Sunday, June 29, 2008

Securing the Blessings of Liberty

After passing the driver’s exam, we rarely go back and look at the Rules of the Road. Much in the same spirit, after being in the CFCL for 25 years, I decided to go back over the Constitution, page by page, word by word. Here’s what I learned.

* If there are not 12 teams in the league, we decide on the makeup of the roster based on using 70% of the available players picked at the Auction Draft. It’s not just some random thing of “Hey, it would be cool to use 8 pitchers and 4 outfielders.”

* The Swing Position can be filled with either a Pitcher or Position Player. This isn’t so much something I learned as something that brought back memories of the old days when the Utility Position could only be filled with a Position Player.

* Players traded to the AL mid-season continue to earn stats while Minor League players traded to the AL and are then called up, do not. The rules pertaining to players traded to the AL have changed throughout the years and have always confused me.

* Home Town Discount cannot be used with .00. By that I mean, if the Line have a HTD on Russell Martin and Dem Rebels complete the auction on Martin for .08, the Line has to use at least a penny discount to claim Martin, thereby getting him for .07. It seems obvious, but with all the sneaky bastards we’ve had as owners, one of us should have tried to get Martin for .08, thereby using the HTD, but not spending any of the HTD budget. Can’t do it – it’s against the rules.

* Transaction can be made to our rosters on Monday and Friday. This, again, isn’t necessarily something I learned as it is something that has changed many times over the years. During the CFCL infancy, we would have transaction deadlines on Tuesday. This tied in to when the statistics were printed in the USA Today and our standings were calculated BY HAND by the League Secretary. Since then we’ve reported on Fridays, Sundays and now, bi-weekly.

* Dump Trades are not encouraged and even discouraged (who knew?), with the onus being put on EACH OWNER to make fair trades, as stated in the final sentence of Article XIII “Even with these measures in place, it is still expected that each CFCL owner will consider “the integrity of the league” as well as the good of their own team when considering trades.”

* All of the e-mail you receive from the Executive Committee pertaining to rule changes and votes thereof are actually scheduled mailings, not just random e-mail sent out when it’s convenient for the EC to send them. For example: an e-mail is sent out three days prior to the end of the voting timeframe. This is all a well calculated approach to the governance of the CFCL, not just some random communication. And any team that does not submit a vote is therefore submitting a “Yea” vote. Many times I hear owners say “I didn’t vote because I agreed with the majority.” Well if five owners vote against an issue and four vote for it and three owners don’t vote, those three owners will be counted as “Yeas” and therefore swing the vote to be seven for and five against. Yes, they ended up being with the majority, but they may have their vote counted in a way they didn’t intend.

* Missing Piece: In the original Constitution of the Rotisserie Book, there is reference to the Champion being doused in Yoo-Hoo. In the 24 completed seasons, there has only been one owner to take the Yoo-Hoo shower. Bob Monroe was out of town at the end of the season in which he won the title. So he had his kids dump a bottle of Yoo-Hoo on him while his wife took photographic evidence for the league.

I would strongly suggest that everyone take the time to review each part of the Constitution. As Steven Covey pointed out, it’s always good to sharpen the saw. As you do, read it for knowledge but also notice the detail and language that our League Secretary has used. Clearly this has been a labor of love.

CFCL Notes:

Unfortunately it looks like Kid Dynamite got busted early in Events 48 & 49 at the WSOP in Vegas. Perhaps weary and dejected will make him susceptible to lopsided trade offers.

Non-CFCL Notes:

This is for all the coaches in the Major Leagues. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE stop wearing those damn pullover windbreakers!!!! You look stupid. If it’s cold, wear a jacket. Wear the uniform top that your team is wearing that game. Bill Belichek does NOT coach in the MLB. Either wear your uniform properly or wear a suit like Connie Mack did.

Like we didn’t see this one coming. Cubs sweep the Sox at Wrigley and then give back all three games at U.S. Commiscular a week later. This is just a completely different team outside of the ivy walls.

Shameless Paternal Pride: Cooper Wrigley today walked for the first time! One day short of turning 11 months old.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Don't Make Me Say It

After April 8th, 1974 Al Downing said when he was asked what time it was he always had to say quarter after 7. He could never bring himself to say 7:15.

With that same psychosis, though for slightly different reasons, there are things I can never utter again, sometimes it is pure hatred – other times it is for what might have been.

I can no longer say the gates open three hours prior to the game.

When my children look out our backdoor and see some birds fighting, I will no longer tell them the birds are mad ducks.

I only refer to my dinner off the grill as hot dogs, never as franks, even if we’re having beans on the side.

I’m not happy to tell someone that I’m just so-so. I would rather say fair to middlin’ or comme ci, comme ca.

I don’t want to see who my daughter’s suitor is going to be. Probably some dude from St. Louis anyway.

I no longer will reference Mike Singletary’s alma mater of Baylor University.

I can no longer recite the nursery rhyme to Cooper about the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker.

I will no longer offer to perform the Heim(s)lich maneuver on anyone.

I will no longer suggest that someone is a chip off the old block.

I will not mutter to myself, “Ah, Lou, what were you thinking?”

