the Twin Killers saw an opportunity and took the first step to owning the first round of the draft by outlasting all other owners on Harvey (11 cents). That was the first of five players the Killers acquired in the first round (Harvey, Adam Wainwright, Pablo Sandoval, Curtis Granderson and Brandon Phillips).
One of the interesting players entering the 2014 draft was Ryan Braun. Caught cheating twice (!!) using steroids by Major League Baseball, no one knew how he would be viewed by the owners of the CFCL. Would they want a proven cheater on their team? If so, what type of production could they expect? What would they be willing to pay? Were they concerned that Braun might try to cheat (and get caught) a third time? We found out the answer quickly as Braun was the third player nominated Saturday. The Kenndoza Line, having been outspent on McCutchen, made a huge statement by spending .49 on Braun.
The rest of the day progressed as drafts usually do. A surprise nomination creates an earlier than expected penny player (this year it was Dem Rebels nominating Randall Delgado). Around the sixth or eighth round we were fortunate enough to have CFCL Founder David Mahlan stop by and reprise his role of League Photographer (photos to follow in a subsequent post).
The draft ended with the newest team, The Swing, selecting seven penny players in a row. Despite all the pomp and circumstance involved with the 30th anniversary celebration, we were able to complete the auction portion of our draft in a snappy 5 hours.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Pittsburgh vs. Cincinnati
Ok, it's been a while since I've contributed to the Monroe Doctrine. Usually I try to post something no less than weekly. But with my efforts to have daily updates celebrating the CFCL Turning 30, I have been extremely lax with the Monroe Doctrine.
Until today. Feeling compelled to post because of the NL Wildcard Game tonight between the Pirates and the Reds. First of all, I abhor the current playoff system. Major League Baseball (or Bud-dumber Selig) want there to be an exciting "playoff race" in September, but then do everything in their power to get rid of the teams that provided such excitement. Rather than have a Best of 3 or Best of 5, it's a winner take all Wild Card Showdown. Fine, there may be some excitement there, but for the loser it's 162 games to basically play an exhibition and go home.
But that's what we have for now. So I look at Pittsburgh vs. Cincinnati and think "C'MON PITTSBURGH!!!" Why? I'm a Cubs fan, so why would I care deeply about who wins this game. Well if the Cubs didn't exist, even though I'm in Chicago, I would be a Pittsburgh fan. Let's breakdown the good and bad of the Pirates and Reds.
PIRATES GOOD
Until today. Feeling compelled to post because of the NL Wildcard Game tonight between the Pirates and the Reds. First of all, I abhor the current playoff system. Major League Baseball (or Bud-dumber Selig) want there to be an exciting "playoff race" in September, but then do everything in their power to get rid of the teams that provided such excitement. Rather than have a Best of 3 or Best of 5, it's a winner take all Wild Card Showdown. Fine, there may be some excitement there, but for the loser it's 162 games to basically play an exhibition and go home.
But that's what we have for now. So I look at Pittsburgh vs. Cincinnati and think "C'MON PITTSBURGH!!!" Why? I'm a Cubs fan, so why would I care deeply about who wins this game. Well if the Cubs didn't exist, even though I'm in Chicago, I would be a Pittsburgh fan. Let's breakdown the good and bad of the Pirates and Reds.
PIRATES GOOD
- Andrew McCutchen - Amazingly talented player who, if his facebook page and posts can be believed, is committed to his community and life outside of baseball.
- PNC Park - I've never been, but from what I've seen on TV it is the best park in all of baseball. Yes - I realize the Cubs play at Wrigley.
- Roberto Clemente, Willie Stargell, Dave Parker, Honus Wagner. Wonderful, wonderful player history.
- Roberto Clemente Bridge. Painted yellow and shut down on game days/nights for fans to use to access the park.
- Pittsburgh itself - Home of the Steelers and a true blue collar work ethic.
- We Are Family - 1979, a great season.
- They employed Barry Bonds. However, this was the pre-Juiced-Cheater Bonds. This was the Bonds that everyone says was a Hall of Famer before he creamed and cleared his way to a fake homerun title.
