To Love and Love Not

Have you ever loved anything so much, but knew it was bad for you? That triple layer, double-chocolate cake that is loaded with calories and cholesterol. The hottest woman alive is interested in you but is packing the mother of all STDs. Those streamlined, sleak looking in-line skates, but you have no coordination to use them? Let me introduce you to Comcast’s Extra Inning Package. What a joy . . . and curse.

One gets to turn on the Dodger game and listen to Vin Scully broadcast a game. Does it get any better than that? The fact that he sits in his booth, alone, and just has a conversation with the microphone – the man is amazing. (That chocolate cake tastes sooooo good!)

One has the ability to, oh say, turn on the Phillies/Giants game. Cool, Charlie Kalas is doing the game. Even better, the Giants take a 4-3 lead in the 10th. So here comes Brian Wilson surfing in for a save. He gets two outs, lets the tying run get on base with a hit and then takes Pat Burrell to a full count. He delivers the pitch and because of this Extra Inning Stupidass Package, one gets to see LIVE Burrell take it over the fence, costing some poor CFCL team a Ho/Sv. (The doctor comes back saying that your cholesterol level has a higher number than the odometer on your five year old car.)

One gets to watch a game until well past midnight as long as there are games on the West Coast. Oh sure, one may have to end up watching an American League game to make this happen, but we can all make sacrifices, can’t we? (Is that goddess looking at me? She’s smiling at me?!)

Each night there are anywhere from four to ten games broadcast on Extra Innings. It’s a bit reminiscent of the old NCAA New Year’s Day Bowl Games: four or five are on in the early evening and four or five are on in the late evening. The only problem is that one finds themselves constantly flipping from one game to another, rather than hunkering down for a specific game. (Wait, what’s this doctor’s note say? SHE HAS WHAT?!)

One gets to listen to Mark Grace and his partner broadcast the Diamondback games. They are an easy listen and fun. Sometimes a little goofy and his partner is dangerously close to being Chip Caray (over the top homer). His broadcast of Doug Davis’ last game before cancer surgery could have been moving but basically was a Doug Davis Cheerfest. Here’s a sidenote, did anyone notice that the third member of that broadcast team (the goof they send out into the stands to find the human interest story – dude’s name is Todd Walsh) looks exactly like Nick Hansen if Nick were heavier and holding a microphone? (Man these in-line skates feel great: polyurethane wheels, extra padded heels, the wind blowing through my hair [work with me people, I’m not just exercising my poetic license – I’m giving it a heart attack]).

Of course being in Chicago the Cubs and White Sox are blacked out which is unfortunate since it would be fun to hear the opposing team’s call once in a while. So instead we get the home version of being able to watch Alfonso Soriano misplay three flyballs into doubles. Don’t worry Cub Fans, we still have another six years to watch Soriano turn Dave Kingman into a Gold Glove outfielder. (Hey!! Where did that turn come from? How do you stop these crazy things? Owwww!!!!! My knee is NOT supposed to be facing THAT direction!)

But Extra Innings let us flip to another game as we work through our frustration. There is always a silver lining among our clouds.

By the way, did anyone happen to notice that Steve’s Stones are in second place? One man’s joy is ten men’s curse.