I cannot help my girls put barrettes in their hair.

Our society has pretty much outlawed the word lynch (unless you’re a dumbass golf reporter), but I have outlawed it for additional reasons.

And I will simply never utter the words LaTroy, Rojas or Neifi ever again.

CFCL Notes: Kid Dynamite heads off to Vegas. Let’s hope he comes home with a few WSOP bracelets and the stack of money from the Main Event.

You’ve got to admire a team flopping between 10th and 11th looking to make trades to make a run for the money THIS YEAR! The Copperfields are a class organization through and through.

It may not matter now, however, with the Bulls/Clowns deal. Ugh . . . decide for yourself.

Non-CFCL Notes: Note to Jim Hendry. Please do not think that Jim Edmonds is a long term fix in centerfield. This is Gary Gaetti all over again. It’s easier to perform well in the warm weather in front of a rocking house of 42,000 rabid fans.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Drop and Give Me Ten

Are the 1990’s the worst decade for the Cubs? As a follow up to the MD itemizing who has been a Cub for six years or longer, the DoorMatts had this observation:

The 1990’s must have been the WORST decade for the Cubs going back to the 1950’s because they had players like Frank Castillo, Rey Sanchez and Jose Hernandez for six years or longer.

Usually the DoorMatts are able to “eyeball” an idea and make a correct guess from his knowledge of baseball history and his experience of being a fan. Chalk this one up in the loss column for the ol’ DoorMatts.

Here’s a breakdown of each decade since the 1950’s.

1950-1959 672-866 .437 (No Winning Seasons)
1960-1969 735-868 .458 (4 Winning Seasons)
1970-1979 785-827 .487 (3 Winning Seasons)
1980-1989 735-821 .472 (2 Winning Seasons)
1990-1999 739-813 .476 (3 Winning Seasons)
2000-2008 672-694 .491 (4 Winning Seasons – not including 2008)**
** The wins/losses and percentage include games played through June 15th, 2008, but the Winning Seasons does not include the 2008 year as it is not yet complete.

Here’s what’s interesting. The Cubs had a strong core in the 1980’s with Moreland, Smith, Sandberg, Buckner/Grace, Sutcliffe, Durham, Davis and Dunston yet the Cubs had only two winning seasons – the worst effort since the 1950’s. The 1990’s (assumed to be the worst decade by the DoorMatts), actually forged three winning campaigns and the third best winning percentage.

And if the 2008 Cubs can win 22 more in a row, the Cubs will be .500 for the decade of the 2000’s.

CFCL Notes:
The Once And (he hopes) Future Champion Stones made an early move to lock up first place. They traded a bunch of the future for some present (Rausch) and even some past (Kent). This should have the other three top-five teams that haven’t made a deal, thinking about making a deal.

Our very own Red Hot is headed to Vegas to make a run at Jesus, The Mouth, The Brat, Texas Dolly and a field of 8000+. Last year the MD suggested a list of nicknames Bob could take with him to the tables. Our favorite was Double Dirty Rat Bastard. Based on Bob’s appearance at the draft, for some reason the name Kid Dynamite comes to mind. Good luck, Bob!

School’s out but it is always education time in the Rebel household. While watching the Throwback Game on Friday, WGN showed clips of Wrigley Field from the 1940’s. The clips they showed were in black and white. One of my daughters asked if it was always in black and white back then. Yes, I said when they took pictures it was black and white. “No, I mean was everything in black and white all the time,” she persisted. Pause, pause, pause . . . “Yes, it was in black and white. Color wasn’t invented until the 1950’s” “Ohh.” It’s never too early to teach our children well.

Non-CFCL Notes: I’ve been meaning to include this one for a while. During a rain delay, WGN showed the final inning of the no-hitter thrown by Don Maloney of the Reds against the Cubs. As Maloney went into the wind-up in the ninth, Jack Brickhouse said, “Maloney winds up with pitch number 170.” 170!!! I think he finished the game with 178 or so. I didn’t know Dusty Baker managed the Reds back in the 1960’s.

Eliot Asinof, author of Eight Men Out, passed away this week; as did Charlie Jones, long-time sports broadcaster for NBC.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to all you Daddyios!

Sunday, June 8, 2008

The CFCL and Tigger too!

Thursday marked the day that is joyous, momentous and harrowing in a parent’s life. It was the day the children came home from school for the summer. And with it came all the fun things that summer brings: backyard cookouts, water balloon fights, bike riding and . . . family vacation.

Ooh yeah. Family vacation. Do we rent a cottage on the lake? Go up to the Dells? Visit family in distant states? Disneyworld?

Matt Grage posted something about Disneyworld. He’s going there at the end of July with his niece and nephew. Swell guy, that Matt. But that brings on a new set of problems. If we’re off riding the teacups and conquering Space Mountain, who is watching the roster? Proposing trades? Tracking Free Agents? Is “It’s a Small World” set up with Wi-Fi? Probably not.

