The Oswego Panther Soccer Club hosted a tournament this Memorial Day weekend. Being the helpful sort and dedicated parents, Kim and I volunteered our services. Getting a break on next year’s fees increased our helpfulness, though not our dedication. We both took parking duty.
I led off with the early shift on Saturday and Sunday. I came to realize you can really learn a lot about people simply waving them to a parking spot.
I learned that some people are genuinely nice. They smile and wave as you direct them to their spot.
And some are asses, complaining about the distance of the parking slot to their child’s soccer field. The longest distance anyone had to walk was a few hundred yards, but that didn’t stop people from trying to negotiate special parking privileges.
I learned that some idiots, I mean parents felt the need to drive 45 miles an hour, two feet from the car ahead of them because either 1) they’re late for the game or 2) they’re tired of sitting in line to get a parking spot. Folks, when your team is one of 146 participants, you have to expect there to be other people arriving and therefore there will be some delays.
I learned that if you’re young and beautiful you get some perks. I say that because when I started my shift on Saturday morning I was loaded in an oversized golf cart, taken to a parking area and dropped off. No instructions on where to put the cars, etc. That’s ok. I’m a college graduate. I can identify the parking pattern and direct people in. But then right after my shift ended, my wife Kim (the young and beautiful that I mentioned above) arrived to do her shift. She texted me that she (and my oldest daughter Katelyn) were placed at a corner to make sure people DIDN’T park in a particular private lot. She was issued a reflective vest AND was given a radio!!! A vest and radio! I got a grass lot with gnats and no instructions. I learned a grass lot is what you get when you’re not young and beautiful.
And I learned that to be a serious, devoted soccer parent there are requirements. You must own an extra large vehicle. Minivans are standard but if you could own an offensively large SUV that would be even better.
Once you arrive at the soccer game you are not ready for the game (and let’s face it, not a worthy parent) if you do not have the following supplies: Cooler loaded down with plenty of drinks and snacks – don’t forget, this game is going to last an hour, you wouldn’t want to deprive yourself; at least three parachute chairs; a popup extra large umbrella to provide shade from the sun for an hour or protect you from any rain; a couple of extra soccer balls if for no other reason than so that they can roll wildly down the parking aisles as other cars are trying to park; a plastic Red Flyer Wagon to carry all of this; and please don’t forget the cell phone. You’re not a serious soccer parent if you’re not weaving down the parking aisle pulling the wagon behind you with one arm while the other has the cell phone plastered to your ear as you exclaim “I know right? So where are you? OH! I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE! You’ll want to take (insert name of local road) and turn left. The field is right there. Can you park next to us? We have the oversized SUV taking up three stalls, so we should be easy to find.”
And I learned that since the soccer games take an hour, the parents with the offensively large SUVs have no idea what takes place in the parking lot after they walk out – not that I exercised that new piece of education.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Third Time's A Charm - Running With The Wolves
The Trilogy is now
complete. The 3rd Annual
Running of the Wolves 5K took place Sunday morning, May 6th.
Having run in the first two I
needed something special for the 3rd. While I didn’t entirely embarrass myself in
the first two runnings, I did run slower the second year compared to the
first. I needed to reverse that
trend. It’s time to get serious. First thing I needed was a little divine intervention
and found it at the race registration.
The stars were in alignment as I
was assigned #25 for the race (as opposed to Sosa’s #21 last year) - obviously paying tribute to former
Cub and my favorite - Derrek Lee.
This would certainly send me off
in the right direction to better my time of 35:12 last year (one minute, 4 seconds
slower than my inaugural race). But it wouldn’t
be enough, so to make sure I could last the entire race, I bulked up, weighing
in 15 pounds heavier than last year's race.
In retrospect, increasing weight for a distance race isn’t optimal, but
the Twix and Kit Kat were going down easy.
OK, Divine Intervention and
bulking up taken care of, what’s next?
Research! My co-worker Katie told
me about an article “The Couch-to-5K Running Plan” by Josh Clark. I trained by printing off the article.
Actually I didn't want to do too much too fast, so I had Katie print it off for me. I did read it though.
Well, actually I got winded a few paragraphs into it so I set it down but the
idea was solid.
Batting cleanup – science. Aerodynamics to be specific. I cut my hair one notch shorter than normal
to provide the sleek line. What I forgot at the time was that I wear a hat when I'm outdoors to protect my folically challenged dome from the sun. Aerodynamics may have been cancelled out by the bill of my cap (not to mention the sluggishness of my gait).
Since shoes make the runner, I
went out the week before and grabbed some comfortable Nikes that were on sale.
According to their designer, Nike shoes are guaranteed to not tear an ACL. I
needed all the help I could get.
And finally, like last year,
perhaps the most important piece of equipment is a fully charged IPod. I have found from the previous two 5Ks that
not only is the music uplifting and can set a nice pace, if you crank the
volume loud enough you can't hear your lungs wheeze and crackle. Tim McGraw took me out for the first half and
Straight No Chaser carried me home.
Did it work? Was I successful? Well, let’s define success. Did I better my two previous times? No. I
scorched the finish line at 36:23, coming in 5th in my age group.
Did I escape with injury? Definitely.
Just some stretched, tired leg muscles.
But no torn ACLs, slipped disks or high ankle sprains. On the extra high side, my daughter Ally won
a medal for finishing second in her age group and both she and my other
daughter Kristi knocked five minutes off their times from last year.
And in the end, that’s what is
really important. Continuing a family
tradition with my girls, times be damned.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Are You New Around Here?
Something that has been bothering me for the last year, maybe more, is why major league ballplayers seem to not know how to play baseball. Maybe it’s something that has been around forever, but for some reason I am just painfully aware of it the last few years. More and more I’m seeing players make fundamental mistakes. Even stranger is that I don’t notice it in the NFL, NBA or NHL. That could be because the NFL and NBA are nothing more than a distraction to get from the World Series to Spring Training and the NHL is, well, for Canadians.
Further compounding the mystery are the announcers who will mention it and (if it’s a rookie) say “he’s new up here, he’ll have to learn to hit the cutoff man”. I get it if he mechanically threw the ball and missed the cutoff man, we all make physical mistakes. But how do you not know to hit the cutoff man, or move back to your base on a line-drive or take the extra base if the cutoff man is missed?
These are basic laws that were taught to all of us in little league. In my mind, if you can’t learn these basics (and execute them) then you don’t advance to the next level. And if you don’t advance to the next level you sure as hell don’t get to the Major Leagues.
I can understand if a ballplayer is just SO GOOD that they completely outclass their peers in Little League, high school, maybe even college. So possibly they skate by, missing some of the fundamentals (no need to hit the cutoff man if you can throw a laser to home to nail the slow moving runner). But by the time you get to the minor leagues, Rookie through AAA, you are moving closer to the skinny part of the funnel.
The announcers or coaches will talk about a player’s mistake like the player is new to baseball. He’s new to the majors, sure, but he’s been playing baseball for the better part of fifteen years. The rules haven’t changed (aside from T-Ball, where now EVERYONE has to bat, score isn’t kept and EVERYONE gets a trophy). But it’s still four bases, six outs per inning and home team bats last.
