We embark on the final leg of our trilogy as we meet Tim Mokert. He is the last owner profiled, but certainly not the least as he is a favorite of one long-time owner.
“I, Richard Bentel – owner and mismanager of Dem Rebels, do hereby solemnly swear to honor, cherish and adore the membership of Tim Mokert, until death do us part. . . . Or until he doublecrosses me at next year’s draft.”
“I had no idea just how popular a guy could be by bidding two cents on Barry Zito. Had I known this in high school I would have been going up to all the hotties, bidding .02 on every ballplayer I could think of.”
Tim’s story begins in the Bay area (San Francisco, not Green) where he started his adult life running a Microbrewery. “Everyone else is growing grapes for the Wine Set. Me? I want to serve the common man with discerning taste.”
An errant conversation from a group of Silicon Valley big shots sent his life into a new direction. “I stopped by their table to see if they enjoyed my latest brew. As I was approaching, one guy was complaining of the production of Rick Reuschel. Another guy was harping at the slump of Bobby Bonilla. I heard them say ‘For what we paid for them, we should be getting more in return.’ I thought I was hearing the owners of the Giants and Mets talking. Turns out they belonged to a fantasy league. After some quick thinking, I joined the league on the promise that I would provide free beer to all league functions.”
The rest is history. Tim made quite a mark on this Bay area league, becoming the Commissioner and staying a part of it, even after he moved back to Chicago. Once back in Chicago, he ditched the microbrewery business and looked to make a splash in corn dogs. “Rolling Meadows is the perfect location to build the corn dog empire. It’s near O’Hare to catch all the tourists, and right off the main expressways to nab all the construction workers.”
He was also looking for a local league to dominate and saw the posting for the opening in the CFCL at the Fantasy Baseball Café website.
“My team name came pretty easy to me,” says Mokert. “Sometimes when we’re coming up with new recipes for the corn dogs, they don’t always turn out the way we would like. Then production stops for a few days while we deal with the residual issues.”
As the saying goes, “When one gastro-intestinal owner’s door closes, another one opens.”
Fortunately at the draft, there were no “corn dog issues”. Mokert made a splash right away, acquiring the eighth player of the draft, Jake Peavy, for .42. “I was looking for a California guy to start off my day and he was the first one brought up. That’s also probably why I went to .02 on Zito. I didn’t have any Giants on my team yet. I sure wasn’t trying to become best friends with Bentel. The guy won’t leave me alone. The e-mails, flowers, gift baskets. Dude, aren’t you married?”
Little does Tim know those are diversionary tactics to knock him from his current Second Place Loft. They are NOT, according to a source within the Rebel Flannel Factory, affectionate tokens of appreciation – as far as you know.
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