The White House Goes Rotisserie

Little has it been known that our forefathers (actually we’ve had 43 “fathers”) of our country were involved in Fantasy Baseball – granted the last eight years have felt less like a father was in charge and more like Uncle Buck came to visit and was asked to babysit. Here are the team names and some team analyses.

George Washington – The Washington Apples (You won’t find a cherry tree within ten miles of the park)
John Adams – The Adams Family (Itt’s really not a bad team)
Thomas Jefferson – The Monticello Dois (Their Declaration of Independence was that all men are created to hit the ball)
James Madison – The Madison Oscars
James Monroe – The Monroe Shocks
John Quincy Adams – The John Q. Publics
Andrew Jackson – The Hickorys (any player using a bat made of ash was traded)
Martin Van Buren – The Boys (they only played with eight fielders, signifying Van Buren’s place in the Presidential legacy)
William Henry Harrison – The One Year Wonders
John Tyler – The Canoes (they tried their best just to stay afloat)
James Polk – The Polka Dots
Zachary Taylor – The Hemmers (they weren’t very good, but they kept their fans in stitches)
Millard Fillmore – The Fillmore Cups With Oil and Go Forths
Franklin Pierce – The Hawkeyes
James Buchanan – The Buchanan BuBalls
Abraham Lincoln – The Lincoln Logs (Put up a lot of runs by swinging the big lumber)
Andrew Johnson – The Impeachments
Ulysses S. Grant – The Grant Fosters (They weren’t much to look at.)
Rutherford B. Hays – The Hard Throes Fury
James Garfield – The Odies
Chester Arthur – The Threat Crushers (great bullpen, always ended rallies)
Grover Cleveland – The Ohio Muppets
Benjamin Harrison – The Little Bens
William McKinley – The Mounts
Theodore Roosevelt – The Rough Riders (and you were always taught in school it had something to do with San Juan Hill)
William Taft – The Tafty-pulls
Woodrow Wilson – The Neighbors (the hats always hide their face, but it’s a cerebral team always out thinking their opponent)
Warren G. Harding – The Harding Hearings
Calvin Coolidge – The Hobbes
Herbert Hoover – The Vaccuums
Franklin Roosevelt – The Roosevelt Gardens
Harry Truman – The Capotes
Dwight Eisenhower – The Ike ‘n Tinas
John Kennedy – The Construction Zones (Always clogging up the basepaths)
Lyndon Johnson – The Ladybirds
Richard Nixon – The Nixon Noras
Gerald Ford – The Edsels (John Vuckovich is the manager, never hired for the job but appointed to manage after his predecessor was fired, pardon me, resigned)
Jimmy Carter – The Peanut Shells
Ronald Reagan – The Reaganomics (the players think they’re making a lot of money)
George Bush – The Bush in the Hands (no wait, he got that name mixed up – kind of like “no new taxes”)
Bill Clinton – The Whitewater Rafters (at least they didn’t pick the name “The Blue Dresses”)
George W. Bush – The Linguistics (No need to flash signs from the third base coach – no one can understand what the hell he’s saying)

CFCL Notes:

I had a little blurb on how a lot of trade talk was happening with no results. Before we went to press the Copperfields turned over 25% of their entire roster and the Rebels and Ruffins slugged it out to see who could acquire more offense. With the Ruffins only six points out of first and the Rebels thirteen points out, it looks like the Ruffins have a smaller hill to climb.

We wish Eric and Sandy Lamb the best of everything as they head down to Memphis. Hopefully we’ll still see Eric on Draft Day.

The Graging Bulls currently have 10 players on the DL. Must suck having all those guys on the DL and still be able to lap the field only twice offensively.

Non CFCL Notes:

There was a rain delay for the ESPN Radio Baseball Game of the Week on Saturday, so they rebroadcast Game 7 between the Red Sox and Yankees from 2003. I had almost forgotten that in 2003 two teams came within five outs of getting to the World Series yet failed. The Red Sox were that close as well. I guess winning the whole thing the next year (and again in 2007) erased a lot of memories. Although Grady Little is still considered an idiot in Boston, most of America has probably forgotten that the Red Sox came that close and missed. Seems like no one forgets the Cubs came that close. Five outs . . . it still hurts to think about it.