When I got married nineteen years ago, I was new to the marriage thing. But I wasn’t new to life. Just because I was married didn’t mean I didn’t know to get up and go to work in the morning, use a fork and knife to eat, and take a shower each day. It wasn’t like I all of sudden turned soup, salad and steak into finger food and Kim said “well, he’s new to marriage, he’ll figure out where the utensils are.”
If you could hit curveballs in the minors and then can’t hit Roy Halladay’s, that’s simply the Selection Process weeding out the weak. But when you run to second as the batter bunts the ball in the air to the pitcher, . . . that’s what my five year old does because he doesn’t know the game. How can you be promoted to the highest level of baseball in the world with execution like that?
Further compounding the mystery are the announcers who will mention it and (if it’s a rookie) say “he’s new up here, he’ll have to learn to hit the cutoff man”. I get it if he mechanically threw the ball and missed the cutoff man, we all make physical mistakes. But how do you not know to hit the cutoff man, or move back to your base on a line-drive or take the extra base if the cutoff man is missed?
These are basic laws that were taught to all of us in little league. In my mind, if you can’t learn these basics (and execute them) then you don’t advance to the next level. And if you don’t advance to the next level you sure as hell don’t get to the Major Leagues.
I can understand if a ballplayer is just SO GOOD that they completely outclass their peers in Little League, high school, maybe even college. So possibly they skate by, missing some of the fundamentals (no need to hit the cutoff man if you can throw a laser to home to nail the slow moving runner). But by the time you get to the minor leagues, Rookie through AAA, you are moving closer to the skinny part of the funnel.
The announcers or coaches will talk about a player’s mistake like the player is new to baseball. He’s new to the majors, sure, but he’s been playing baseball for the better part of fifteen years. The rules haven’t changed (aside from T-Ball, where now EVERYONE has to bat, score isn’t kept and EVERYONE gets a trophy). But it’s still four bases, six outs per inning and home team bats last.
When I got married nineteen years ago, I was new to the marriage thing. But I wasn’t new to life. Just because I was married didn’t mean I didn’t know to get up and go to work in the morning, use a fork and knife to eat, and take a shower each day. It wasn’t like I all of sudden turned soup, salad and steak into finger food and Kim said “well, he’s new to marriage, he’ll figure out where the utensils are.”
If you could hit curveballs in the minors and then can’t hit Roy Halladay’s, that’s simply the Selection Process weeding out the weak. But when you run to second as the batter bunts the ball in the air to the pitcher, . . . that’s what my five year old does because he doesn’t know the game. How can you be promoted to the highest level of baseball in the world with execution like that?
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
The Day The Home Team Discount Bit An Owner In The Ass
The Rebels fought hard to finish as high in the standings as possible in 2011 to squeeze the most out of their Home Team Budget. With a gaudy .04 at their disposal and only one player to use it on (Brian Wilson) decisions needed to be made.
All winter long in the palatial loft of Stubby Barnes’, Team Capologist, barn evaluation was being made of the current Rebel roster and the reports coming from the Giants about Brian Wilson’s elbow.
“We have Putz, Hanrahan and we just picked up Lidge,” barked Red Morrell, Rebel Executive VP.
“Yes,” replied Bentel, “but Lidge is getting old and his K/BB numbers have not been impressive lately. Plus Wilson has been a mainstay in our pen since we snagged him in 2006 in the Free Agent Pool. We worked hard to get the four cents. I want to use it if it makes sense.”
Capologist Barnes seemed to side with Bentel. “If he’s sound coming out of spring training and the league doesn’t overprice him, I say we grab him,” Barnes said conspiratorially.
Over at DoorMatt headquarters, Team President Matt Bentel and GM Wayne Rice had their own decisions to make.
Quick aside - Wayne could join Rebel Headquarters any time he wants and at any price. Not because he’s helped guide the DoorMatts to four money places in the last six years but because he is a dead ringer for Randy Owen, lead singer for Dem Rebels official music group – Alabama.
Having snagged the Sweet Spot they had the full complement of six cents to use toward their Home Town Discount players. But they had to decide from among the likes of Shane Victorino, Josh Johnson, Jair Jurrjens, Garret Jones, Carlos Marmol, Luke Gregerson and Dan Uggla.
The conversation went pretty easy at times. “Carlos Marmol,” began Wayne. “I think we cut ties completely.”
“I agree,” concurred Bentel. “I can’t take another season of being a Cubs fan and having him on my CFCL roster. The grabber’s going to come eventually. I don’t need Marmol being the reason.”
“OK, so that leaves three pitchers and three fielders with .06 to use,” recapped Rice. “Maybe we look at grabbing one or two from each group.”
“Johnson scares me,” said Matt. “I’ll play it real cool at the draft, maybe even feign some interest to drive the price up, but unless he’s sitting at .09, I’m not taking him. I don’t think he’s fully recovered from his injuries. We have a pretty strong pitching staff, so I don’t want to take Johnson or Marmol or Jurrjens for the sake of using the Home Team Discount.”
“What we need is offense,” concluded Rice. “If we could get Victorino and his five categories back in our outfield, that would be righteous.”
“Don’t talk like that, it’s embarrassing,” chided Bentel. “But I like your thinking. We need Victorino. Let’s plan on getting him back and see how our budget and the draft plays out for guys like Gregerson and Jones.”
“Sweet!” exclaimed Rice. “Should we do our secret-supercool-trademarked high-five and hip bump?”
As a result of this incredible preparation, the DoorMatts avoided (through two weeks) Johnson’s 8.38 ERA; Jones’ platooning one homerun; Marmol’s plethora of blown saves; Jurrjens 7.71 ERA; Gregerson’s 1.8 WHiP and no holds; and Uggla’s .300 OBP and four RBIs. Meanwhile they did benefit from Victorino’s four steals, .381 OBP and six runs scored.
Meanwhile on the southside of the country, Rebel management took a different approach. The Rebels had picked up Brad Lidge at .03 during Winter Waivers to add to the stable of Hanrahan and Putz. The closer the time came to Roster Freeze Day, the more numerous and lengthy the meetings became in Barnes’ loft. A lot of hay was thrown around weighing the options. Morrell mused that they could keep Lidge and not worry about Wilson.
Bentel and Barnes were concerned that Lidge was coming off an injury and didn’t really have a role in the Nationals bullpen, with Storen and Clippard firmly entrenched in the closer and set-up role respectively. Not to mention David Hernandez lurking around waiting for a chance.
Ultimately it was decided to release Lidge (who would become the closer when Storen fell to an injury) and keep an eye on Wilson in the draft, hoping not to overpay. Bentel’s approach was to use the Home Team Discount if it meant settling on a salary for Wilson in the low to mid teens. All the spring training reports were that Wilson had a “cranky” elbow but would be ready by Opening Day.
“At the time it seemed like a good strategy and on Opening Day things fell the way we wanted,” recalls Bentel. “Wilson was nominated late in Round 3 after guys like Heath Bell, Huston Street, Carlos Marmol, Jonathon Papelbon, all of who – except for Marmol – went for more than Wilson.”
“We had the budget and needed another guy for our bullpen. We knew Wilson, liked him for his 35-45 saves since 2008 and dammit we had the Home Team Discount we worked so hard for.”
