Pittsburgh vs. Cincinnati

Ok, it's been a while since I've contributed to the Monroe Doctrine.  Usually I try to post something no less than weekly.  But with my efforts to have daily updates celebrating the CFCL Turning 30, I have been extremely lax with the Monroe Doctrine.

Until today.  Feeling compelled to post because of the NL Wildcard Game tonight between the Pirates and the Reds.  First of all, I abhor the current playoff system.  Major League Baseball (or Bud-dumber Selig) want there to be an exciting "playoff race" in September, but then do everything in their power to get rid of the teams that provided such excitement.  Rather than have a Best of 3 or Best of 5, it's a winner take all Wild Card Showdown.  Fine, there may be some excitement there, but for the loser it's 162 games to basically play an exhibition and go home.

But that's what we have for now.  So I look at Pittsburgh vs. Cincinnati and think "C'MON PITTSBURGH!!!"  Why?  I'm a Cubs fan, so why would I care deeply about who wins this game.  Well if the Cubs didn't exist, even though I'm in Chicago, I would be a Pittsburgh fan.  Let's breakdown the good and bad of the Pirates and Reds.

PIRATES GOOD

• Andrew McCutchen - Amazingly talented player who, if his facebook page and posts can be believed, is committed to his community and life outside of baseball.
• PNC Park - I've never been, but from what I've seen on TV it is the best park in all of baseball.  Yes - I realize the Cubs play at Wrigley.
• Roberto Clemente, Willie Stargell, Dave Parker, Honus Wagner.  Wonderful, wonderful player history.
• Roberto Clemente Bridge.  Painted yellow and shut down on game days/nights for fans to use to access the park.
• Pittsburgh itself - Home of the Steelers and a true blue collar work ethic.
• We Are Family - 1979, a great season.

PIRATES BAD

• They employed Barry Bonds.  However, this was the pre-Juiced-Cheater Bonds.  This was the Bonds that everyone says was a Hall of Famer before he creamed and cleared his way to a fake homerun title.
• 20 years of losing.  Well that's over, but it sure did take a long time to win more games than they lost.

REDS BAD

• Notice I'm starting with the bad things about the Reds?  I really don't like the organization.
• Marty Brenneman.  This may be a bit personal, but he decided to take shots at Cub fans.  Can't remember why.  I'll admit a lot of Cub fans are idiots, but Marty - focus on the damn game.  You and Hawk Harrelson should realize your job is to report on the game and not try to be a personality of it.  Need an example?  See Vin Scully.  Oh and teach your son how to talk like a normal human being.  That fake announcer voice he uses for baseball and football is really stupid.
• Joe Morgan, Johnny Bench, Pete Rose.  Yes, great players.  Also great egotists that think they are better than the game (Rose) or that they are the game (Morgan).
• Dusty Baker - this one probably should have been listed #1 on my list.  Still can't believe he didn't have the bullpen up and going in Game 6, 2003 NLCS.  Took great happiness in watching his Reds win the first two against the Giants last year and then tank three in a row a home.  God that is sooo Dusty.
• Their fans.  Many of their fans are arrogant, pains in the asses.  That could probably be said for many or all ML teams. I just really don't like Cincinnati.

REDS GOOD

• There's only two things I can think of.  Great American Ballpark.  Not as great as PNC, but it's on the river and you can watch the barges float back and forth during a game.  Took the family there for Cubs vs. Reds back in 2008.  Really nice park.
• People of Cincinnati.  Very pleasant and kind.  Couldn't be nicer trying to help some out of towners find their way around the city.
• WKRP in Cincinnati.  Johnny Fever, Venus Flytrap, Les Nessman.  The whole crew.  Awesome show but not enough to sway me to cheer for the Reds.

Exhilaration and Disappointment All Rolled Into One

July 6, 2013 – The day I finally fulfilled part of my parental responsibility by taking the kids to Wrigley Field.  I have to give credit where it’s due.  Lady Kimberly suggested and ordered the tickets.

Game time 3pm so we arrived around 12:30 to make sure we were one of the first 10,000 fans in the door to receive the Cubs T-Shirt giveaway courtesy of StubHub.  Let me set the stage for a minute so the title of the post will become more clear as we move on.  My wife and I took our four children to see the Cubs play at Wrigley.  We have three daughters (ages 16, 13 and 12) and a son (age 5).