So I said “OK, kids. What will it be? A fun summer vacation or a run at the CFCL Title?” Tragically I come to find out that my family does not share my vision. The Holy Grail I have chased now for 25 years is meaningless to them. Honestly I think Cooper was on my side, since he knows he will be inheriting ownership of Dem Rebels – once he is able to run the team better than I can, which should be later this month when he turns eleven months and starts to walk. But as he is unable to communicate beyond smiles and shrieks, I don’t know for sure he was backing me. But the girls just weren’t seeing the vision. All they saw were water parks, picnics and lunches with princesses

Now it was time to be a responsible parent. Look at the big picture, see what has more meaning. Long term is it better to remember your children pulling on Tigger’s tail, or have a Championship Flag flying high over Confederate Park for all of eternity? The answer was obvious. I turned to them and, in my best Soup Nazi voice, declared “No vacation for you!”

So the phone lines will be open. The trade talks will be heavy. The waiver wire will be . . . well hold on. We voted that thing away during the offseason, so the Free Agent List will be monitored. My children, sulkingly, will be in the backyard playing on the oversized waterslide and then at night sit around the TV watching Aladdin, The Tigger movie and Cinderella. And Dem Rebels will finish fourth yet again. Don’t tell the kids – I want to surprise them! I can’t wait to see the look on their faces.

CFCL Notes:

The DoorMatts have .47 left on their FAAB. The Revenge and Line have .55. That’s going to make it difficult for them to acquire Alex Rodriguez when he’s traded to the NL later this summer.

A lot of activity among owners this summer.
  • Nick is planning a trip to scout the Pacific Northwest.
  • Matt G. is claiming to take his niece and nephew to Florida, when it is most likely a scouting trip in disguise.
  • And Mike C. says he’s going to Cincinnati to give Jay Bruce a big hug, but sources in the know tell the Monroe Doctrine that he is really trying to ascertain the whereabouts of Jan Smithers.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Oh Consistency, where art thou?

Consistency, I think that’s all most of us want. When I order a Big Mac and fries, I would like to consistently receive a Big Mac and fries. Not a Big Mac and where the hell are my cholesterol sticks?

When Jennifer and Brad get married, we’d like them to mean it and see a few round anniversaries. We want more David and Michelle, less Chesney and Zellwigger.

When a baseball team signs a player we would like to see that player stick around for a while.

First of all, I have to give credit to the DoorMatts for this idea. They brought this topic up in conversation and I just researched the specifics. Since 1978, the last 31 seasons, there have been 775 roster slots (31 years * 25 active roster slots) available on the Cubs. They have had only 23 players with at least 6 years of service (I even had to extend it to six consecutive part seasons. i.e. trade in the middle of the year, etc.) In longevity order the players are:

Sandberg – 15
Grace – 13
Sosa – 13 (sadly)
Dunston – 11
Wood – 10*
Trachsel – 9
Zambrano – 8*
J. Davis – 8
Durham – 8
L. Smith – 8
Sutcliffe – 8
Buckner – 7
W. Hernandez – 7
Maddux – 7
R. Sanchez – 7
Frank Castillo – 7
Moreland – 6
Sanderson – 6
Dawson – 6
J. Hernandez – 6
Farnsworth – 6
Patterson – 6
Ramirez – 6*
(Lee and Dempster – 5)*
*Current Cubs

This may seem like a long list, but the above players only take up 188 positions (198 if you want to include Lee and Dempster) out of the 775 possible slots. That means in 30 years, the Cubs have had 24.2% of their roster made up of players who have been around for six years or more. I was surprised that Moreland was around for six years, I basically remember him in 1984-85. Frank Castillo, Rey Sanchez and Jose Hernandez kind of fall into the category of Serviceable Player, not great but won’t kill you. It’s also surprising there was only one NL Central (or East) Title in the early/mid-80’s. There was a strong core there with Sutcliffe, Sanderson, Smith, Moreland, Sandberg, Davis, Durham and Dunston.

The hope when signing a player is that they will be around a while. It often doesn’t work out that way, as evidenced by:

H. Rodriguez – 3
Morandini – 3
E. Young – 3
DeShields – 3
R. White – 3
Alou – 3
T. Walker – 3
Juan Pierre – One Freakin’ Year!!!!!

CFCL NOTES:

Did you notice the Stones are still in 2nd place?

Kudos goes out to the DoorMatts and their son, Matt for the Cubs HUGE rally on Friday against the Rockies. Matt and Matt were at the game, stayed for the whole thing (even when the Cubs were down 9-1 following a before game rain delay). This came at even greater expense when the DoorMatts gladly watched their thirdbaseman, Garrett Atkins finish off an oh-fer-five day by striking out against Kerry Wood in the ninth.

The Candy Colored Clowns would like to give a big THANK YOU to Corey Patterson for sucking so bad that Dusty Baker just had to call up and use Jay Bruce. Since his call up, Bruce is 13 for 22 with 10 runs (!!!!), 6 ribbies, 2 stolen bases and twenty-two Total Bases. Hey did you notice the Clowns are in 7th and closing in on 6th fast?

The Rebels would like to thank Eric Byrnes for finally, officially going on the DL. On Friday they were able to activate Russell Branyan who batted .375 with three runs, three rbis and nine total bases over the weekend.