Looking back on it, Dem Rebels could have used the .15 spent on Wilson and the .05 they left on the table (for a total of .20) to go after Javy Guerra, Sergio Romo or even Ryan Dempster.
“That dog won’t hunt,” proclaims Bentel when that line of thinking is suggested. “Brian’s been an integral part of our team for years and I stand by my decision, even if Red and Stubby throw biscuits at me at mornin’ chow and call me ‘hayseed’”.
All winter long in the palatial loft of Stubby Barnes’, Team Capologist, barn evaluation was being made of the current Rebel roster and the reports coming from the Giants about Brian Wilson’s elbow.
“We have Putz, Hanrahan and we just picked up Lidge,” barked Red Morrell, Rebel Executive VP.
“Yes,” replied Bentel, “but Lidge is getting old and his K/BB numbers have not been impressive lately. Plus Wilson has been a mainstay in our pen since we snagged him in 2006 in the Free Agent Pool. We worked hard to get the four cents. I want to use it if it makes sense.”
Capologist Barnes seemed to side with Bentel. “If he’s sound coming out of spring training and the league doesn’t overprice him, I say we grab him,” Barnes said conspiratorially.
Over at DoorMatt headquarters, Team President Matt Bentel and GM Wayne Rice had their own decisions to make.
Quick aside - Wayne could join Rebel Headquarters any time he wants and at any price. Not because he’s helped guide the DoorMatts to four money places in the last six years but because he is a dead ringer for Randy Owen, lead singer for Dem Rebels official music group – Alabama.
Having snagged the Sweet Spot they had the full complement of six cents to use toward their Home Town Discount players. But they had to decide from among the likes of Shane Victorino, Josh Johnson, Jair Jurrjens, Garret Jones, Carlos Marmol, Luke Gregerson and Dan Uggla.
The conversation went pretty easy at times. “Carlos Marmol,” began Wayne. “I think we cut ties completely.”
“I agree,” concurred Bentel. “I can’t take another season of being a Cubs fan and having him on my CFCL roster. The grabber’s going to come eventually. I don’t need Marmol being the reason.”
“OK, so that leaves three pitchers and three fielders with .06 to use,” recapped Rice. “Maybe we look at grabbing one or two from each group.”
“Johnson scares me,” said Matt. “I’ll play it real cool at the draft, maybe even feign some interest to drive the price up, but unless he’s sitting at .09, I’m not taking him. I don’t think he’s fully recovered from his injuries. We have a pretty strong pitching staff, so I don’t want to take Johnson or Marmol or Jurrjens for the sake of using the Home Team Discount.”
“What we need is offense,” concluded Rice. “If we could get Victorino and his five categories back in our outfield, that would be righteous.”
“Don’t talk like that, it’s embarrassing,” chided Bentel. “But I like your thinking. We need Victorino. Let’s plan on getting him back and see how our budget and the draft plays out for guys like Gregerson and Jones.”
“Sweet!” exclaimed Rice. “Should we do our secret-supercool-trademarked high-five and hip bump?”
As a result of this incredible preparation, the DoorMatts avoided (through two weeks) Johnson’s 8.38 ERA; Jones’ platooning one homerun; Marmol’s plethora of blown saves; Jurrjens 7.71 ERA; Gregerson’s 1.8 WHiP and no holds; and Uggla’s .300 OBP and four RBIs. Meanwhile they did benefit from Victorino’s four steals, .381 OBP and six runs scored.
Meanwhile on the southside of the country, Rebel management took a different approach. The Rebels had picked up Brad Lidge at .03 during Winter Waivers to add to the stable of Hanrahan and Putz. The closer the time came to Roster Freeze Day, the more numerous and lengthy the meetings became in Barnes’ loft. A lot of hay was thrown around weighing the options. Morrell mused that they could keep Lidge and not worry about Wilson.
Bentel and Barnes were concerned that Lidge was coming off an injury and didn’t really have a role in the Nationals bullpen, with Storen and Clippard firmly entrenched in the closer and set-up role respectively. Not to mention David Hernandez lurking around waiting for a chance.
Ultimately it was decided to release Lidge (who would become the closer when Storen fell to an injury) and keep an eye on Wilson in the draft, hoping not to overpay. Bentel’s approach was to use the Home Team Discount if it meant settling on a salary for Wilson in the low to mid teens. All the spring training reports were that Wilson had a “cranky” elbow but would be ready by Opening Day.
“At the time it seemed like a good strategy and on Opening Day things fell the way we wanted,” recalls Bentel. “Wilson was nominated late in Round 3 after guys like Heath Bell, Huston Street, Carlos Marmol, Jonathon Papelbon, all of who – except for Marmol – went for more than Wilson.”
“We had the budget and needed another guy for our bullpen. We knew Wilson, liked him for his 35-45 saves since 2008 and dammit we had the Home Team Discount we worked so hard for.”
Looking back on it, Dem Rebels could have used the .15 spent on Wilson and the .05 they left on the table (for a total of .20) to go after Javy Guerra, Sergio Romo or even Ryan Dempster.
“That dog won’t hunt,” proclaims Bentel when that line of thinking is suggested. “Brian’s been an integral part of our team for years and I stand by my decision, even if Red and Stubby throw biscuits at me at mornin’ chow and call me ‘hayseed’”.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Draft Day 2012
CFCL Draft Day 2012 (entering our 29th year – “We’re Not Even Half Way There!”) took place Sunday, April 1st.
It’s always a busy time before the actual draft kicks off. We have to collect league fees, take the league photo, go over league business, sign the Copperfield Trophy and elect a New Executive Committee.
Confusion rumbled through the pre-draft activities as Dem Rebels owner, Rich Bentel, was seen wearing an Oakland A’s hat. Speculation was that Bentel is a huge Moneyball fan. In reality it came down to draft prep. The Rebels were hoping to sneak Dave Stewart and Carney Lansford on their team. Plus, it accessorized well with the Head Rebels attire. Being a slave to fashion is not an easy endeavor. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.
Amazingly everything went off without a hitch. All owners arrived before the requested 7:30am time and we were able to launch the draft ahead of our 8:00am scheduled time. However, we did have an amusing and possibly hurtful event. Seven owners put themselves on the ballot (The Ruffins, Bulls and Kenndoza Line recused themselves). Perhaps not surprisingly last year’s members were re-elected (Rich Bentel, Tim Morkert and Mike Coulter). The amusing/possibly hurtful event was that everyone received at least one vote. Everyone that is, except the DoorMatts. As the last ballot was read and the realization that Matt Bentel did not garner one vote (kudos to Matt for not voting for himself), he let loose with an expletive filled tirade much to the amusement and enjoyment of the rest of the league.
Matt must have felt much like anyone who has been rejected or denied “friendship” on Facebook. EVERYONE accepts EVERYONE as a friend. To not be accepted makes more of a statement than to be accepted. To not receive a vote could be more powerful than the single votes received by the Twin Killers and Stranger Danger.
