Two Months In, How's Everyone Doing?

News from Around the League

The Monroe Doctrine paid a visit to each team to see what’s happening in the lives of the owners two months into the season. Here are some snippets.

Twin Killers:
MD: What’s happening with the Killers?
TK: When last we spoke our main plan for the year was to finish ahead of Dem Rebels. That’s pretty much going to happen no matter what. The Rebels are going to pass us, actually, so our new mission this year is to win the Dallas Green Award. Starting out at 28 points gives us a pretty good shot.

DoorMatts:
MD: Matt, you’ve been in first for the last six weeks. Nicely done.
DM: Thanks, but let’s not kid ourselves. The only week that matters is the 26th. I’m a nervous wreck already. I don’t see how I’ll be able to hold up for the next four months. Take that however you like.

Candy Colored Clowns:
MD: Mike, what’s on your To-Do List?
CCC: I’m trying to come up with another put down for the Kenndoza Line. I just can’t find anything better than ‘Gentlemen .. . and Kenn’ See? It works for everything! Maybe I could find an angle with that Bert and Ernie thing he brings to the draft.

Kenndoza Line:
MD: Kenn, what’s your focus as we head into June?
KL: I’m trying to find a come back to the Clowns. “Oh yeah?” “Sez you!” Oh why can’t I be as clever as Mike?!

David’s Ruffins:
MD: Usually each summer after the students head home, the Ruffins front office heads for an amazing locale. This year any different?
DR: I’m packing for my summer sabbatical in Quebec, Norway and Japan. It’s going to be a whirlwind. The university thinks I’m going to learn something, and I am. Just not politically science related. I’m headed to learn the history of Francoeur, Pence and Fukudome.
MD: I didn’t know Pence was from Norway.
DR: I’m not sure he does either, but we’ve always wanted to go and Madam Ruffin was able to convince her higher-ups that there’s art worth studying there.

David’s Copperfields:
MD: Have things slowed down in the Copperfield household?
DC: With three boys? Are you kidding? We have three different little leagues going, plus boy scouts. I’m organizing the bake sale and have to crank out about a thousand raspberry clotschkes. Excuse me, I need to find my apron.

Dem Rebels:
MD: This year hasn’t quite turned out the way you anticipated, has it?
DR: To quote the DoorMatts “May is a busy month for the Rebels. Two kid’s birthdays, a wedding anniversary and falling out of the race all in one month.”
MD: That’s pretty harsh.
DR: You know, I’d disown him at the next family reunion, but he’s not wrong.

Morkertzuma’s Revenge:
MD: It’s June. What’s going on in the life of a Tim Morkert?
MR: School’s out and I’m on ‘Island Time’. No papers to grade, no bathroom passes to issue. I’ve finally got some “Me Time”. Eighth place will be a memory.

Red Hots:
MD: Bob, what does the summer mean to you?
RH: Kid’s are home from school so there are water gun fights to instigate, but it’s all about Vegas baby! World Series of Poker is coming and I’m gonna get me one of them bracelets.

Granging Bulls:
MD: Matt, the Bulls are hanging tight in 3rd. What’s on the agenda?
GB: Busy times, busy times. Did you see me in Row Three at Wrigley sticking pins in all my Non-Bull voodoo dolls? No? That’s because I was trying to think of a way to get rid of Lou Pinella. I’ve been at Wrigley so much this year Security is getting suspicious. Plus I’ve got to decide if the pennant is within my reach. If not I’ve got some work to do to snag 4th place. There’s a hot hitting secondbaseman from Vanderbilt I want to make sure I position myself for.