Say It Right

Some catch phrases, or shortcuts, in sports - particularly baseball - are annoying. Why do we as a society feel the need to come up with a new phrase and then beat it into the ground until it’s just so many nails on a chalkboard? “Like” sound familiar? “I know, right?” “Really?”

Ryan Dempster takes the bump. “The bump” is just a horrible, lazy phrase. It conjures up nightmarish images thanks to TMZ and tabloid magazines. “Jennifer Garner shows off her baby bump”. That’s a pejorative expression of the miracle of the birth process. But it fits a headline and makes a stupid sound bite. Ryan Dempster is pitching, is on the hill, takes the mound, faces the Reds . . . all good phrases.

Base knock – It’s a base hit folks. Or a single. Or if you want to go Old School, a safety – but let’s not get carried away. Base knock makes no sense.

There is nothing wrong with saying a team’s home town completely. Shortening it to: St. Loo, Beantown, Beer Town (That’s Milwaukee, but St. Louis brews beer and Coors comes from Colorado) is just irritating. I can live with City by the Bay, but other than that, just say the name of the city.

Pop fly – A batter either hits a pop-up or a flyball. If an infielder catches the ball it’s a pop-up. If an outfielder gets it, it’s a flyball. There’s no reason to create a hybrid. I can trace the origin of this phrase to two possible sources, both local. Pat Hughes uses it constantly. That’s probably because he’s stupid. If it was around before Hughes came to Chicago then I blame Shawon Dunston. He would range out into the outfield and take away flyballs from the outfielders. Gary Matthews would have had 200 more putouts in his career if someone else had played shortstop.

Rake – if you’re not intimately involved in the business, don’t use the terminology. It’s like trying to spell something, say “about”, and using the terms Alpha, Bravo, Omega . . if you’re not in the military you just sound stupid. Of course Dave Otto was intimately in the business and he can’t pull it off either. Rake should only be used in the dugout among baseball players.

No-No – It refers to a pitcher throwing a no-hitter. The problem is that it sounds like the announcer is scolding a two year old. “We have a no-no!” Plus the fact there’s no reason to say “no” twice. The No refers to hits. No reason to say no-no. It’s not referring to hits and runs as there have been pitchers in major league history to throw a no-hitter and lose the game because the winning run was score via error, walk, fielder’s choice, sac fly or some combination thereof. Again, like “the bump”, it’s a sophomoric way to express something.

Oh, and one more baseball statement that isn’t a pain, just amazingly accurate. Every team will win 60, every team will lose 60, it’s what you do with the remaining 42 that determines your season. Think about that. Six months of baseball, free agent signings, trades and it all comes down to 42 games. True to form, this season every team in the Major League has lost at least 60 and won at least 60 (save the Houston Astros). The Cubs chose to win just eleven of their 42 games.