Once everyone had settled in and stopped laughing with (or at the expense of) the DoorMatts, Dave Holian (A.K.A. The Professor) launched the CFCL draft for the 26th year in a row with the Ruffin Privilege. For the first time ever, a contest was attached to the Privilege. Some history first – Every year since he has been in the league, The Professor has nominated the first player of the draft. So this year, Co-Commissioner Bentel attached a contest to the nomination. Any team that could guess the player nominated would receive a DVD of “For Love of the Game”, starring Kevin Costner. Kenn Ruby correctly guessed that David Wright would be the first player nominated. He seemed less than thrilled by winning the “sappy-sucky movie.”
As a side note, the Ruffins reacquired David Wright at the salary of .27.
Then the real bidding kicked into gear. The Twin Killers, Candy Colored Clowns and Kenndoza Line all swung their purses at each other when the next player, beleaguered Ryan Braun, was nominated. The Killers were the last team standing, taking Braun and his steroid baggage at .51.
Shortly before or after the Ruffins Privilege, Tim Morkert made an observation. Granted we were in an opulent conference room, but the table was a hard oval making the sight lines difficult. Morkert, an educator of our youth, was struck with a thought that having our name cards balanced on end, rather than lying lengthwise would provide an easier indicator of an owner still in the bidding and thus the Morkert Innovation was born.
Two hours into the draft as Round 5 began, Drew Stubbs was nominated. During the bidding for said Drew Stubbs, inexplicably the skin quality of Alfonso Soriano came up. The Ruffins commented that Mrs. Ruffin says that Soriano has beautiful skin. Apparently it's not a one time observation. Every at bat there's an unbelieving shake of the head, slight smile and comment "What beautiful skin". As The Professor pointed out, Mrs. Ruffin's observation is ALWAYS followed by Soriano wildly swinging at a curveball six inches off the corner of the plate. That prompted the Rebels to point out that their oldest daughter thinks Soriano is a great player. That prompted the Clowns to point out one of their kids thinks Soriano strikes out every time at bat. All this during the bidding of Stubbs.
For the rest of the draft, if an owner had any concerns about increasing the bid on any player, they were either encouraged or discouraged by other owners with comments about that player’s skin quality.
Alfonso “Beautiful Skin” Soriano went to the Danger for .07
For all his inspiration and Innovation earlier, Mr. Morkert wasn’t immune to the slow points of the draft. During the bidding for Juan Rivera Tim, intelligently, was looking ahead at his team’s needs, specifically catcher. With Tim being lost in thought a call went out saying “Tim you’re up.” Not realizing he was to bid to either increase the bid or drop out on Rivera already in progress, Tim’s response was “Chris Snyder for a penny.” And thus the Chris Snyder Incident was born. The Revenge quickly recovered from any embarrassment and passed on Rivera.
With the next player nomination Dem Rebels brought down the house by nominating Chris Snyder for a penny. It was an innocent move since the Rebels were desperate for a catcher (which is redundant since Chris Snyder was the nominated player). Snyder flew through the bidding, including the Revenge who apparently didn’t want to double his salary to .02 and landed on the Rebels roster for .01.
The traditional provision of Twizzlers and pretzel rods had an unfortunate turn. Usually the goodies make an appearance around the third round – at least that’s how Co-Commissioner and former team owner David Mahlan handled things. Lamenting not getting the catchers he had targeted and further whining over the dearth of talent remaining at that position, Co-Commissioner Bentel didn’t whip out, as it were, the Twizzlers and rods until late in the draft. Catchers played a devastating role in the 2012 draft.
In what is thought to be a CFCL first, the owners cruised through three rounds before taking a break. This put the league on a pace to finish faster than last year. This year’s Auction Draft was completed in a snappy four hours and fifty-eight minutes, besting last year’s time by twenty-six minutes.
The Candy Colored Clowns brought an end to the draft by acquiring Jorge DelaRosa at 12:53pm.
An interesting note. Joey Votto was kept going into the draft by the Kenndoza Line at .52. During the draft two other players went for .50+ (Carlos Gonzalez, .52 and Ryan Braun .51). Going back as far as 2006, there was no more than one player drafted in the .50 range (2011 – Joey Votto .52; 2010 – None; 2009 – Albert Pujols .50; 2008 – Chase Utley .53; 2007 – Albert Pujols .55; 2006 – Bobby Abreu .50).
It’s always a busy time before the actual draft kicks off. We have to collect league fees, take the league photo, go over league business, sign the Copperfield Trophy and elect a New Executive Committee.
Confusion rumbled through the pre-draft activities as Dem Rebels owner, Rich Bentel, was seen wearing an Oakland A’s hat. Speculation was that Bentel is a huge Moneyball fan. In reality it came down to draft prep. The Rebels were hoping to sneak Dave Stewart and Carney Lansford on their team. Plus, it accessorized well with the Head Rebels attire. Being a slave to fashion is not an easy endeavor. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.
Amazingly everything went off without a hitch. All owners arrived before the requested 7:30am time and we were able to launch the draft ahead of our 8:00am scheduled time. However, we did have an amusing and possibly hurtful event. Seven owners put themselves on the ballot (The Ruffins, Bulls and Kenndoza Line recused themselves). Perhaps not surprisingly last year’s members were re-elected (Rich Bentel, Tim Morkert and Mike Coulter). The amusing/possibly hurtful event was that everyone received at least one vote. Everyone that is, except the DoorMatts. As the last ballot was read and the realization that Matt Bentel did not garner one vote (kudos to Matt for not voting for himself), he let loose with an expletive filled tirade much to the amusement and enjoyment of the rest of the league.
Matt must have felt much like anyone who has been rejected or denied “friendship” on Facebook. EVERYONE accepts EVERYONE as a friend. To not be accepted makes more of a statement than to be accepted. To not receive a vote could be more powerful than the single votes received by the Twin Killers and Stranger Danger.
Once everyone had settled in and stopped laughing with (or at the expense of) the DoorMatts, Dave Holian (A.K.A. The Professor) launched the CFCL draft for the 26th year in a row with the Ruffin Privilege. For the first time ever, a contest was attached to the Privilege. Some history first – Every year since he has been in the league, The Professor has nominated the first player of the draft. So this year, Co-Commissioner Bentel attached a contest to the nomination. Any team that could guess the player nominated would receive a DVD of “For Love of the Game”, starring Kevin Costner. Kenn Ruby correctly guessed that David Wright would be the first player nominated. He seemed less than thrilled by winning the “sappy-sucky movie.”
As a side note, the Ruffins reacquired David Wright at the salary of .27.
Then the real bidding kicked into gear. The Twin Killers, Candy Colored Clowns and Kenndoza Line all swung their purses at each other when the next player, beleaguered Ryan Braun, was nominated. The Killers were the last team standing, taking Braun and his steroid baggage at .51.
Shortly before or after the Ruffins Privilege, Tim Morkert made an observation. Granted we were in an opulent conference room, but the table was a hard oval making the sight lines difficult. Morkert, an educator of our youth, was struck with a thought that having our name cards balanced on end, rather than lying lengthwise would provide an easier indicator of an owner still in the bidding and thus the Morkert Innovation was born.
