In our continuing stooorrry about the three new additions to the CFCL we turn our attention to Michael Moore. Admittedly the CFCL was a bit nervous having a famous film director join their round table. Oh sure, the CFCL is not new to, nor intimidated by, the film industry. Having been featured in Trading the Gator, the red lights and red carpet are part of their makeup. Additionally let’s not forget the horrible mistake of a film the Bulls made at home in their youth (visit YouTube.com and search on “Bulls Getting Jiggy With It”). Being around a camera is second nature to the CFCL.
Imagine the surprise when, on March 30th, a dumpy, hairy, bespectacled man did not enter the Draft War Room, but a clean cut, slim, young banker did. This is Michael Moore? This is Michael Moore.
Currently residing in Rogers Park on the North Side, the Moore story starts earlier. Growing up in rural Wichita, Kansas young Michael was sitting at the dinner table one evening, having just shucked his twentieth silo of corn. He heard his sister proclaim: “Momma, these cornbread muffins are more better than them flapjacks you made this morning!” Young Michael’s life was changed forever. “If I ever move to Chicago and join an elite fantasy baseball league, I’m going to call my team More Better. No wait!!!! Moore Better! I could work my name into it! How cool! Hmm. I should go into marketing.” And a dream was born.
A few years later after Michael finished high school and college in the back of the warehouse of Brooks Agricultural in Salina, Kansas, he loaded up his car to head to Chicago. His father, hugging him good-bye, slipped a few extra dollars into the pocket of Michael’s waistcoat and wished his son “God speed.” After a few months of hitting the streets of downtown Chicago trying to show off his Marketing Wizardry, Michael was down to his last few dollars and desperate.
A stranger eating a bratwurst approached. Engaging Michael in conversation our Caped Crusader heard Michael pine, “All I want is to join a Fantasy Baseball League, forget about marketing and get into banking.”
“I think I can help you on both fronts,” said our hero as he adjusted his Brewer boxer shorts and straightened his Bernie The Brewer headpiece. “You see I am recent champion of a prestigious Fantasy League. And I also happen to own a bank. Why don’t you have dinner with me and we will figure things out.”
And so a few months later Michael joins the CFCL and becomes the youngest current owner. Being the youngest owner could be a problem for most, but not the determined Michael. “It’s really more of an advantage because by the fifth round of the draft, most of my older compatriots are looking to take a nap and I’m just getting started.”
That strategy will need some work. This year in the 5th round Moore Better snagged So Taguchi for .02 and in the 6th round they picked up Jack Wilson for .15. “I’m not worried,” says Moore. “Now I’ve got everyone’s phone number. Around midnight next year I’m going to start calling the other owners so they don’t get a good night’s sleep. 2009 will be my year to shine.”
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Speaking as someone who actually *DID* grow up in "rural Wichita, Kansas," I can say that Rich's descriptions of how we all acted are painfully accurate, although we were generally more into wheat than corn. Don't confuse us with those jerks from Nebraska.
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