- 20 years of losing. Well that's over, but it sure did take a long time to win more games than they lost.
- Notice I'm starting with the bad things about the Reds? I really don't like the organization.
- Marty Brenneman. This may be a bit personal, but he decided to take shots at Cub fans. Can't remember why. I'll admit a lot of Cub fans are idiots, but Marty - focus on the damn game. You and Hawk Harrelson should realize your job is to report on the game and not try to be a personality of it. Need an example? See Vin Scully. Oh and teach your son how to talk like a normal human being. That fake announcer voice he uses for baseball and football is really stupid.
- Joe Morgan, Johnny Bench, Pete Rose. Yes, great players. Also great egotists that think they are better than the game (Rose) or that they are the game (Morgan).
- Dusty Baker - this one probably should have been listed #1 on my list. Still can't believe he didn't have the bullpen up and going in Game 6, 2003 NLCS. Took great happiness in watching his Reds win the first two against the Giants last year and then tank three in a row a home. God that is sooo Dusty.
- Their fans. Many of their fans are arrogant, pains in the asses. That could probably be said for many or all ML teams. I just really don't like Cincinnati.
- There's only two things I can think of. Great American Ballpark. Not as great as PNC, but it's on the river and you can watch the barges float back and forth during a game. Took the family there for Cubs vs. Reds back in 2008. Really nice park.
- People of Cincinnati. Very pleasant and kind. Couldn't be nicer trying to help some out of towners find their way around the city.
- WKRP in Cincinnati. Johnny Fever, Venus Flytrap, Les Nessman. The whole crew. Awesome show but not enough to sway me to cheer for the Reds.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Exhilaration and Disappointment All Rolled Into One
July 6, 2013
– The day I finally fulfilled part of my parental responsibility by taking the
kids to Wrigley Field. I have to give
credit where it’s due. Lady Kimberly
suggested and ordered the tickets.
Game time 3pm so we arrived around 12:30 to make sure we were one of the first 10,000 fans in the door to receive the Cubs T-Shirt giveaway courtesy of StubHub. Let me set the stage for a minute so the title of the post will become more clear as we move on. My wife and I took our four children to see the Cubs play at Wrigley. We have three daughters (ages 16, 13 and 12) and a son (age 5).
We waited for the gates to open, grabbed our T-Shirts and made our way to our seats. We sat in the Terrace Reserved section by first base. To get to the seats we had to walk up the ramps that are on the perimeter of the park. I knew what was coming at the top of the ramp so I slowed down, told my son who I was carrying to look to his left, and waited for any reaction from the kids at their first sight of Wrigley Field in person. My wife and I had the same reaction we always do. “Oh my god, there it is!” The kids admitted they didn’t quite reach that level, although they did like seeing it in person. They thought the field looked completely different than it does on TV.
We went to our seats and then I went to get everyone something to eat. I went down four ramps and a flight of stairs for the hotdogs and French fries. Carried it back up and then went back down four ramps and a flight of stairs to get the water and pop. Thankfully everything was 25% off since we arrived right after the gates opened.
Once we ate we took turns walking around taking tons and tons of pictures of the park and each other. Then we got settled in our seats and watched the ground crew get the field ready, spraying the water, replacing the bases, putting away the batting cages and laying down the batter’s boxes and foul lines. I told my girls to watch as the wooden rectangle was laid where the batter stands and then was struck eight or ten times with a pipe to release the chalk to make the boxes.
First pitch was 3pm (two and a half hours after we arrived) and the people in the two rows in front of us were already drunk. They weren’t abusive, they didn’t do anything that would embarrass my children, they were just drunk. They continually stood up and walked out to go to the bathroom and buy more beer. Each row must have stood up and left and come back at least seven times each. So rather than be able to see the game on the field, my kids had to look at the television monitors hanging above to see what was happening. When the people in front weren’t blocking our view, the posts supporting the upper deck blocked our view of home, thirdbase, rightfield or firstbase depending on which member of our family you asked. We couldn’t see the top of the scoreboard, the clock or the flags flying because of the luxury boxes hanging down from the upper deck. The seats, same seats I sat in when I was a kid, were tight. No arm room between us (good thing we’re a close family), no room to put our legs.