Two hours into the draft as Round 5 began, Drew Stubbs was nominated. During the bidding for said Drew Stubbs, inexplicably the skin quality of Alfonso Soriano came up. The Ruffins commented that Mrs. Ruffin says that Soriano has beautiful skin. Apparently it's not a one time observation. Every at bat there's an unbelieving shake of the head, slight smile and comment "What beautiful skin". As The Professor pointed out, Mrs. Ruffin's observation is ALWAYS followed by Soriano wildly swinging at a curveball six inches off the corner of the plate. That prompted the Rebels to point out that their oldest daughter thinks Soriano is a great player. That prompted the Clowns to point out one of their kids thinks Soriano strikes out every time at bat. All this during the bidding of Stubbs.
For the rest of the draft, if an owner had any concerns about increasing the bid on any player, they were either encouraged or discouraged by other owners with comments about that player’s skin quality.
Alfonso “Beautiful Skin” Soriano went to the Danger for .07
For all his inspiration and Innovation earlier, Mr. Morkert wasn’t immune to the slow points of the draft. During the bidding for Juan Rivera Tim, intelligently, was looking ahead at his team’s needs, specifically catcher. With Tim being lost in thought a call went out saying “Tim you’re up.” Not realizing he was to bid to either increase the bid or drop out on Rivera already in progress, Tim’s response was “Chris Snyder for a penny.” And thus the Chris Snyder Incident was born. The Revenge quickly recovered from any embarrassment and passed on Rivera.
With the next player nomination Dem Rebels brought down the house by nominating Chris Snyder for a penny. It was an innocent move since the Rebels were desperate for a catcher (which is redundant since Chris Snyder was the nominated player). Snyder flew through the bidding, including the Revenge who apparently didn’t want to double his salary to .02 and landed on the Rebels roster for .01.
The traditional provision of Twizzlers and pretzel rods had an unfortunate turn. Usually the goodies make an appearance around the third round – at least that’s how Co-Commissioner and former team owner David Mahlan handled things. Lamenting not getting the catchers he had targeted and further whining over the dearth of talent remaining at that position, Co-Commissioner Bentel didn’t whip out, as it were, the Twizzlers and rods until late in the draft. Catchers played a devastating role in the 2012 draft.
In what is thought to be a CFCL first, the owners cruised through three rounds before taking a break. This put the league on a pace to finish faster than last year. This year’s Auction Draft was completed in a snappy four hours and fifty-eight minutes, besting last year’s time by twenty-six minutes.
The Candy Colored Clowns brought an end to the draft by acquiring Jorge DelaRosa at 12:53pm.
An interesting note. Joey Votto was kept going into the draft by the Kenndoza Line at .52. During the draft two other players went for .50+ (Carlos Gonzalez, .52 and Ryan Braun .51). Going back as far as 2006, there was no more than one player drafted in the .50 range (2011 – Joey Votto .52; 2010 – None; 2009 – Albert Pujols .50; 2008 – Chase Utley .53; 2007 – Albert Pujols .55; 2006 – Bobby Abreu .50).
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Heeeere's Nick!
It’s time to re-meet Nick Hansen, Owner of the Eukenott Beatniks and former owner of Nicks Picts. Here’s the Monroe Doctrine legal disclosure:
Due to scheduling conflicts and time constraints we didn’t bother ourselves with the formality of actually interviewing the new owner. I’m sure what follows will be news to him as well as you.
MD: Welcome back, Nick! It’s been too long. So, to start off, what’s with the team name?
EB: Well Eukenott is a little eatery that is home to the best Italian Beef you’ll ever have. It’s name lends itself so well and Beatnik is really my alter ego. I may be fluent in English and Computer-eze, I’ve thrived on the “just off the beaten path” and besides – I look really good in turtlenecks.
MD: OK, that begs the question. If you’re so good at writing computer programs, why didn’t you ever write an equation that allowed the Picts to come in first?
EB: While I fancy myself quite the programmer (I’ve won awards!), there are certain limits to even my genius. I have to be given quality to start with, and well, that hasn’t happened so far.
MD: Can you describe your rivalry with Dem Rebels?
EB: I’ll say this - that last Q&A goes a long way to explain why there’s such a rift between us.
MD: Try not to break the fourth wall, Nick.
EB: Whatever. I’m allergic to flannel and moonshine. He never seemed to appreciate the finer qualities of tartan. We’ll see how he feels about turtlenecks, berets and rectangle sunglasses while we’re scoring on him more than the Kardashian sisters.
MD: You were gone for two years. Why?
EB: Well, I moved to Nebraska initially and found that there is so much to do, nightlife, nature, creative energy outlets; that I couldn’t focus on baseball. That and the fact that, interestingly, there is no Internet in Nebraska. So during the season I had to conduct my league business via carrier pigeon which just got messy.
MD: Is it true that Commissioner Bentel serenaded you with a Christmas song to lure you back to the CFCL?
EB: Carol of the (Base)Balls would have been nice, but Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer did its job. Yeah, he’s been begging me to come back for a while. It got embarrassing. So I finally relented and decided to look forward to the six and half hour drive back to Chicagoland next spring.
MD: So where officially are the Beatnik corporate offices?
EB: We’re located in Sioux City, Iowa (“Iowa! Gateway to Nebraska!”) hard along the banks of the Missouri River. One mild F-1 Tornado, and believe you me we get plenty of those ripping through town, and we’re in Nebraska. Matter of fact, Tornado Season correlates very closely to our fourteen game homestand this summer. We bring a whole new meaning to the term “wind-aided homerun”.
MD: Recently you e-mailed a picture of David Hasselhoff and some puppies. Care to explain?
EB: Well I could say that my wife (the loving and oh so understanding Elizabeth) high-jacked my computer while I got up to get some hot green tea and a biscotti, but there’s a chance she’ll read this, so I have to tell the truth. While it has nothing to do with the Beatniks, I do own every album Mr. Hasselhoff has recorded. He’s an unappreciated and misunderstood musical genius. The people over in Germany have it figured out.
MD: You do understand that your name, The Beatniks, lends itself to derision by calling you The Beat-Nicks? Every team that finishes above you in the standings could call you that.
EB: I’ve thought about that. But let’s be honest, on average only eight or nine teams will be saying that each year. I’m not worried.
MD: There’s nothing else to say. Thank you Nick. Welcome back! You were sorely missed.
Due to scheduling conflicts and time constraints we didn’t bother ourselves with the formality of actually interviewing the new owner. I’m sure what follows will be news to him as well as you.
MD: Welcome back, Nick! It’s been too long. So, to start off, what’s with the team name?
EB: Well Eukenott is a little eatery that is home to the best Italian Beef you’ll ever have. It’s name lends itself so well and Beatnik is really my alter ego. I may be fluent in English and Computer-eze, I’ve thrived on the “just off the beaten path” and besides – I look really good in turtlenecks.
MD: OK, that begs the question. If you’re so good at writing computer programs, why didn’t you ever write an equation that allowed the Picts to come in first?
EB: While I fancy myself quite the programmer (I’ve won awards!), there are certain limits to even my genius. I have to be given quality to start with, and well, that hasn’t happened so far.
MD: Can you describe your rivalry with Dem Rebels?
EB: I’ll say this - that last Q&A goes a long way to explain why there’s such a rift between us.
