Trying Out For The Major Leagues

The call came via CareerBuilder.com and the radio. The Cubs had yet another position to fill. Mike Quade, Keith Moreland, Mark Riggins had all accepted their positions and now the Cubs needed someone to introduce them. Requirements? Pretty simple. Be a Cubs fan, answer a few questions and read from a script. Any monkey could do that, right? Well I set off to prove it.

Making the video, took seven takes. My youngest daughter Kristi Grace (named for Christy Mathewson and Mark Grace – did I mention I’m a baseball and Cubs fan?) did a great job but I didn’t realize the stack of papers on the floor was visible. The Lady Rebel filmed the final three attempts getting the cropping just right.

Perhaps the hardest part came next. I had to upload the video on Youtube (first time ever doing that) and submit the on-line application. A minute and thirty seconds worth of video took over thirty minutes to load. Am I doing this right? When I get the job I just need to read stuff, right? I don’t need to use a computer.

Youtube video uploaded successfully (I think) and application sent so it’s sit and wait until Friday to hear if I’m one of the semi-finalists.

Now we enter the Week of Emotional Turmoil.

First day and a half 0 views, did I upload it right? Why isn’t anyone looking at this?

Second day up to 18 views! Someone likes me! Then it goes to 35 views – hey maybe I have a chance and on Opening Day I will be saying “Here are your 2011 Chicago Cubs!” The mind wanders: The announcement is made, the press tour. Talking with Waddle and Silvy, John Williams, maybe a live appearance with Mark Suppelsa on the WGN TV News (boy will Kim be jealous!)

Wednesday it’s still at 35. Aw forget it. This was a pipedream.

Thursday was spent in quiet anticipation fully realizing the odds are stacked against me, but maybe just maybe the call will come tomorrow saying they want to hear more. Wait! What’s that? Views are now at 54? Who the hell wants to watch this? Not exactly the Ray Lankford Incident (274 views) but not bad for a guy sitting at a desk reading off a sheet of paper. I’m pretty sure Kim and the girls didn’t sit through the video 54 times (only nine or ten by their admission). Thursday night head off to bed wondering, will my phone ring? Will the silence be deafening?

And so Friday came and went. Not unlike Bob Hope during the Academy Awards, we celebrated Passover Friday night. No depression (yet) but I’m not chomping at the bit to see who they selected. My daughter Ally came home from school asking if the Cubs had called. I said "no, it looks like they wanted someone else." Her response? "What?! How could they not want you? Oh well, they don't know what they're missing." No, no depression at all. Just extreme pride.

So even though I won’t be sitting way up high behind home plate for Opening Day at Wrigley Field, that’s ok, that means I’ll be at Draft Day where I will attempt to open a can on my fellow owners.