We waited for the gates to open, grabbed our T-Shirts and made our way to our seats.  We sat in the Terrace Reserved section by first base.  To get to the seats we had to walk up the ramps that are on the perimeter of the park.  I knew what was coming at the top of the ramp so I slowed down, told my son who I was carrying to look to his left, and waited for any reaction from the kids at their first sight of Wrigley Field in person.  My wife and I had the same reaction we always do.  “Oh my god, there it is!”  The kids admitted they didn’t quite reach that level, although they did like seeing it in person.  They thought the field looked completely different than it does on TV.

We went to our seats and then I went to get everyone something to eat.  I went down four ramps and a flight of stairs for the hotdogs and French fries.  Carried it back up and then went back down four ramps and a flight of stairs to get the water and pop.  Thankfully everything was 25% off since we arrived right after the gates opened.

Once we ate we took turns walking around taking tons and tons of pictures of the park and each other.  Then we got settled in our seats and watched the ground crew get the field ready, spraying the water, replacing the bases, putting away the batting cages and laying down the batter’s boxes and foul lines.  I told my girls to watch as the wooden rectangle was laid where the batter stands and then was struck eight or ten times with a pipe to release the chalk to make the boxes.

First pitch was 3pm (two and a half hours after we arrived) and the people in the two rows in front of us were already drunk.  They weren’t abusive, they didn’t do anything that would embarrass my children, they were just drunk.  They continually stood up and walked out to go to the bathroom and buy more beer.  Each row must have stood up and left and come back at least seven times each.  So rather than be able to see the game on the field, my kids had to look at the television monitors hanging above to see what was happening.  When the people in front weren’t blocking our view, the posts supporting the upper deck blocked our view of home, thirdbase, rightfield or firstbase depending on which member of our family you asked.  We couldn’t see the top of the scoreboard, the clock or the flags flying because of the luxury boxes hanging down from the upper deck.  The seats, same seats I sat in when I was a kid, were tight.  No arm room between us (good thing we’re a close family), no room to put our legs.

So with all that, the only time we left our seats from an hour before game time until the game ended at 6pm was when my five year old said he had to go to the bathroom in the 6^th inning.  Four ramps and a staircase down and up and fortunately we only missed a couple of batters.  The idiots in front of us left their seats a combined dozen times at least.

That being said, Wrigley looked beautiful.  Green carpet grass, ivy in full bloom.  Cubs beat the first place Pirates 4-1 and Alfonso Soriano hit two home runs making my oldest daughter thrilled.

Being there with my wife and children was an amazing experience, almost as good as I had built up in my mind.  But what I forgot about was the group of “fans” that show up to drink themselves into the concrete and not pay attention to the game.  They go so later that night or the next day they can say “Yep, I was at Wrigley yesterday.  It was awesome.”  I doubt they could remember anything that happened.

As much as I love baseball, the Cubs and  Wrigley Field, I’m not busy trying to arrange a return visit any time soon.

It's Awesome Being 5

Our little guy is about to turn six.  As he finishes up his time being five I take a step back to, if not look through his eyes, at least view him from a wide angle lens.  Since this is a baseball-themed blog, here are the baseball connections.  We named him Cooper Wrigley (for Cooperstown and Wrigley Field – no I did not have to get my wife drunk to agree to this, it was her idea).  We have him signed up for soccer and t-ball.  And now I bring you the joys of being five.

**  During his last game of soccer he was doing well dribbling the ball and scored a goal.  Then just before the game ended with the action right by him he stretched out his arms parallel to the ground and started spinning around.  The ball rolled right past him and all the other players ran to the other end of the field while he twirled around.  After the game I asked him what he was doing.  He said, somewhat exasperatedly, “Papa (I love it that he calls me Papa), I was a Ninja Turtle!  I was fighting off the bad guys.”

**  He will out of nowhere identify if a day is great or not.  “Papa?  When I get home can I have marshmallows?”  When I say yes he responds in an excited voice “This is the best day ever!”

**  At 11pm when we’re trying to get him to relax and fall asleep he’ll ask “I want something to eat.  Can I have a hotdog?”

**  Occasionally when he’s done doing his thing in the bathroom he’ll walk down the hallway naked from the waist down.  I’ll say “Dude, where are your clothes?”  He will look down, embarrassingly smile and say “Whoops!  I forgot!” and run back into the bathroom.

