After the Rose

On the TV show “The Bachelor” (and don’t tell me you don’t watch it – I just know you’re TiVOing it every week, Nick!) after the bachelor has selected his plaything, there is an episode called “After the Rose” where the girls get to tell their side of the story. The Monroe Doctrine felt it only fair to allow the lampooned owners the opportunity to set the record straight. The Revenge and Clowns provided their versions and Moore Better has promised some juicy stories when he gets back in town. No doubt he's doing some scouting work for Steve to see what Swiss bank they can buy out.

The Candy Colored Clowns (with an assist from the Kenndoza Line) were the first to offer their side of the story. Mike was pleased that the MD “actually captured my attitude and flippant sense of humor. Which is surprising since we had limited interaction at the draft...other than my allowing you to have D. Lee.”

Thanks Mike, but let’s set the record straight. There was no allowing anyone to have anything. I was Chris Moneymaker to your Sammy Farha. I saw you playing with your chips, noticed your tell and went in for the kill.

Kenn chimed in with a bit of smack for his buddy. “As for the bowling, Mike claimed he had a 180 average in college ("out of what, a thousand?"), so we wanted him on the team. He brought a lot to the table, like buying the first round of beer for being the low man each week as well as a deck of nudie playing cards for his dork teammates to appreciate.”

Mike unwittingly smacked him back (I say unwittingly because Kenn and Mike e-mailed me independent of each other [to my knowledge] and traded punches on the same topics). “I actually asked him what's with Mr. Corn Cob at the draft, even though he used to grace Kenn's desk at STATS. And you graciously left out the fact that I awarded him our bowling team's deck of nude women cards after we finished our league play so that he could learn about the female anatomy. I think it might have actually led to his eventual marriage”.

Kenn did seem to acknowledge that it isn’t surprising the Clowns are higher in the standings than the Line. “If I've ever beaten him in a fantasy baseball league, I sure don't remember it.”

While Kenn and I both enjoyed the fabricated origin for Mike’s team moniker, I’ll let Mike give you the real story.

“And finally, as a journalist myself, I would be remiss in not pointing out the only real glaring factual error (surprising there was only one, considering the "in-depth" interview process). Skittles and Chuckles are actually my two favorite candies. Of all time.

The Candy Colored Clowns actually get their name from a Roy Orbison lyric from the song "In Dreams", which plays a small but pivotally creepy role in the David Lynch film classic "Blue Velvet." I thought it had a nice double-meaning: kid-friendly mascot or menacing man in makeup.”

Tim rebutted with information that says the MD was closer to the point than expected. “Loved the brewery thing. I'll have to give that some serious consideration. I've brewed a few batches of my own but don't think it's quite ready to go public!”

There was geographic accuracy and some interesting Cub related stories. “I'm a born and bred Chicago boy, living in this area until 15, when my family moved to the Bay Area. Lived there for about 20 years and became a Giant fan (when in Rome...) while still peripherally following the Cubs. Even was at Jack Murphy to see the Cubbies lose 3 straight (many beers, peanuts, and insults were thrown my way), although I'm quite sure a few less than savory comments about Steve Garvey may have passed my lips.

Was in S.F. for the 89' earthquake. Had the TV on ready to see the Giants/A's when all hell broke loose! Got introduced to Fantasy baseball at the time when Jose Rijo ruled the world (that may have been the one season he was healthy all year!).”

Tim and his family moved back to Chicago where it turns out he became the second CFCL owner to pursue education as a career. “I teach 5th grade in Arlington Heights. I even found a way to pass Fantasy Baseball off as a summer school class! Go figure!”

But here’s how Tim best wraps up his experience in the CFCL thus far. “As for the CFCL and completely unexpected April success, I feel like the guy who ran with Ross Perot (James Stockdale??)... ‘Who am I...what am I doing here?’”