MD: Try not to break the fourth wall, Nick.
EB: Whatever. I’m allergic to flannel and moonshine. He never seemed to appreciate the finer qualities of tartan. We’ll see how he feels about turtlenecks, berets and rectangle sunglasses while we’re scoring on him more than the Kardashian sisters.
MD: You were gone for two years. Why?
EB: Well, I moved to Nebraska initially and found that there is so much to do, nightlife, nature, creative energy outlets; that I couldn’t focus on baseball. That and the fact that, interestingly, there is no Internet in Nebraska. So during the season I had to conduct my league business via carrier pigeon which just got messy.
MD: Is it true that Commissioner Bentel serenaded you with a Christmas song to lure you back to the CFCL?
EB: Carol of the (Base)Balls would have been nice, but Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer did its job. Yeah, he’s been begging me to come back for a while. It got embarrassing. So I finally relented and decided to look forward to the six and half hour drive back to Chicagoland next spring.
MD: So where officially are the Beatnik corporate offices?
EB: We’re located in Sioux City, Iowa (“Iowa! Gateway to Nebraska!”) hard along the banks of the Missouri River. One mild F-1 Tornado, and believe you me we get plenty of those ripping through town, and we’re in Nebraska. Matter of fact, Tornado Season correlates very closely to our fourteen game homestand this summer. We bring a whole new meaning to the term “wind-aided homerun”.
MD: Recently you e-mailed a picture of David Hasselhoff and some puppies. Care to explain?
EB: Well I could say that my wife (the loving and oh so understanding Elizabeth) high-jacked my computer while I got up to get some hot green tea and a biscotti, but there’s a chance she’ll read this, so I have to tell the truth. While it has nothing to do with the Beatniks, I do own every album Mr. Hasselhoff has recorded. He’s an unappreciated and misunderstood musical genius. The people over in Germany have it figured out.
MD: You do understand that your name, The Beatniks, lends itself to derision by calling you The Beat-Nicks? Every team that finishes above you in the standings could call you that.
EB: I’ve thought about that. But let’s be honest, on average only eight or nine teams will be saying that each year. I’m not worried.
MD: There’s nothing else to say. Thank you Nick. Welcome back! You were sorely missed.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
The Greatest Christmas Present Ever!
There was some discussion that by writing the following Monroe Doctrine it could absolutely prove the Geek Factor in us. But in all honesty, that ship has already sailed. Many of you reading this have met my cousin Matt and me, our pictures have been on the CFCL Front Office website for years and if any of you have walked away from an interaction with either one of us without screaming “GEEK!” in your head, well you’re just not a good judge of character.
So with that being said, let me introduce you to, perhaps, the greatest game of all time. Allow me to rephrase, I mean – THE GREATEST GAME OF ALL TIME!! It is based tightly on Rotisserie Baseball, with a twist. In Rotisserie, or fantasy baseball, you select 23 players from the National or American League and count their stats from the current baseball year and compare those stats to the other fantasy teams. In an effort to get through the doldrums of the off-season, Matt and I usually come up with some form of entertainment. Sometimes we’ll have trivia contests. Other times we’ve each come up with our Chicago Sports Mount Rushmore and then compared our lists. This year Matt came up with, simply - brilliance.
We have just concluded a Chicago Cubs Fantasy Baseball Draft. Before I explain the rules, let me stress the importance of playing this game with someone you can trust implicitly. If there is no trust, this game does not work. Here’s how we played. We agreed on a set timeframe (1975-present) of Cub teams to select from. We chose 1975 as the starting point because that’s as far back as both of us could easily recall watching the Cubs play. Matt could have gone back as far as 1967 because, well, he’s old.
You would think drafting from 37 seasons would leave A TON of potential draft candidates. That’s sort of true, but the reality is twofold. First, drafting a guy like Sandberg, Grace or Dawson eliminates about six to ten seasons of drafting a secondbaseman, firstbaseman or one of the outfield slots because those guys were there year after year. Secondly, during the late ‘70s, early ‘80s and parts of the ‘90s the Cubs basically sucked and didn’t have many guys worth drafting. You only have to read the names Chuck Rainey and Dickie Noles once to realize that era wasn’t blossoming with talent.
We then constructed our teams that comprised the following positions: 2 catchers, 1 firstbaseman, 1 thirdbaseman, 1 first or thirdbaseman, 1 shortstop, 1 secondbaseman, 1 shortstop or secondbaseman, five outfielders, 1 utility spot (could be a position player or pitcher) and nine pitchers.
We graded our teams on Total Bases, Runs, RBIs, Stolen Bases, OBP, Wins, Saves, ERA, WHiP and K/BB.
In our preliminary discussions we had talked about putting together our “favorite” players on a CFCL team. The competition bug in each of us quickly kicked in as we picked players primarily for their production and secondarily for the “love” factor.
Here’s where it gets fun. We selected a player alternate draft style (first Matt, then me, then Matt, then me). Once the player was selected he was off the board. Below are the complete rosters we drafted. The numbers following the player’s name represents the round in which they were drafted and the season of stats that were used. During the draft we were not allowed to look up any stats. We had to completely rely on our memories. THIS IS WHERE THE IMPLICIT TRUST COMES IN. We could look up the Cubs roster for a given year and we could look up a player’s position eligibility (in order for the player to qualify at a position he had to play at least 20 games during the selected season).
Example: Matt selected Ryne Sandberg with his first pick. Sandberg is off the board. Matt could put him at thirdbase and use Sandberg’s stats from 1982 or put him at secondbase and use stats from any year Sandberg played for the Cubs. Matt did not declare which year he was using of Sandberg’s until the draft was completed. So in competing against Matt, I had to consider if he was going to use Sandberg’s 1984 MVP stats, the stats from 1990 when Sandberg hit 40 homeruns or the stats from the years when Sandberg was stealing in excess of 40 bases. During the draft Matt could not look up Sandberg’s stats, even though he had Sandberg because that would obviously influence his subsequent picks.
One other rule in drafting a player, you could only use the stats from a year in which the player played for the Cubs. Matt also selected Greg Maddux. Matt could not use Maddux’s stats from any Atlanta years; only when Maddux played in Chicago. If there was a year where the player split time with teams (Rick Sutcliffe in 1984) I could only select the stats from the time Sutcliffe pitched for the Cubs that year, not combine the stats from Cleveland and the Cubs.
• Side note for you loopholers: Fergie Jenkins could have been selected since he pitched for the Cubs in 1980 and 1981. But his stats could not be used from the late ‘60s/early 70’s since that was before our parameters. I know some of you would figure that out and say his 20+ wins from the seasons in the ‘60s should count.
For added pleasure (or torture) we decided that since we’re trying to waste as much of winter as possible, one person would draft one player per day. Example: Matt would draft on Monday (deadline midnight Monday night). I would draft a player on Tuesday. Matt would draft on Wednesday and so on. Twenty-three players per team equals 46 days. We started this the day after the World Series ended and completed our draft fourteen days before Christmas. You talk about agony and anticipation.