So with all that, the only time we left our seats from an hour before game time until the game ended at 6pm was when my five year old said he had to go to the bathroom in the 6th inning. Four ramps and a staircase down and up and fortunately we only missed a couple of batters. The idiots in front of us left their seats a combined dozen times at least.
That being said, Wrigley looked beautiful. Green carpet grass, ivy in full bloom. Cubs beat the first place Pirates 4-1 and Alfonso Soriano hit two home runs making my oldest daughter thrilled.
Being there with my wife and children was an amazing experience, almost as good as I had built up in my mind. But what I forgot about was the group of “fans” that show up to drink themselves into the concrete and not pay attention to the game. They go so later that night or the next day they can say “Yep, I was at Wrigley yesterday. It was awesome.” I doubt they could remember anything that happened.
As much as I love baseball, the Cubs and Wrigley Field, I’m not busy trying to arrange a return visit any time soon.
Game time 3pm so we arrived around 12:30 to make sure we were one of the first 10,000 fans in the door to receive the Cubs T-Shirt giveaway courtesy of StubHub. Let me set the stage for a minute so the title of the post will become more clear as we move on. My wife and I took our four children to see the Cubs play at Wrigley. We have three daughters (ages 16, 13 and 12) and a son (age 5).
We waited for the gates to open, grabbed our T-Shirts and made our way to our seats. We sat in the Terrace Reserved section by first base. To get to the seats we had to walk up the ramps that are on the perimeter of the park. I knew what was coming at the top of the ramp so I slowed down, told my son who I was carrying to look to his left, and waited for any reaction from the kids at their first sight of Wrigley Field in person. My wife and I had the same reaction we always do. “Oh my god, there it is!” The kids admitted they didn’t quite reach that level, although they did like seeing it in person. They thought the field looked completely different than it does on TV.
We went to our seats and then I went to get everyone something to eat. I went down four ramps and a flight of stairs for the hotdogs and French fries. Carried it back up and then went back down four ramps and a flight of stairs to get the water and pop. Thankfully everything was 25% off since we arrived right after the gates opened.
Once we ate we took turns walking around taking tons and tons of pictures of the park and each other. Then we got settled in our seats and watched the ground crew get the field ready, spraying the water, replacing the bases, putting away the batting cages and laying down the batter’s boxes and foul lines. I told my girls to watch as the wooden rectangle was laid where the batter stands and then was struck eight or ten times with a pipe to release the chalk to make the boxes.
First pitch was 3pm (two and a half hours after we arrived) and the people in the two rows in front of us were already drunk. They weren’t abusive, they didn’t do anything that would embarrass my children, they were just drunk. They continually stood up and walked out to go to the bathroom and buy more beer. Each row must have stood up and left and come back at least seven times each. So rather than be able to see the game on the field, my kids had to look at the television monitors hanging above to see what was happening. When the people in front weren’t blocking our view, the posts supporting the upper deck blocked our view of home, thirdbase, rightfield or firstbase depending on which member of our family you asked. We couldn’t see the top of the scoreboard, the clock or the flags flying because of the luxury boxes hanging down from the upper deck. The seats, same seats I sat in when I was a kid, were tight. No arm room between us (good thing we’re a close family), no room to put our legs.
So with all that, the only time we left our seats from an hour before game time until the game ended at 6pm was when my five year old said he had to go to the bathroom in the 6th inning. Four ramps and a staircase down and up and fortunately we only missed a couple of batters. The idiots in front of us left their seats a combined dozen times at least.
That being said, Wrigley looked beautiful. Green carpet grass, ivy in full bloom. Cubs beat the first place Pirates 4-1 and Alfonso Soriano hit two home runs making my oldest daughter thrilled.
Being there with my wife and children was an amazing experience, almost as good as I had built up in my mind. But what I forgot about was the group of “fans” that show up to drink themselves into the concrete and not pay attention to the game. They go so later that night or the next day they can say “Yep, I was at Wrigley yesterday. It was awesome.” I doubt they could remember anything that happened.