**  While my wife and I are in the kitchen making dinner he will walk up to us and let out a roar.  We’ll ask “Are you a monster?”  He will look at us like we must be nuts and say “No!  I’m a Seratops! (triceratops)”

**  He has embraced the music of my wife (Maroon 5) as well as myself (Straight No Chaser) and happily sings along to both whenever we drive along in the car.

**  His video and television tastes range from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers to Strawberry Shortcake and My Little Pony.

**  While watching those videos he can be laying quiet as you please on the couch when all of a sudden he will leap up and race around the family room and kitchen acting out a chase scene or race or battle on the screen.

**  And at the end of a long day, he will come over, push my leg down that’s crossed over the other one, climb up on me, put his head on my chest and say “I want you to hold me.”

Pat Hughes Must Go

This isn’t the first time I have written this and unfortunately it probably won’t be the last, but Pat Hughes (radio play-by-play man for the Cubs) needs to quit or be fired!

I hate being negative toward someone or criticize the job someone does because I know I am the furthest thing from perfect.  But the Cubs and/or WGN Radio keep running Hughes out to provide the radio description of Cubs games and every year, for me anyway, it gets more and more aggravating.

When Hughes first joined the Cubs he was partnered with Ron Santo.  Hughes would handle some of the pre-game analysis, Ron would interview the manager.  Then Hughes would do play-by-play for the entire game and handle the post-game highlights.  Not a big deal, pretty much what every announcer does in any major league town.

During the games with Santo he would “leave the game” and talk with Ron about everything but baseball.  Some people found that cute.  That’s ok.  I never really did, but whatever.  The irritating thing started when I heard Hughes interviewed during the off-season and the interviewer commented on how much fun he and Santo seemed to have broadcasting the games.  Hughes, with an almost defiant air of superiority, mandated “My job is to make the listener really laugh two or three times a game.”  Really?  I thought your job was to describe what’s happening on the field since I’m in my car and don’t have access to a television.  If I wanted to laugh I would turn off the radio and pop in my Bill Cosby CDs.

But fine, you want to talk about Ron’s toupee or your tuna sandwich, whatever.  But then I was told about a conversation Hughes had DURING THE SEASON with the Program Director of WGN.  Apparently he said “Man I’m worn out.  Any chance I can get a short vacation?”  Fortunately the PD said “No.”  But let’s look at this a bit, shall we?  The baseball season runs from the beginning of April to the end of September (that’s the Cubs season anyway since we don’t have to worry ourselves with post-season play).  That’s six months.  Spring Training begins in mid-February, but games usually aren’t broadcast until Mid-March.  So at most he’s working six and a half months.

A baseball game typically lasts about three and a half hours.  If you’re doing pre-game and post-game stuff you’re on the air for maybe four and a half hours.  Sure there’s research and prep work to be done, but keep in mind there are A LOT of people out there working ten hour days unloading trucks ALL YEAR LONG!

So when Hughes was doing all his duties for the Cubs he was working six and a half months about five hours a day.  Yes, I know, travelling can wear you out.  I don’t travel for a living so I don’t know what effect it can have on the body.  But guess what?  You knew that when you applied for the job!  I help people invest for their financial future.  This would be like me saying “I don’t mind getting paid to do my job, but could I not talk about investments?  It’s really wearing me out.”

So somehow the Cubs/WGN have agreed to this current schedule for Hughes.  He doesn’t do Spring Training games until about a week before the regular season starts.  He doesn’t do any pre-game or post-game work.  That’s handled by Keith Moreland and Judd Sirott.  He also DOES NOT BROADCAST THE 5^TH INNING OF THE GAME!  He does not broadcast one inning per game (times 162 games = 162 innings divided by 9 [standard length of a game] =18 )  He essentially does not broadcast 18 games a year or 11% of the season.

Last year he missed at least seven additional games for (according to WGN) non-health related reasons.  He also missed three games so he could be in Cooperstown to honor Ron Santo at his induction.  The Hall of Fame time I totally get.  He should be there.  He worked with Santo for about 18 years.  He absolutely needed to miss the Cubs games that weekend and be with Santo’s family.

And all of this other stuff would be fine (well no it wouldn’t but it would be tolerable) if Hughes wouldn’t whine every time a game was played in less than 60 degree temperatures or during a ten or fifteen day streak of consecutive games.  The minute the temps are in the 50’s or the Cubs play ten days in a row or 19 out of 20 games, Hughes will comment on it as if it is personal torture.