Then to further our fun, Matt came up with the idea that since the draft ended on Monday, December 12th, we would take until Thursday night, December 15th to submit our pitching years for scoring. We would score that, see who’s leading at the “halfway mark” and then submit our offense years by Thursday, December 22nd and reveal the scoring on Friday the 23rd or Saturday the 24th. Our very own Baseball Christmas Gift to each other. Turns out we didn’t wait until the end of the week. What we noticed is that most of the players had a “Signature Season”, so while they may have put up good numbers over several years, there was that one season that stood above all others. There were only about six or so total players that we really had to deliberate on. Because of that, the business of the week before Christmas and, dammit we wanted to know who won, we submitted our offensive year selections to each other last Sunday night (December 18th).
The draft started pretty much as expected with Sandberg and Dawson going first. Then in the next few rounds we had a run on 20 game winners. Matt built a phenomenal infield while I jumped around filling an infield spot, catcher, outfield and pitchers.
After every pick there would be the typical “Hey nice grab!” comments until the 20th round. That will be forever known as The Bill Madlock Debacle in winter drafting circles. The DoorMatts had completely filled their infield, needing only a Catcher, 2 Pitchers and the all important Utility spot. I was certain Matt would focus on pitching, relief pitching specifically. But Matt would have none of it. He looked over available players and said “Why is Bill Madlock still available? He’d be a great fit at Utility.” I, at the time, needed 3B, OF and 2 Pitchers. Why hadn’t I taken Madlock sooner? “BECAUSE MATT DIDN’T NEED A DAMN THIRDBASEMAN!!!” I was heard to yell into a voicemail. Trying to play it fast and loose, I left my CI and 3B slot open for the majority of the draft because Matt filled his corner slots early (4th, 5th and 13th rounds). “No need to fill those spots on my team if Matt already has those positions filled”, I rationalized. But the dreaded Utility spot came up and bit me in the netherworld.
Here is a complete roster for each.
MATT
Geovany Soto (16) – 2008
Michael Barrett (22) – 2004
Derrek Lee (4) – 2005
Mark Grace (13) – 1998
Aramis Ramirez (5) – 2004
Ryne Sandberg (1) – 1990
Mark Bellhorn (19) – 2002
Alex Gonzalez (15) – 2002
Bill Madlock (20) – 1976
Keith Moreland (8) – 1985
Henry Rodriguez (9) – 1999
Jerome Walton (10) – 1989
Juan Pierre (12) – 2006
Gary Matthews (17) – 1984
Greg Maddux (2) – 1992
Mark Prior (3) – 2003
Mike Bielecki (7) – 1989
Ted Lilly (11) – 2008
Ryan Dempster (18) – 2005
Carlos Zambrano (23) – 2004
Carlos Marmol (21) – 2010
Mitch Williams (14) – 1989
Rod Beck (6) – 1998
RICH
Jody Davis (4) - 1984
Rick Wilkins (16) - 1993
Carlos Pena (15) - 2011
Bill Buckner (19) - 1982
Ron Cey (22) - 1983
Mark DeRosa (14) - 2008
Ivan DeJesus (11) - 1978
Starlin Castro (3) - 2011
Leon Durham (18) - 1982
Andre Dawson (1) - 1987
Moises Alou (6) - 2004
Rick Monday (9) - 1976
Alfonso Soriano (12) - 2007
Bob Dernier (20) - 1984
Rick Reuschel (2) - 1977
Jon Lieber (5) - 2001
Rick Sutcliffe (10) - 1984
Kerry Wood (17) - 2008
Ray Burris (21) - 1976
Joe Borowski (23) - 2003
Bruce Sutter (13) - 1977
Lee Smith (8) - 1983
Randy Myers (7) - 1993
The final standings played out thusly:
MATT
TOTAL BASES 3673
RUNS 1158
RBIs 1112
STOLEN BASES 185
OBP .37062
WINS 103
SAVES 158
ERA 2.8749
WHiP 1.2047
K:BB 2.5780
RICH
TOTAL BASES 3766
RUNS 1247
RBIs 1142
STOLEN BASES 204
OBP .35115
WINS 91
SAVES 181
ERA 2.8433
WHiP 1.1464
K:BB 2.9544
**Disclaimer – While it doesn’t look like much of a horse race (8 categories to 2), it was MUCH closer than it appears. Had I selected different pitching years and Matt done the same it would have been a 3-2 or 2-3 split. Had Matt sacrificed a little OBP and tried to garner some extra RBIs, this could easily have ended 5-5 or 6-4 in his favor. We both have agreed that while having bragging rights over each other is nice, the journey was so much more valuable than the destination.
The drawback to this game, the only drawback (aside from watching your cousin, who is more like a brother to you, steal Bill Madlock?) is that there’s only two weeks to go until Winter Waivers. Not much time to prepare.
Unfortunately it’s too close to Christmas (seven days) to be able to box this up and have it delivered in time to put under your tree. So, forgoing what is surely millions in sales and copyright renewals, we are saying in this Season of Giving – take and enjoy. You will never have this much fun again.
So with that being said, let me introduce you to, perhaps, the greatest game of all time. Allow me to rephrase, I mean – THE GREATEST GAME OF ALL TIME!! It is based tightly on Rotisserie Baseball, with a twist. In Rotisserie, or fantasy baseball, you select 23 players from the National or American League and count their stats from the current baseball year and compare those stats to the other fantasy teams. In an effort to get through the doldrums of the off-season, Matt and I usually come up with some form of entertainment. Sometimes we’ll have trivia contests. Other times we’ve each come up with our Chicago Sports Mount Rushmore and then compared our lists. This year Matt came up with, simply - brilliance.
We have just concluded a Chicago Cubs Fantasy Baseball Draft. Before I explain the rules, let me stress the importance of playing this game with someone you can trust implicitly. If there is no trust, this game does not work. Here’s how we played. We agreed on a set timeframe (1975-present) of Cub teams to select from. We chose 1975 as the starting point because that’s as far back as both of us could easily recall watching the Cubs play. Matt could have gone back as far as 1967 because, well, he’s old.
You would think drafting from 37 seasons would leave A TON of potential draft candidates. That’s sort of true, but the reality is twofold. First, drafting a guy like Sandberg, Grace or Dawson eliminates about six to ten seasons of drafting a secondbaseman, firstbaseman or one of the outfield slots because those guys were there year after year. Secondly, during the late ‘70s, early ‘80s and parts of the ‘90s the Cubs basically sucked and didn’t have many guys worth drafting. You only have to read the names Chuck Rainey and Dickie Noles once to realize that era wasn’t blossoming with talent.
We then constructed our teams that comprised the following positions: 2 catchers, 1 firstbaseman, 1 thirdbaseman, 1 first or thirdbaseman, 1 shortstop, 1 secondbaseman, 1 shortstop or secondbaseman, five outfielders, 1 utility spot (could be a position player or pitcher) and nine pitchers.
We graded our teams on Total Bases, Runs, RBIs, Stolen Bases, OBP, Wins, Saves, ERA, WHiP and K/BB.
In our preliminary discussions we had talked about putting together our “favorite” players on a CFCL team. The competition bug in each of us quickly kicked in as we picked players primarily for their production and secondarily for the “love” factor.
