Can I Get a Little Help?

Chicago needs to improve. There is too much stupidity and entitlement going around.

I'm talking about Lance Briggs. Dude, you signed a six year deal. That means you abide by the terms of the contract for six years. You haven’t outplayed your compensation. When the Bears signed you (after you said you wouldn’t play anymore for the Bears, by the way) they expected you to play to your full capabilities, which with your talent means being an All-Pro. They didn’t sign you with the intention you would be mediocre for six years. If you’re pissed that your contemporaries make more, what did you think? Other NFL players would sign contracts worth less than yours for the next six years?

I’m talking about the idiot media and talking heads of TV and Radio. When it was learned that Ozzie Guillen wanted an extension on his contract, which expires at the end of the 2012 season (oh, by the way, Ozzie? See Lance Briggs.) these media geniuses were saying it made sense because Ozzie is a lame duck. No he isn’t. You’re a lame duck when there is no possible way the term for your position can be extended. Jim Hendry was a lame duck for a month, although only he and Ricketts knew it. George W. Bush and Bill Clinton were lame ducks, essentially once they were re-elected to office, but certainly as they entered the eighth year of their administration. Randy Bush, while not officially since he’s still in the position and could be signed for next year is about as lame a duck as you can be without being one. Ozzie still has a full season and a month on his contract. And if he, Kenny and Jerry could play nice, it’s possible he could have a lifetime contract which means he’s not a lame duck.

I’m talking about Cub Manager Mike Quade. Mike, I was your biggest supporter after the 2010 season before a “new” manager was named (really, check the Monroe Doctrine on September 20, 2010. You were my dark horse favorite). I was in agreement with the Cubs for hiring you for the 2011 and 2012 seasons because, in part, you promised you would hold players accountable and focus on the fundamentals. Well for the 2011 season the fundamentals have sucked and all you’ve done is throw your weight around at Castro, Barney and Colvin. Ramirez loafs his way to first and he keeps getting his name put on the lineup card. Soriano goes after fly balls near the leftfield wall like water goes after oil and he’s in the lineup every day. Either hold players accountable and execute the fundamentals like you promised or move on.

I’m talking about Pat Hughes. He has to go. He has negotiated into his contract that he gets the fifth inning off of every game, including spring training, (as the knowledgeable owner of the DoorMatts quipped “Could you see Vin Scully doing that?”). Additionally he has had at least two scheduled days off this season. The tone in his voice when a game goes extra innings or the temperature is above 89 degrees or below 65 is one of “I can’t believe I have to work in these conditions.” Pat, you work for the Cubs. That means virtually every year you don’t have to work from October 1^st to April 1^st as it is. You get paid to go to spring training to watch baseball – something thousands of Chicagoans do every year, yet they pay for the opportunity. Either commit yourself to the game (not dumbass stories about Gilligan’s Island or what you packed for the road trip) or, preferably, move on.

I’m talking about the Cubs. They need starting pitching. Matt Garza is ok as a #2 or #3. I can live with Wells in the 4^th or 5^th slot. I don’t mind Dempster in 3^rd or 4^th slot. We need two starters. No, we need TWO STARTERS. Andrew Cashner could be one of those guys, but not until at least 2013. He’s been injured all year so you can’t expect him to shoulder much of a load next year (remember Mark Prior in 2003?) Doug Davis, Rodrigo Lopez and Casey Coleman are not options for next year.

I’m talking about the Cubs approach to the second half of the 2011 season. You guys suck this year. You’ll be lucky to finish ahead of the Astros by giving your all. So at the end of the season you will be 25 games out of first, sitting in fourth place and have no idea what Tony Campana can do beside run really fast. No idea if Tyler Colvin is Tyler Colvin 2010, Tyler Colvin 2011 or some variation. You have no idea what Bryan LaHair is besides 28 years old. This team was dead in June and has wasted three months doing nothing besides finally, finally ridding itself of Carlos Zambrano.

Oh, and a General Manger. We need one of those too.

We have a lot of work to do. A lot of changes are coming in the off-season. But as bad as things are here in Chicago, at least we’re not Los Angeles (no NFL franchise, fans literally almost beating another team’s fan to death, bankrupt team, smog and the Real Housewives of Orange County). At least we don’t have that going for us. Which is nice.