It’s always a busy time before the actual draft kicks off. We have to collect league fees, take the league photo, go over league business, sign the Copperfield Trophy and elect a New Executive Committee.
Confusion rumbled through the pre-draft activities as Dem Rebels owner, Rich Bentel, was seen wearing an Oakland A’s hat. Speculation was that Bentel is a huge Moneyball fan. In reality it came down to draft prep. The Rebels were hoping to sneak Dave Stewart and Carney Lansford on their team. Plus, it accessorized well with the Head Rebels attire. Being a slave to fashion is not an easy endeavor. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.
Amazingly everything went off without a hitch. All owners arrived before the requested 7:30am time and we were able to launch the draft ahead of our 8:00am scheduled time. However, we did have an amusing and possibly hurtful event. Seven owners put themselves on the ballot (The Ruffins, Bulls and Kenndoza Line recused themselves). Perhaps not surprisingly last year’s members were re-elected (Rich Bentel, Tim Morkert and Mike Coulter). The amusing/possibly hurtful event was that everyone received at least one vote. Everyone that is, except the DoorMatts. As the last ballot was read and the realization that Matt Bentel did not garner one vote (kudos to Matt for not voting for himself), he let loose with an expletive filled tirade much to the amusement and enjoyment of the rest of the league.
Matt must have felt much like anyone who has been rejected or denied “friendship” on Facebook. EVERYONE accepts EVERYONE as a friend. To not be accepted makes more of a statement than to be accepted. To not receive a vote could be more powerful than the single votes received by the Twin Killers and Stranger Danger.
Once everyone had settled in and stopped laughing with (or at the expense of) the DoorMatts, Dave Holian (A.K.A. The Professor) launched the CFCL draft for the 26th year in a row with the Ruffin Privilege. For the first time ever, a contest was attached to the Privilege. Some history first – Every year since he has been in the league, The Professor has nominated the first player of the draft. So this year, Co-Commissioner Bentel attached a contest to the nomination. Any team that could guess the player nominated would receive a DVD of “For Love of the Game”, starring Kevin Costner. Kenn Ruby correctly guessed that David Wright would be the first player nominated. He seemed less than thrilled by winning the “sappy-sucky movie.”
As a side note, the Ruffins reacquired David Wright at the salary of .27.
Then the real bidding kicked into gear. The Twin Killers, Candy Colored Clowns and Kenndoza Line all swung their purses at each other when the next player, beleaguered Ryan Braun, was nominated. The Killers were the last team standing, taking Braun and his steroid baggage at .51.
Shortly before or after the Ruffins Privilege, Tim Morkert made an observation. Granted we were in an opulent conference room, but the table was a hard oval making the sight lines difficult. Morkert, an educator of our youth, was struck with a thought that having our name cards balanced on end, rather than lying lengthwise would provide an easier indicator of an owner still in the bidding and thus the Morkert Innovation was born.
Two hours into the draft as Round 5 began, Drew Stubbs was nominated. During the bidding for said Drew Stubbs, inexplicably the skin quality of Alfonso Soriano came up. The Ruffins commented that Mrs. Ruffin says that Soriano has beautiful skin. Apparently it's not a one time observation. Every at bat there's an unbelieving shake of the head, slight smile and comment "What beautiful skin". As The Professor pointed out, Mrs. Ruffin's observation is ALWAYS followed by Soriano wildly swinging at a curveball six inches off the corner of the plate. That prompted the Rebels to point out that their oldest daughter thinks Soriano is a great player. That prompted the Clowns to point out one of their kids thinks Soriano strikes out every time at bat. All this during the bidding of Stubbs.
For the rest of the draft, if an owner had any concerns about increasing the bid on any player, they were either encouraged or discouraged by other owners with comments about that player’s skin quality.
Alfonso “Beautiful Skin” Soriano went to the Danger for .07
For all his inspiration and Innovation earlier, Mr. Morkert wasn’t immune to the slow points of the draft. During the bidding for Juan Rivera Tim, intelligently, was looking ahead at his team’s needs, specifically catcher. With Tim being lost in thought a call went out saying “Tim you’re up.” Not realizing he was to bid to either increase the bid or drop out on Rivera already in progress, Tim’s response was “Chris Snyder for a penny.” And thus the Chris Snyder Incident was born. The Revenge quickly recovered from any embarrassment and passed on Rivera.
With the next player nomination Dem Rebels brought down the house by nominating Chris Snyder for a penny. It was an innocent move since the Rebels were desperate for a catcher (which is redundant since Chris Snyder was the nominated player). Snyder flew through the bidding, including the Revenge who apparently didn’t want to double his salary to .02 and landed on the Rebels roster for .01.
The traditional provision of Twizzlers and pretzel rods had an unfortunate turn. Usually the goodies make an appearance around the third round – at least that’s how Co-Commissioner and former team owner David Mahlan handled things. Lamenting not getting the catchers he had targeted and further whining over the dearth of talent remaining at that position, Co-Commissioner Bentel didn’t whip out, as it were, the Twizzlers and rods until late in the draft. Catchers played a devastating role in the 2012 draft.
In what is thought to be a CFCL first, the owners cruised through three rounds before taking a break. This put the league on a pace to finish faster than last year. This year’s Auction Draft was completed in a snappy four hours and fifty-eight minutes, besting last year’s time by twenty-six minutes.
The Candy Colored Clowns brought an end to the draft by acquiring Jorge DelaRosa at 12:53pm.
An interesting note. Joey Votto was kept going into the draft by the Kenndoza Line at .52. During the draft two other players went for .50+ (Carlos Gonzalez, .52 and Ryan Braun .51). Going back as far as 2006, there was no more than one player drafted in the .50 range (2011 – Joey Votto .52; 2010 – None; 2009 – Albert Pujols .50; 2008 – Chase Utley .53; 2007 – Albert Pujols .55; 2006 – Bobby Abreu .50).
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