He needs to keep in mind that there are hundreds and thousands of people that would love to work half a year and get paid to talk about baseball.

The sickening thing in my mind is that if he would just do his job; forget the damn jokes, forget the stupid ass 9^th inning trivia and just broadcast the game.  If he just did that?  He’s one of the best play-by-play guys I’ve ever heard.

Brief Recap of the 2013 Draft

Wow, has it really been six and a half months since the last post?  I guess it has.  Well with baseball back in full swing there is plenty to talk about.  We will get there in due time.  But as is tradition here at the Monroe Doctrine it is time to kick off the year with the 2013 CFCL Draft In Review.

Every year the draft brings some interesting things and this year was no exception.  With three owners living out of state and an early Easter this year, coordinating schedules was a challenge.  The Ruffins were unable to make it in to town, which sucked.  Every year you can always count on Dave’s humor to keep the draft moving along.  But whenever a door closes a window opens, as they say and our window was former Copperfield owner, David Mahlan.  David had been the heart and soul of the league for 27 years before retiring back in 2010.  He has been sorely missed and we have tried everything to get him back.  Well it finally worked.  David agreed to be the proxy for David’s Ruffins.  Patched in with a Bluetooth headset and cellphone, David was the voice for the Ruffins and a welcome sight for the CFCL.

I just committed the biggest sin (or one of them) in journalism.  I buried the lead.  The lead of the blog should be - - - THE CFCL TURNS 30 THIS YEAR!  Thirty years ago David approached me about a little green book he found in the sports section of the book store and the rest is history.  Actually the rest and the history is being presented on a separate blog.  For those of you so inclined, I invite you to visit http://cfclrebelcopperfield.blogspot.com/ where you will be able to read daily entries pertaining to the history of the CFCL.  Our goal is to provide an update daily with historical knowledge about the league, trivia, video clips and Q&A from former and current owners.

Back to this year’s draft.  We had some interesting things take place.  The owner of The Danger had an unavoidable conflict arise and couldn’t attend, so he sent his brother to draft for him.  So for the first time in CFCL we had two proxies sitting in.

The Ruffins invoked the Ruffin Privilege at 12:55pm and brought up Troy Tulowitzki and we were off to the races.

A few hours into the draft, for the second time ever, we had an owner depart before the draft ended.  Dan, the proxy for The Danger, received word that he had feverish children at home.  Doing the only thing he could, he left to take care of his family.  But not before he nominated Carlos Marmol for bidding a .05.  I will grant you this is a Cub Fans League (that’s with CFCL stands for – Cub Fan Club League), but nobody took the bait.  Nine owners passed quickly and Marmol took his seat in the Danger bullpen.

**If my memory is right about this one, the only other time an owner left the draft before it was over was in 2002 when the Resevoir Dogs had to leave, also due to an ill child.**

Within six nominations of each other, Tim Lincecum and Roy Halladay were brought up for bidding.  The strange thing this year about that is that Halladay was brought up at the end of Round 4 and Lincecum in the middle of Round 5.  Normally they would have gone early in Round 1.  The other crazy thing is that Halladay went for .11 and Lincecum for .10.  Combined .21.  The last time they were available at the draft Halladay was taken at .37 (DoorMatts – 2010) and Lincecum went for .37 as well (Twin Killers – 2012).  How quickly baseball changes.  A combined .74 down to a combined .21.  Rafael Soriano basically went for the same price (.20) as those two combined.

When the Danger Proxy left, the Danger still needed four active players and an entire reserve list of seventeen.  In what may actually have been a first, the Danger completed their roster three days after the draft ended.  In the short run they don’t seem to be too damaged as they are entrenched in sixth.  But the Reserve List usually shows its strength or weakness in the dog days of the season, so we’ll see what staying power the Danger have in the long run.

The highest player salary this year was Joey Votto (.49 to the Clowns) [Honorable Mention to Carlos Gonzalez who went for .48 to the Danger).  Most expensive pitcher was Cliff Lee (.41 to the Beatniks).  The Twin Killers picked up the first penny player, Donovan Solana, in the second round.

And five hours and five minutes after the Auction Draft began, the Kenndoza Line took Daniel Descalso to complete the draft.