Here’s where it gets fun. We selected a player alternate draft style (first Matt, then me, then Matt, then me). Once the player was selected he was off the board. Below are the complete rosters we drafted. The numbers following the player’s name represents the round in which they were drafted and the season of stats that were used. During the draft we were not allowed to look up any stats. We had to completely rely on our memories. THIS IS WHERE THE IMPLICIT TRUST COMES IN. We could look up the Cubs roster for a given year and we could look up a player’s position eligibility (in order for the player to qualify at a position he had to play at least 20 games during the selected season).
Example: Matt selected Ryne Sandberg with his first pick. Sandberg is off the board. Matt could put him at thirdbase and use Sandberg’s stats from 1982 or put him at secondbase and use stats from any year Sandberg played for the Cubs. Matt did not declare which year he was using of Sandberg’s until the draft was completed. So in competing against Matt, I had to consider if he was going to use Sandberg’s 1984 MVP stats, the stats from 1990 when Sandberg hit 40 homeruns or the stats from the years when Sandberg was stealing in excess of 40 bases. During the draft Matt could not look up Sandberg’s stats, even though he had Sandberg because that would obviously influence his subsequent picks.
One other rule in drafting a player, you could only use the stats from a year in which the player played for the Cubs. Matt also selected Greg Maddux. Matt could not use Maddux’s stats from any Atlanta years; only when Maddux played in Chicago. If there was a year where the player split time with teams (Rick Sutcliffe in 1984) I could only select the stats from the time Sutcliffe pitched for the Cubs that year, not combine the stats from Cleveland and the Cubs.
• Side note for you loopholers: Fergie Jenkins could have been selected since he pitched for the Cubs in 1980 and 1981. But his stats could not be used from the late ‘60s/early 70’s since that was before our parameters. I know some of you would figure that out and say his 20+ wins from the seasons in the ‘60s should count.
For added pleasure (or torture) we decided that since we’re trying to waste as much of winter as possible, one person would draft one player per day. Example: Matt would draft on Monday (deadline midnight Monday night). I would draft a player on Tuesday. Matt would draft on Wednesday and so on. Twenty-three players per team equals 46 days. We started this the day after the World Series ended and completed our draft fourteen days before Christmas. You talk about agony and anticipation.
Then to further our fun, Matt came up with the idea that since the draft ended on Monday, December 12th, we would take until Thursday night, December 15th to submit our pitching years for scoring. We would score that, see who’s leading at the “halfway mark” and then submit our offense years by Thursday, December 22nd and reveal the scoring on Friday the 23rd or Saturday the 24th. Our very own Baseball Christmas Gift to each other. Turns out we didn’t wait until the end of the week. What we noticed is that most of the players had a “Signature Season”, so while they may have put up good numbers over several years, there was that one season that stood above all others. There were only about six or so total players that we really had to deliberate on. Because of that, the business of the week before Christmas and, dammit we wanted to know who won, we submitted our offensive year selections to each other last Sunday night (December 18th).
The draft started pretty much as expected with Sandberg and Dawson going first. Then in the next few rounds we had a run on 20 game winners. Matt built a phenomenal infield while I jumped around filling an infield spot, catcher, outfield and pitchers.
After every pick there would be the typical “Hey nice grab!” comments until the 20th round. That will be forever known as The Bill Madlock Debacle in winter drafting circles. The DoorMatts had completely filled their infield, needing only a Catcher, 2 Pitchers and the all important Utility spot. I was certain Matt would focus on pitching, relief pitching specifically. But Matt would have none of it. He looked over available players and said “Why is Bill Madlock still available? He’d be a great fit at Utility.” I, at the time, needed 3B, OF and 2 Pitchers. Why hadn’t I taken Madlock sooner? “BECAUSE MATT DIDN’T NEED A DAMN THIRDBASEMAN!!!” I was heard to yell into a voicemail. Trying to play it fast and loose, I left my CI and 3B slot open for the majority of the draft because Matt filled his corner slots early (4th, 5th and 13th rounds). “No need to fill those spots on my team if Matt already has those positions filled”, I rationalized. But the dreaded Utility spot came up and bit me in the netherworld.
Here is a complete roster for each.
MATT
Geovany Soto (16) – 2008
Michael Barrett (22) – 2004
Derrek Lee (4) – 2005
Mark Grace (13) – 1998
Aramis Ramirez (5) – 2004
Ryne Sandberg (1) – 1990
Mark Bellhorn (19) – 2002
Alex Gonzalez (15) – 2002
Bill Madlock (20) – 1976
Keith Moreland (8) – 1985
Henry Rodriguez (9) – 1999
Jerome Walton (10) – 1989
Juan Pierre (12) – 2006
Gary Matthews (17) – 1984
Greg Maddux (2) – 1992
Mark Prior (3) – 2003
Mike Bielecki (7) – 1989
Ted Lilly (11) – 2008
Ryan Dempster (18) – 2005
Carlos Zambrano (23) – 2004
Carlos Marmol (21) – 2010
Mitch Williams (14) – 1989
Rod Beck (6) – 1998
RICH
Jody Davis (4) - 1984
Rick Wilkins (16) - 1993
Carlos Pena (15) - 2011
Bill Buckner (19) - 1982
Ron Cey (22) - 1983
Mark DeRosa (14) - 2008
Ivan DeJesus (11) - 1978
Starlin Castro (3) - 2011
Leon Durham (18) - 1982
Andre Dawson (1) - 1987
Moises Alou (6) - 2004
Rick Monday (9) - 1976
Alfonso Soriano (12) - 2007
Bob Dernier (20) - 1984
Rick Reuschel (2) - 1977
Jon Lieber (5) - 2001
Rick Sutcliffe (10) - 1984
Kerry Wood (17) - 2008
Ray Burris (21) - 1976
Joe Borowski (23) - 2003
Bruce Sutter (13) - 1977
Lee Smith (8) - 1983
Randy Myers (7) - 1993
The final standings played out thusly:
MATT
TOTAL BASES 3673
RUNS 1158
RBIs 1112
STOLEN BASES 185
OBP .37062
WINS 103
SAVES 158
ERA 2.8749
WHiP 1.2047
K:BB 2.5780
RICH
TOTAL BASES 3766
RUNS 1247
RBIs 1142
STOLEN BASES 204
OBP .35115
WINS 91
SAVES 181
ERA 2.8433
WHiP 1.1464
K:BB 2.9544
**Disclaimer – While it doesn’t look like much of a horse race (8 categories to 2), it was MUCH closer than it appears. Had I selected different pitching years and Matt done the same it would have been a 3-2 or 2-3 split. Had Matt sacrificed a little OBP and tried to garner some extra RBIs, this could easily have ended 5-5 or 6-4 in his favor. We both have agreed that while having bragging rights over each other is nice, the journey was so much more valuable than the destination.
The drawback to this game, the only drawback (aside from watching your cousin, who is more like a brother to you, steal Bill Madlock?) is that there’s only two weeks to go until Winter Waivers. Not much time to prepare.
Unfortunately it’s too close to Christmas (seven days) to be able to box this up and have it delivered in time to put under your tree. So, forgoing what is surely millions in sales and copyright renewals, we are saying in this Season of Giving – take and enjoy. You will never have this much fun again.
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