As much as I love baseball, the Cubs and Wrigley Field, I’m not busy trying to arrange a return visit any time soon.
Monday, June 3, 2013
It's Awesome Being 5
Our little
guy is about to turn six. As he finishes
up his time being five I take a step back to, if not look through his eyes, at
least view him from a wide angle lens.
Since this is a baseball-themed blog, here are the baseball connections. We named him Cooper Wrigley (for Cooperstown
and Wrigley Field – no I did not have to get my wife drunk to agree to this, it
was her idea). We have him signed up for
soccer and t-ball. And now I bring you
the joys of being five.
** During his last game of soccer he was doing well dribbling the ball and scored a goal. Then just before the game ended with the action right by him he stretched out his arms parallel to the ground and started spinning around. The ball rolled right past him and all the other players ran to the other end of the field while he twirled around. After the game I asked him what he was doing. He said, somewhat exasperatedly, “Papa (I love it that he calls me Papa), I was a Ninja Turtle! I was fighting off the bad guys.”
** He will out of nowhere identify if a day is great or not. “Papa? When I get home can I have marshmallows?” When I say yes he responds in an excited voice “This is the best day ever!”
** At 11pm when we’re trying to get him to relax and fall asleep he’ll ask “I want something to eat. Can I have a hotdog?”
** Occasionally when he’s done doing his thing in the bathroom he’ll walk down the hallway naked from the waist down. I’ll say “Dude, where are your clothes?” He will look down, embarrassingly smile and say “Whoops! I forgot!” and run back into the bathroom.
** While my wife and I are in the kitchen making dinner he will walk up to us and let out a roar. We’ll ask “Are you a monster?” He will look at us like we must be nuts and say “No! I’m a Seratops! (triceratops)”
** He has embraced the music of my wife (Maroon 5) as well as myself (Straight No Chaser) and happily sings along to both whenever we drive along in the car.
** His video and television tastes range from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers to Strawberry Shortcake and My Little Pony.
** While watching those videos he can be laying quiet as you please on the couch when all of a sudden he will leap up and race around the family room and kitchen acting out a chase scene or race or battle on the screen.
** And at the end of a long day, he will come over, push my leg down that’s crossed over the other one, climb up on me, put his head on my chest and say “I want you to hold me.”
** During his last game of soccer he was doing well dribbling the ball and scored a goal. Then just before the game ended with the action right by him he stretched out his arms parallel to the ground and started spinning around. The ball rolled right past him and all the other players ran to the other end of the field while he twirled around. After the game I asked him what he was doing. He said, somewhat exasperatedly, “Papa (I love it that he calls me Papa), I was a Ninja Turtle! I was fighting off the bad guys.”
** He will out of nowhere identify if a day is great or not. “Papa? When I get home can I have marshmallows?” When I say yes he responds in an excited voice “This is the best day ever!”
** At 11pm when we’re trying to get him to relax and fall asleep he’ll ask “I want something to eat. Can I have a hotdog?”
** Occasionally when he’s done doing his thing in the bathroom he’ll walk down the hallway naked from the waist down. I’ll say “Dude, where are your clothes?” He will look down, embarrassingly smile and say “Whoops! I forgot!” and run back into the bathroom.
** While my wife and I are in the kitchen making dinner he will walk up to us and let out a roar. We’ll ask “Are you a monster?” He will look at us like we must be nuts and say “No! I’m a Seratops! (triceratops)”
** He has embraced the music of my wife (Maroon 5) as well as myself (Straight No Chaser) and happily sings along to both whenever we drive along in the car.
** His video and television tastes range from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers to Strawberry Shortcake and My Little Pony.
** While watching those videos he can be laying quiet as you please on the couch when all of a sudden he will leap up and race around the family room and kitchen acting out a chase scene or race or battle on the screen.
** And at the end of a long day, he will come over, push my leg down that’s crossed over the other one, climb up on me, put his head on my chest and say “I want you to hold me.”
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